Heart-break

The past weeks been hard. But I wont go into details. And when I stumbled upon this picture, my sensitive soul breaks. 

This very second, I am taking a moment to pause. Just stop thinking about myself for awhile and just pray for anyone, anywhere, any human being, and or animals wherever they may be that is in need of comfort. 

May you find a friend, a glimpse of peace, faith, hope... and eventually, Love.

Source: Here

A North Korean man waves his hand as a South Korean relative weeps, following a luncheon meeting during inter-Korean temporary family reunions at Mount Kumgang resort October 31, 2010. Four hundred and thirty-six South Koreans were allowed to spend three days in North Korea to meet their 97 North Korean relatives, whom they had been separated from since the 1950-53 war.

The Most Inspiring Elementary School Student

Meet my new hero; A Kenyan woman named Priscilla Sitienei who is going to class with six of her great-great-grandchildren in order to complete her primary school education. She is 90.

Sitienei is a midwife in the village of Ndalat with no skill to read and write. She joined Leaders Vision Preparatory School five years ago in order to learn how to, with hopes to pass on her knowledge of herbs and natural medicines by writing them down. To this day, she’s believed to be the oldest primary school student in the world. Her classmates call her “Gogo,” which translates from the local language, Kalenjin, as “grandmother.” And as if we do not learn from her enough, she wears the school uniform!

Below are Gogo's words as told to the BBC:

“I’d like to be able to read the Bible, I also want to inspire children to get an education. Too many older children are not in school. They even have children themselves. They tell me they are too old,” she continued. “I tell them, ‘Well I am at school and so should you. I see children who are lost, children who are without fathers, just going round and round, hopeless. I want to inspire them to go to school.” 

“I want to say to the children of the world, especially girls, that education will be your wealth, don’t look back and run to your father,” she said. “With education you can be whatever you want, a doctor, lawyer, or pilot.”

Sitienei still works as a midwife, sometimes assisting women to give birth in her dorm room, which she shares with her great-great-grandchild. She is the motivator, inspiration, a fun friend to all her class mates. 

And the world.

ps: What's our excuse?

I give a damn

About overused plastic bags.
Animal abuse and force feeding. And people proudly capturing their moments having a chunk of foie gras on their plate of whatever...(darlings... read, please)
I give a damn about your problem. What music you listen to and what your childhood was like.
Being kind more than necessary.
What you wear on first date. And whether or not you will open the door for me. I give a damn.
Your favorite color(s), and your least. Pollution and why do people let the water run while they are brushing their teeth, why?
Good deeds. Saying good morning and thank you and please. Thank you... is crucial.Littering (I could seriously injure you if you do... *gameface)
Christmas. How you kiss. Drinking enough water everyday. What your children like. What you read and don't.
Mangrove. The new RI 1. The words you use. Zoo.
I give a lotta damn.

Damn.

Intimidate much?

Well I never felt that way before... but my best girlfriends (and some guy friends!) starting to nudge this out of me!

So, I can come across as intimidating to the guy that I am with. Not to friends nor colleagues because I pretty much let my hair down when I am with them. But relationships get me nervous and I always put one shield before another to protect myself from getting hurt. The best way to do that is to be... cocky, bossy and to be "Miss-I-always-have-an-opinion-about-anything", or as my best friend Ria would say"Miss-Whoever-You-are".

Guilty. I do that to any guy that I was with.

I am not here to speak for all the ladies with this post, obviously... But just in case you are the type that will not enjoy being too close to an intimidating lady, I will give you a hint or two to recognise them instantly.

These are their (or, my species) symptoms and I am taking the liberty to use the word "we"

• We will always have an opinion about something. And the deeper we are in disagreement, the more we will enjoy it. It does not matter who will win the argument (oh yes, we look for one), we just enjoy being stimulated that way
• There will never be a day in which we say "Up to you." when a guy asked where to go for dinner. Isn't that why you asked? To get our answer? The closest thing I do to being submissive is to narrow down the option by saying this "Well. I am down with almost anything but NOT restaurant A, B or X..." 
• When we feel like it took the guy ages to pick what he wants from the menu, we will fearlessly make suggestions as in telling you what to order exactly. Not every guy appreciates that... apparently. 
• We will say bluntly if we like you or if what you did make us feel special. But we will also look you in the eyes and say "I do not like what you just said/did...". You do not have to fish for compliments nor a complaint
• If you show respect to your parents, elderly and a waiter, we will praise you for that.
• When we say "I will support you." we mean it with all our heart. Same goes when we say "You are amazing." We mean that
• Taking notes on chivalry gestures is one of our specialties. So yes, we did notice when you wait to take the first bite of your meal after we have ours. Thank you for that.
• We will make sharp feedback if you asked us about work, personal life, or a football match. And we can be soft-spoken about it... but sometimes, maybe... we forget. Not that we do not appreciate you, but it feels enthralling to know that someone that we like and or love wants to know what is on our mind
• This is my personal biggest sin: Around a month after my wedding, I got invited to a dinner event in which my assistant RSVPd with my name that she changed with liberty to my then husband's last name. I did not blame her, she was just making an assumption. But when my then husband and I arrived there, I could not help it. I asked them to change my last name back to my maiden name in the guest list. I did not mean anything to hurt or offend him, no way.. but that's not my name... and nothing can change that
• You can almost hear our eyes roll when you used the so-called pick up lines. And our eyebrows will reach our tip of forehead when you wear ugly shoes. Raising eyebrows! Cannot help it
• If you get sick, we can take care of  you like a protective mama. But do not nag. Just drink that drops, and get better
• We buy our own stuffs and like to point that out to the guy we are in a relationship with. Especially if they are good stuff. No means to be a snob there, we just want them to know that we do not need them to worry about that part in our life. Yes, a beautiful watch can be a nice gesture for our birthdays, or a designer-labeled hand bag. But we will not judge you if it is not a vintage-oyster Rolex or Marc Jacobs. We have that covered. Do not freak out.... 
• It can happen 5 years from now. Or 2. But going back to college is most likely in the agenda
• We know if whether or not we want kids. We know. Just like we know where we want to be in 5 years. Or what to have for dinner
• No matter in what century we are now living, we still expect you to open the door for us. No room for negotiation here
• Befriending us is easy. We can go with friends to a thrift store and we go for cheap lunches. But when it comes to dating, we will judge a man by how much they tip the waiter. This.is.true
• Mortgage of our very own house. Check
• Chanel hand bag, well-taken-care pet. Check. Check
• Vibrator? Oh yes... check
• We secretly think we are smarter than you are. And here's the last one...
• Asking for your opinion in our big life decisions? Only if you survive the above. And that means you are in the safe zone, baby

Those are the one(s) I can see and admit so far
Now I have a question, would you change something about yourself to fill up... let's say, someone's ego? 

Will you go out with a man that is going to tell you to be submissive when you are not?

Is there a safe meet-half-way line in between so you can compromise to keep the relationship? Or to build a solid one?

If you were not afraid

If fear is nowhere to be found in my bone... This is what I am going to do: Just quit and actually write that book I have been rambling about the past 3 years.

Everybody knows how much I love my job and how proud I am of the company. But this calling is getting louder, and to fulfill that; I have to be fearless. This of course revolves around financial stability. How would I pay my house? Will the calling be as fulfilling, at one point, financial wise? Am I going to let go easily; all the perks that I am now enjoying?

Is status really does not matter to me? What about my health plan?

See?!

This can only happen if I am THAT brave... gutsy, lionhearted, and filled with flaming courage.

And, in love life? Oh gawd. This is even harder.

I will fall hopelessly in love. And be vulnerable. :)

What about you?

ps: This post is lawfully inspired by this tumblr.

Braveheart

My nephew excitedly told me the whole story about his recent outbound trip. " My class went to this little village near Bogor and we did many interesting activities... bathe the cows, play in the mud, picnic, tree-climbing and even bull-riding!"

At the end of the conversation, he handed the phone to his mom, my sister. She spilled an insider's note that as much as Joseph enjoyed the whole outbound activity, the 'Tightrope walking' exercise got him super terrified. He cried at first before my sister and her husband successfully convinced him to put on the harness and get on it.

"It does not stop there..", my sister continues "Joseph made at least three pauses, with his super tight and pale face, shaky legs, dripping sweats.... crying softly. But he did not stop, he continue to make it until the end of the rope. He finished the frightening rope walk."

I learned a new lesson today.

It is easier if you are brave by heart (or by birth!). If you are one adventurous soul and if the challenge you have to face is familiar for you to deal. It's easier if you are initially  a bold person, because what seems to be freaky and bloodcurdling  for other people, might be  just like an easy jump for you to do.

But when you are scared to the bone... When one's eerie challenge gives you goosebumps and gets your heart to pound, will you be courageous enough to keep on going? 

Will you be big enough to face those people who might mock you when you are obviously trembling, shaking... when you broke down crying?

Will you keep on walking to the other end of the line?

Joseph, a 5 year-old, did. And his brave act in a challenge that might appear as nothing compared to what us adults have to face in daily life, is daring enough to make me feel like a little person.

Thank you for the lesson Joseph, I am so proud of you.

Miss Whoever-you-are?

Though I have read Truman Capote's Breakfast at Tiffany's (cover to cover) and seen the movie (sorry, but...zzzzzz).... somehow, not until this very evening that I realize how this feels like a slap in my face...

"You know what's wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You're chicken, you've got no guts. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, "Okay, life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness." You call yourself a free spirit, a "wild thing," and you're terrified somebody's gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself." 

(Breakfast at Tiffany's, 1961) 

ps: Thanking "bayikbayik's blog"

np: Moon River

From here

Daring to Begin

I am about to do one of the thing that scares me the most. 

This has to start now... 

from Well-traveled Woman

Pick me up day

No matter how strong, how independent, how reliable and how big we are... We all need a "pick me up" moment. Every now and then.

This is my moment.

ps: If you can say No to those eyes; you need help.

this Wheaton is from "Puppies"

Loving Friday: "We accept the love we think we deserve"

As promised ladies...  On today' s Loving Friday , we will talk about  "We accept the love we think we deserve ". I read the quote in "The Perks of being a Wallflower" - a coming of age book by Stephen Chbosky . A quote that struck me at heart and deliver me to another affirmation.

Rather than phrasing a long paragraph... Why don't we have a look on these brief samples:

ps: I should warn you this can be a little knife-like. If you have a feeling you will not going to like what I am about to say, you can skip this page. But this is something that a woman should not keep quiet about and I hope this way is decent enough....

If you think it is alright for your partner to abuse you with his words, far worse... hit  you, lay his hands on you and make you feel you are not worth his respect, I have to use this chance to let you know that you are wrong. 

You think that is how a relationship is supposed to be or that you deserve it. You do not.

I am sorry, and I know your pain. Let me know how I can be of help, because there is no shame in saying so.

If you let the relationship change you to become someone that you are not.... it is probably because you do not really know who you really are yet, so you get carried away and try to re assure that this is just a phase that you need to go through. It's okay, I have been there. But self exploring is something we owe to self and not anyone else. Keep walking.

I am nowhere near perfection but fitted enough to share because I speak by a bittersweet truth I have experienced from a thing or two out of the scenario above. With a massive courage, I also have to get through a severe pain before being able to save myself.  I know what I am worth. Know what I deserve. 

Truth is, it took me a while to be able to gather myself and speak this up, with only one humble intention, I have to let you know  : No one... nothing... should stop you from getting the love that you deserve. 

Too hard and too  impossible for you? I know, I probably will need to read this for myself if I ever be in a similar situation again. But, remember one more thing... 

More than Autism

Ever been in a group of people (or in an environment of cliques) who casually throw jokes on autism? For example, when someone on the table is too busy with his or her gadget and the other person will just lightly shout " Hey, do not be autistic! drop your gadget". And they just laugh... STUPID. I say this again with all my heart... That is just STUPID.

So I was the first one in my group of friends who took the liberty of saying there is no way I will tolerate that kind of joke. Try read about autism (yes, I can give you some references), or be friends with someone who is having a family member with autism. If you can still use that joke, you might as well just plainly... moronic or simply a mean ignorance.
I have no one close to me dealing with this battle. But I do not need to wait or to encounter with one first to be able to show a sincere empathy. I may not as grand as other people who can do bigger things like working as a volunteer in a special need school (thumbs up), but I at least know that I can chose my jokes and humors. And autism is not one of it. Not even close.

ps: To all the family out there who are so courageous in facing autism. My love and prayers are with you.
To find out more about autism, click here. 

Autism Awareness

In every opportunity

Timothy Richard "Tim" Tebow  ; a divine, distinguished portrait of a godly man  .

No bitterness

A friend asked why is it possible for me to hold no grudge about my past. Why I don't even bother to grow hatred to someone or anyone... or any situation that have had hurt me (prob to the most).

These are some of the reasons why.. in my own words:

• I deserve a second chance. So does love. I learned that if it did not work with one, it does not mean I have to love less the next time I have the chance to. I instead, need to love more.
• I believe not only that happiness is a state of mind and heart, but also an act of freedom. I have zero interest to even consider that painful destiny exist.
• Proverbs 31 is an ultimate guide that I will never gave up trying to comprehend. I may not be there yet but I am closer every step of the way. One day at a time.
• Tho I wander and sometimes think in the most complicated labyrinth, it is so easy to make me laugh and feel happy. Really easy. So I think that affects :)
• God. And I do not have to explain to you why  :)

The good in good people

This sup to be posted on Inspiration Sunday. But, I cannot help it. Have you ever get sick of bad news and hearing how heartless people make moves?. This little story somehow can be a remedy. " The Good" is still out there ... You just have to open you eyes wide enough and be humble enough to appreciate little things, smallest act of kindness in live.

Taken in 2006, this is a photo of Chief Master Sergeant John Gebhardt in Iraq holding a child who had "received extensive gunshot injuries to her head while insurgents attacked her family killing both her parents and many of her siblings." The nurses said John is the only one who seems to calm her down, so John has spent the last four nights holding her while they both slept in that chair. "I got as much enjoyment out of it as the baby did. I reflected on my own family and life and thought about how lucky I have been.

Source: The Good In People

Trust Me

I am tired. I am exhausted. I can be in distress when I am weary. Yes, I can be weary. I sometimes want to say No but it seems almost impossible to swallow my pride all the time- being this someone who seems to always "have the answers" to everything.  Truth is , I don't. 

I want to tell you that sometimes, I am not okay. Come over and cry over my shoulder... But, do you know that I can be dishearten too? When I tell you not to be scared, do you have any idea how frightened I really am inside? That this curve I have beaming on my face takes a lot of work too? 

Please, do not be in that dismay knowing that I need you here, I can get deserted too, I can cry myself out in the middle of the night and wishing to be that fragile little heart, and being taken care of. Yes, I can be weak too. I don't always have to keep it together on my shoulder. I am not always that strong. Trust me.

Credit unknown. Anyone?

I remember

Today. Two years ago.

I remember the pain, I remember crying out loud and the sleepless nights. I remember the severe anger of letting go and left being in shattering heart . 

I remember the dusts, the wreckage and the horrifying sound of fear.

But most, I remember the courage. I remember picking up pieces of faith and  getting stronger everyday. 

I remember the friendship melts into a very very strong bond...I remember... A family.

I am Nujood, Age 10 and Divorced

Tell me if the title does not shatter your heart into pieces.  I hate to tell you this but this is a true story from a radiant  girl with a gigantic courage, Nujood. When her family would not help her escape the horror her life had become, Nujood acted on her own. " I want a divorce" - are words that who would have ever thought will ever come out from a girl who's supposed to be at school and playing "tea party" or making a scrap book with you. But it did.

Nujood with Shada. "I'll do my best to keep him from hurting you again," the lawyer said, "but you must be strong." Photo: Hamed Thibet

This is her story:

My head is spinning – I’ve never seen so many people. In the yard outside the courthouse, a crowd is bustling in every direction: men in suits and ties with yellowed files tucked under their arms; other men wearing the zanna, the traditional ankle-length tunic of northern Yemen; and all these women, shouting and weeping so loudly that I can’t understand a word. It’s as if I were invisible. No-one sees me: I’m too small for them. I’m only ten years old, maybe not even that. Who knows?

People say judges are the ones who help people in need. So I have to find one and tell him my story. I’m exhausted. It’s hot under my veil, I have a headache, and I’m so ashamed.

I notice a man in a white shirt and black suit walking towards me. A judge, perhaps, or a lawyer? “Excuse me, mister, I want to see the judge.” “Over that way, up the steps,” he replies with hardly a glance at me, before vanishing back into the throng. My feet feel like lead when I finally step onto the marble floor.

I spy a group of men in uniforms. If they see me, they might arrest me. A little girl running away from home. Trembling, I discreetly latch on to the first passing veil, hoping to get the attention of the woman it conceals. “I want to talk to the judge.”

Two big eyes framed in black stare at me in surprise.

“What judge are you looking for?”

“Take me to a judge – it doesn’t matter which one!”

She stares at me, astonished.

“Follow me,” the woman finally says. The door opens onto a room full of people, and at the far end, behind a desk, a thin-faced man with a mustache. It’s the judge at last. I sit down, rest my head against the back of the chair and await my turn.”

“And what can I do for you?” A man’s voice rouses me from my dozing. It is a curiously gentle voice. I rub my face and recognize, standing in front of me, the judge with the mustache. The room is almost empty.

“I want a divorce.”

continue reading

122 Years- Charlie Chaplin

"Life is a beautiful, magnificent thing, even to a jellyfish. ... The trouble is you won't fight. You've given up. But there's something just as inevitable as death. And that's life. Think of the power of the universe — turning the Earth, growing the trees. That's the same power within you — if you'll only have the courage and the will to use it"

Calvero's (Chaplin's character) answer to Terry's question: "What is there to fight for?" in Limelight (1952) '.

Pixar's wisdom

I have seen most of Pixar's production. But their collections of short films? Top notch genius! The way they create something so entertaining, inspiring, rich with values and sum it up to a 5 minutes duration of movie is just amazing! Yes I am a big time cartoon/ animation movie aficionado. It runs in the family I guess. We keep that little child soul alive and we can torch it up whenever we want to.

This one is my favorite, "Partly Cloudy"  .What I versed from the movie is , sometimes, you cannot control what life offers you. But, it is the eagerness to gear up and to keep on going that counts and make life is worth the shot. Like this one cute stork; Peck, who enlivens the honorable attitude when he has to stand by Gus- a cloud character who keeps giving him "not so cuddly babies" for Peck to deliver.

Pixar short films , Jádore!

other people's life may seems like a walk in the park

whilst yours?...

there comes a time when you even wish for a lemon!

but you don't stumble. you don't give up. you just shake it off.

AND. you gear up.seriously

because you know you need to carry on...and because you can

Courage

photo by Aaron Thompson

Courage is enduring the unendurable with dignity. There are a thousand inspiring quotes and words about courage. But this one picture says it better than I could ever hope for.

Marine Staff Sergeant Marcus "Marc" Golczynski, was killed in Iraq on March 27, 2007. At his funeral in Lewisburg, Tennessee on April 4th, Daily News Journal photographer Aaron Thompson captured Marc Golczynski’s teary-eyed son, 8-year-old Christian, accepting his father's casket flag from Marine Lieutenant Colonel Ric Thompson.

I see a brave young kid in Christian's teary eyes. I see how much he needs to carry- losing someone whom he look up to as a hero.

And that is true, because later on I learn that Christian claims he wants to be a marine soldier when he grow up. Just like his father. Amen.

That, my friend, is a one big portrait of what we know as courage.