Canine Epilepsy Journey

Against all odds, we got to celebrate Marilyn's 8th birthday last October. It was simple, sweet, filled with cuddles and treats. We even got wishes from all across the world. Some of you might have been following her story for years, and even connect with me in some ways (thank you, all of you my IG friends with an epileptic baby in tow). 

Here's a medical update: 

When she turned six, our vet has laid out all the truth and some hard to grasp reality. I have come to accept it. Her regular Phenobarbital 30/60mg will no longer distance the seizure as effectively as it used to, nor will those electro acupuncture. To avoid a lurking kidney failure, we tried to alternate her medicine with herbal drops- Cuprum 30 (copper), and she seemed to respond quite well until two months ago... Today, we'd be lucky if she has no seizure for a day.

Everyday, I am feeling like walking on an eggshell because a slight change of emotion can now effect her harshly. 

Soppy story aside, she still is the same goofy girl that I love, and I have told her (with tears streaming down my cheeks), that I will not force her to stay strong for me... if that day comes, she can bring some parts of my shattered heart with her. I promise to be a little bit braver than I am today.

Last week, I wrote a short note for all of you parents out there dotting a kid with a special need, something that I hope can ease your pain a little bit:

To parents and pawrents out there, with a special kid in tow

Who sometimes feel the need to hide their sorrow and putting on a game face on when their heart is on the floor

During one of the hardest nights, when you are cradling your baby through the most difficult hours...

Try to look into their eyes

Trust me

They think... you, are magic

Standing strong with epilepsy

You read that right.

But it's not me. It is my baby girl, my cheeky-smart-goofy black Labrador Marilyn a.k.a Midnight Blonde.

She was diagnosed with Canine Epilepsy before she turned two. Her (probably) first seizure was before my very eyes. I was shocked in an assumption that she got food poisoning. Turned out, it was (is) Epilepsy.

And our life's been a tad of a roller coaster ever since.

Here's a simple explanation about it: 

Epilepsy is a brain disorder that causes the dog to have sudden, uncontrolled, recurring physical attacks, with or without loss of consciousness. This may sometimes occur for unknown reasons (idiopathic) or due to genetic abnormalities. 

And Marilyn has it. She has done several tests which ruled out other suspects and is proven as healthy and young enough to be on Phenobarbital. The vet has provided me with the right kind of diet and exercise plan. The tests were not cheap, and neither does her medicine and special diet, but she is family, so I do not mind.

What's a bit disturbing is that it will not cure it. It will just help her to distance the episodes. Any drastic changes in routine, or major swings of my emotions may trigger her gran mal. She cannot be too tired, too excited, or too stressed.
And since we have a strong bond ... I always always know when she's going to have her seizure.

However, even though I have handled her for (what seems to bee too often and too long) episodes, my heart is always floored. I am much calmer now, and learning a lot from her brave heart.
At this stage, her seizures might last to 7 minutes, which equals to eternity. Ranging from fit and spasm to total body unconsciousness to the point that she is losing control of her bladder. I lost my calm when she peed herself during one horrific episode. "It's okay baby... I am here... we're okay..." are my words of encouragement as I am trying hard not to form rivers down my cheeks. I am never sure if I say it to calm her of myself. Well, the latter, obvi.
But as soon as she's relaxed, she will immediately kiss me as if saying "I am back, Mama."
Mahoni, her best friend will usually sit next to me the whole time. Giving me support more that anyone can understand.

I am now in search of other types of medicine. She is responding well to Phenobarbital but in the longer run, it will eat her kidney alive. If anyone out there can give more information, please let me know.
It took me months to share this story of mine and now I am brave enough and is actually asking for advice and moral support. 

But the most important thing that I want to convey is, even with epilepsy, she still is, my cheeky-smart-goofy baby girl.
She has epilepsy, but it does not have her. 

ps: Read this What you need to know about Canine Epilepsy

Update as per June 2017
Her seizure now last from 12 minutes to 2hr long and she would actually pooped if it was that strong.
The worst was in February,  where in less than one week she had a 1,5 hr and 2 hr long attack which causing her a high fever for 7 days long.

Update as per June 2018
Her recent test shows her liver is functioning perfectly despite her multiplied Phenobarbital dosage. But we had two cluster episodes this year that force us to rushed her to the pet hospital so she can get sedative shots. Both cluster episodes lasted nearly three hours long. High fever keeps following after cluster episodes with the highest temperature being 41degrees.


We are alternating acupuncture for her too.

I love you too

Three's a charm: Things I learned from my dogs

And am being dead serious.

Soon enough, my instagram account will be assumed as my dogs's account (Mahoni and Marilyn) as there are more pictures of them in there than mine. I personally think that they are the most interesting things that I have in my life so far and they simply are gorgeous in #selfies without having to pout. And, #nofilter needed.

And I understand fully why I am doing so. Take a closer look to why you are doing what you are doing, you may learn a thing or two. I am now realizing three main things I learned from my dogs.

(I actually am learning hundreds but let us stick with three for now)

1. They are smarter than most people I know. We know exactly what relationship with certain kind of people will bring. We know what dynamic is going to work and what is not. You know he is not the one. You know she's going to wear you down. But, trying our luck to be proven wrong, or right, we keep pushing it. You are fully aware that it's a toxic relationship, but you keep coming back for more. Because, you know, "Maybe this person will change." Or if you are lucky, maybe this is just a phase. If you are downright delusional, you will think "Maybe, my body will develop some magical immune for his or her behavior."  The worse: "I am here to change him." Who's been there? (*raise hand*confession). Mahoni (a mutt), is a smart paws. Her hunting drive tells her that snakes are dangerous. So, to date, she killed three for me. We found them falling from the trees on an empty land behind our garden. But, once Mahoni learned that chasing and biting big frogs will end up making her vomit, never once she tried to hunt them down again. "What's in it for me?" she thinks. Geckos on the other hand are fun to chase (extra benefit: strong legs, cardio) and will give no side effects. So.... 
2. Uncompromising level of discipline. Marilyn (Labrador) is obsessed with, ehm...well... everything. But most especially, food. However, no matter how hungry (she thinks) she is, after you put her filled with dog food bowl on the floor, she will sit nicely. Just sits there... until you asked her to "Shake-hand" or "High-Five" and you say "Okay!". Only then, she will finish her meal in seconds. I trained this myself. So, I was surprised to know that she behaves the same way when my sister feeds her. Or my mom, or my brother. Anyone. Raised by teachers (grandparents) discipline has always been my main course. But there were times when I was still in college, I would not come early to a class if I think "Ah, this credit is easy for me to pass.". I will only be there 15 minutes earlier if the class or the lecturer was a tough one. Even when I know my grandparents golden rule was "Always be ready in your class 15 minutes earlier before everyone else.". I took it personally, I compromised. Marilyn does not. Even if you put steak on top of her bowl to lure her already drooling saliva. 
3. Their unconditional love. If I need to explain to you about dog's unconditional love, you may want to come over to our house. 

Sleeping. Done teaching me a thing or two. 

Mind Mapping

A few years ago, I posted this picture on the left, read here: My future house. 

Just this week, I took a snap shot of Marilyn posing in front of my bookshelf a few weeks ago, posted the picture on instagram with "What are we reading, Mama?".

Then, a few days after, I realized something... I have been storing this dream in my mind for years!

My library is not 5 times bigger and richer (yet), but it already is inside my own home. 

My dog is a she (2,5 years now), but she is a black, hold your breath... a Black Labrador.

Oh. wow. 

Way to synchronize, universe. 

And to God be the Glory, Sola Gratia.

Am a Mama Tiger!

And I also have a Narwhal and a sniffer Labrador!

Back in 2007, I donated some fund to Schmutzer; a primate center in Jakarta, and actually partake in voluntary work. After that, helped by a friend, I supported OFI with little things like cash contributions, purchasing merchandises, etc. My dream of going on ECO tours to see the gorgeous Orangutans shall wait.

The past two years, if you have been following my blog, you will notice that Sumatran Tigers have become another one of my concern. It is just heart breaking to see the vanishing populations. Today, fewer than 400 of that graceful big cats exist. 

I then learned about Narwhals(the closest thing we have to Unicorn!). This goofy looking sea unicorns been harvested for its meat and ivory. Are we really that greedy?

But here's a happier news. As a newly four-legged ‪#‎wwf‬ team, sniffer Labradors (and German Shepherds) are being deployed in airports and at checkpoints to stop illegal wildlife trade. How PAWsome is that?

I cannot join rangers in the wilderness, nor save the sea-unicorns with my hands. And my nose is only good in sniffing good food.

But I want my children to still be able see them in future. That is all.

If you have the same dream, maybe you want to adopt them too... WWF.

“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.”― Mahatma Gandhi

Dirgahayu ke 69, Republik Indonesia

Done helping Mama erecting the flag.
Woofy yours,

Marilyn.

Abbey and Meredith

I am sure that some of you have read this heartbreaking story before. I did a few years ago and just stumbled upon the same article again this afternoon… realizing that Abbey was a female black Labrador just like Marilyn! The story is stated to be true and not hoax, it is the picture below that has not got any disclaimer yet... But imagine my heart if that's the truth!

So without further ado… Here’s me re posing the story. Grab your Kleenex cause I am out of them :')

Ps: I always wish that some mean people would trade life span with dogs. Dogs should live longer. 

Source: True.

Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month. The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey.  She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her.  I told her that I thought we could so she dictated these words:

Dear God,
Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick.

I hope you will play with her. She likes to play with balls and to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her You will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.

Love, Meredith

We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office.

A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet.  I told her that I thought He had.

Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, ‘To Meredith’ in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, ‘When a Pet Dies.’

Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note:


Dear Meredith,

Abbey arrived safely in heaven. Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away.

Abbey isn’t sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog.

Since we don’t need our bodies in heaven, I don’t have any pockets to keep your picture in, so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by.

Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you.

I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much. By the way, I’m easy to find, I am wherever there is love.

Love,
God…

My Brother's Keeper

I showered my lab Marilyn with excessive kisses after I read this story below. How lucky you are Eli, and gawd how I wish I shall never part with any of my dogs!

notes: Photo and caption by PhotoFriday.

Brady Rusk, 12, hugs Eli at a retirement and adoption ceremony at Lackland Air Force Base, Texas. The bomb-sniffing Labrador retriever was assigned to Brady’s older brother, Marine Pfc. Colton Rusk, 20, who was killed in action in Afghanistan by Taliban sniper fire Dec. 2010. The Department of Defense granted the Rusk’s permission to adopt Eli and allow him to join their family. photo courtesy of: Tech. Sgt. Bennie J. Davis III, USAF

Marilyn my baby Lab

Law of attraction works indeed!

My adoration to Marilyn Monroe has become  more obvious ever since my baby Labrador Marilyn arrived as my birthday present :)

I seriously cannot tell which one is the most beautiful. Can you?

Truth about Cats and Dogs

What are you? A cat or a dog person?

I certainly am a dog person. And this one cracks me up all right!

Piccsy

Black Lab

Ah, can you read between the posts? :)

Pinterest

Baron or Marilyn

I have been thinking about having a black Labrador as a pet, a lot. Thinking about it everyday! On my way to work, shop, anywhere, I whine and moan whenever I see someone walking their dogs around. I have Bosco (mix of daschund  and pointer) at home in Jakarta but bringing him to Bali is administratively painful, and not to mention that my sister already fall for him and takes care of Bosco as if it is her own.

Needless to say, it will be too selfish if I push myself to own a black lab now. So maybe, this can be my birthday gift next year...*wink.

Do I already have a name?

You bet I do.

Who do you think this black beauty is, is it Baron, or Marilyn? :)

Pinterest

Future house

This is like a mind mapping of my future house. 

A library and a giant black Labrador? Precise! 

I am thinking of Baron or Lennon for his name (if it is a he) 

And, oh hold it... my library is going to be five times richer, bigger, nicer.

Captive Reader

Black Beau

Hey baby... Aren't you a beauty?

from petswelove

Goodnight

Another sweet black furry animal to call it a night... 
Goodnight sweethearts. We only need 2 more sleeps before Christmas :)

thanks Fransisca!

Birong

What is it with me and black haired animals these days?

ps: Birong (Batak language, means : Blacky :)