Feb 2, 2018

Walking the talk

Don't you just love it when article tag lines promise to help us to discover “Who I’m meant to be.” Am I not already that person? How does one go about doing this? Could there be a less scientific pursuit?
I tried to be my skeptical self but then... well... This question been banging my head for almost two years now and I've lost sleeps thinking about it!

At the end of 2017, I've finally had the courage to stop talking about my fears and make that change. It's not just about the signs and all the coincidences, it's about what will make me go to sleep feeling less doubtful about what I am actually doing in life. I need to be the person that I am meant to be.

So, here goes.

Today is my official last day working in the hotel industry.
Yes, you've read that right.

And whilst typing the above, I was waiting for wave of emotions to shock me. To my surprise, it did not happen... it feels so natural. After ten years, after five properties. After making my path just enough people actually commented with "Wow, it's like the end of an era!"
I do not feel anything in that scale of magnitude. I appreciate the comments but deep down I know that none of us is irreplaceable. We just need to make sure we are creating our own legacy. No matter how small.
This feels okay. And if I am being brutally honest, my body feels like it's embracing its longing journey. "Where have you been?"

From tomorrow onward, I will embrace my "Act 2" with a small communications agency. Writing, creating content for much smaller establishments to pay the bills and to have enough to share and at the same time using my time for causes I am invested in  like this, this, or this.
And the book I've been talking about finishing? Goodness me.
Will this be a big break or an epic fail, I know I owe this to myself. I've been feeling so guilty for doing nothing about my own longtime dreams and hopes. 
And what's worst? I have been talking about it for years!

But all that stops now.

And I have faith that God is on my side. To Him be the glory.

Jan 10, 2018

Borneo Orangutan Survival Foundation

By far the best birthday present ever.

Thank you everyone for your contribution. We have managed to donate IDR 13,310,185 for the work of Borneo Orangutan Survival Foundation to rescue-rehabilitate-and release the Orangutans that are victims of poaching and palm oil plantation and to keep the Orangutans' habitat from extinction.

I promise you this will not be the last.

Now please pray for my left knee because I really want to run more Marathons just to sound this again and again!

God bless you!

ps: My SG Marathon timing was the worst ever because I was fighting a fever. Vomiting every 10K, I was so close to giving up.
God made me able to finish. He walked (Yes I walked from KM 25 to KM 40) by my side and remind me of why I am doing this.

Dec 27, 2017

What I learned in 2017

For me, 2016 was a year of wealth. My award winning short movie resulted in some good financial boost. There were some free-lance projects that seemed to fall on my lap too because of it.

How to best picture it; I flew half of my family members to Bali and paid for most of things; return tickets, entertainment, lunches and dinners. 
The house also got some nip and tuck ; new roof for the garage, new sofa, I even installed a new air conditioning in the guest room.
It was easy.

But it did not take long for it to go South as soon as I entered 2017...

Illustration by Aolanow

Nov 15, 2017

My 42.195K For the Orangutans

Dear beautiful people, I will run my next Full Marathon this coming 3rd December at the @sgmarathon and raise fund for the work of Bosfoundation for the Orangutans ❤️

I understand fully that the work of educating people, and to rescue-rehabilitate-release the Orangutans that are the "Gardeners of the Forest" is a long and tough journey, so I want to dedicate my time, my struggle in Marathon for them while raising fund

Please get to know these beautiful people at Borneo Orangutan Survival Foundation and contribute to the welfare of our close relative, the Orangutans, and their habitat.


1. Click HERE and 
2. Press “Donate Now”/ “Donasi Sekarang”
3. Fill in your contact details
4. Enter the amount you wish to donateand select the form of payment
5. All the money goes directly to Borneo Orangutan Survival Foundation account.

Thank you for your kind support, and for showing such passion for the animals and the environment.

God bless your heart, and wish me luck!

Aug 31, 2017

The First Cut is the Deepest

KM 1-10 was all about you Kak Wike. I thought of you and your family. Mostly your little boy Shalom. I had zero knowledge about nasopharyngeal cancer before and now when I see how you struggle with it, I can't help but to admire your strength and try to find a way to cheer you up. If only these Kms can contribute to your healing, I'll do it all over again.

KM 10-20, I was thinking about your work Mba Mimi. Your achievements in Journalism and how you spread news about Indonesia all over the world. When you were really ill with the devil virus a few months ago, I was... scared that we might lose you. Your energy and your intelligence are like no other. I am so happy you won this battle and stick around stronger.

KM 20-30
My peace gone down the hill here. I could not believe how slow I was and everything starting to hurt like mad. I cried a little. I Guess it's like a superstitious coincidence as I did think about when you were in a coma a few months ago, and how you use the word "embrace the pain" after your double mastectomy. Girl, that.was.heavy.
Here's my most slow and painful 10KM for your beautiful bravery Mba Fey. I wanted to curse breast cancer but I am remembered on how so full of acceptance you are about it so I did not.

KM 30-40
As cute as it sounds, Lupus annoys the S out of me especially because I know two people who has it. Seeing your battle Mba Sylviana makes me feel so inadequate the last 10KMs. I almost gave up when I could not feel my legs and hips! Your painful nights and unexplainable tiredness and pain were all I can think of. And I hope these can make you laugh a bit as I am sure it has nothing next to your journey.
You amazed me.

KM 41-42.195
For all of you who are at the moment having to go through critical illness, whose prayers are nothing more than about some clue to healing... me entering the finish line with all what's left in me... is for you. Also to Mba Fika Kansil.. don't give up...

God is Good.

#42195fortheirpain #fullmarathon #balimaratheroes #solagratia

Jun 2, 2017

Menyoal Hakikat Perempuan Sejati

Ini Siswi. Primadona nya Camp Leakey yang berlokasi di Tanjung Puting- Kalimantan Tengah.
Tanjung Puting (dan tiga camp didalamnya; Camp Leakey, Pondok Tanggui, Tanjung Harapan) adalah taman nasional dimana di dalam tiga camp tersebut, Orangutan yang sempat menjadi korban poaching pembakaran hutan direhabilitasi ulang oleh para rangers sebelum bisa dilepas kembali ke alam bebas. Tapi tulisan ini bukan hendak membahas mengenai tamaknya deforestrasi industri kelapa sawit. 

Itu nanti saja.

Tulisan ini, tentang perempuan.

Kenapa Siswi disebut primadona? Well, sebenarnya itu julukan si paruh baya ini dulu. Sebagai seorang perempuan… Siswi tergolong cantik dan menggairahkan. Buat para Orangutan tentu. 
Sifatnya yang percaya diri dan pesonanya menjadikan Siswi seorang alpha-female. Dan Siswi berhasil membuat King Tom (alpha male di Camp leakey bertekuk lutut)
Suatu hari, Siswi mengalami keguguran. Sejak itu diketahui bahwa Siswi memiliki tumor didekat rahimnya yang bisa berakibat fatal jika tidak segera dioperasi. Tim dokter ahli akhirnya didatangkan oleh Prof. Birute dan tim’nya. Menyelamatkan nyawa perempuan dahsyat ini, walau artinya mereka harus mengangkat rahim Siswi.

Setelah pulih, Siswi kembali ke hutan. 
Sayangnya, tanpa Siswi sangka, para Orangutan jantan tidak lagi melihat Siswi menggairahkan. 
Baunya beda, hormone yang dulu memikat sekarang sudah tidak tercium lagi. Siswi dianggap tak akan mampu menghasilkan keturunan lagi. Jadi buat apa didekati.
Harap dicatat; untuk bisa mendapatkan pengakuan sebagai “Pejantan sejati”, Orangutan jantan harus berhasil punya anak. Jadi naluri kebinatangan mereka bereaksi secara alamiah didalam hal ini. Nothing personal. It’s nature.
Ada manusia yang merasa? Silakan berhenti membaca tulisan saya.
Oh, dan terakhir saya kesana tahun lalu, Tom sedang dekat dengan Arya. Seorang Orangutan betina muda yang belum berusia 20 tahun dan masih subur pastinya.
Tersinggung? Kan saya sudah bilang, berhenti membaca tulisan ini….

Akhirnya, Siswi jadi lebih sering berteman dengan para rangers di hutan. 
Makanya, mudah sekali bertemu dengan Siswi kalau kita berkunjung ke Camp Leakey. Karena dia sering duduk di dermaga. Siswi agak nyentrik, bahkan sering dibilang biang kerok. Karena selalu mengikuti cara hidup para rangers disana; suka ikut mandi, minta teh, sok bantu benerin jembatan, atau mengganggu tamu dengan ulahnya. Yang terjadi didepan mata saya saat itu; Siswi harus dirayu pakai payung supaya mau bergeser dari dermaga. Supaya saya dan teman-teman lain bisa lewat dan naik ke perahu kelotok.

Lucu? Mungkin.
Tapi, sebagai seorang skeptic sejati… saya justru merasa sedih. 
Siswi merasa ditolak, jadilah ia pencari perhatian kelas berat. 
Siswi merasa tidak cantik lagi, jadilah dia galak sama perempuan lain. Terutama sama siapa tebak? Yes, Arya!

Saat ini, mungkin kalian berpikir saya seperti sedang membahas mengenai teman-teman manusia. Bukan, ini purely Orangutan. Yang punya kesamaan genetic 97% dengan kita.
Makes so much more sense now?
Yang bisa saya syukuri, Siswi tetap sehat. Dia akan selalu aman dan bahagia disana. Animal Instinct yang membuat para orangutan jantan tidak mau sama Siswi lagi adalah proses alam yang tak bisa diubah.

Tapi, bagaimana dengan nasib saudara-saudara perempuan Siswi yang lain (yang punya kesamaan genetic sebanyak 97%)?
Alias manusia.
Bagaimana jika seorang perempuan (manusia) hanya dianggap sempurna jika Ia berhasil menghadirkan manusia-manusia kecil kedunia ini lewat rahimnya? Padahal ia tidak bisa.
Bagaimana jika 3% dari ketidaksamaan itu membuat si perempuan punya logika yang justru berbeda
“Saya tidak mau punya anak.” Karena (mau adopsi/tidak mau saja/takut melahirkan/dunia sudah edan/my body my rule)

Apakah pilihan-pilihan itu akan menjadikan posisi perempuan jadi sama seperti Siswi? Dianggap tak berguna. Di judge tak memenuhi kodrat. Disingkirkan alam?
Sehingga harus sering main-main sendirian di dermaga.
Atau justru lebih buruk?

Dihina di lingkungan, diceraikan, dianggap aneh. Terutama oleh perempuan lain yang sibuk adu argumentasi mengenai pentingnya ASI versus susu formula. Akhirnya para perempuan ini cuma bisa diam.
Entah mau mengutuki rahim dan kelamin atau justru mempertanyakan kehendak Tuhannya.

Kembali ke Siswi. Yang buat saya adalah tetap perempuan sejati.
Apakah Siswi punya pilihan lain? Selain ya sesekali judesin Arya.
Apa Siswi bisa nulis blog atau bikin campaign soal #rewritetherules atau soal #feminisme?
Tapi paling tidak… dibatas pemikirannya yang tak se”mulia” manusia, Siswi bisa berdamai dengan kehidupannya sekarang. Toh, ranger malah sering memanjakannya. Siswi juga tak harus berpikir soal “Siapa yang akan mengurusnya saat tua nanti.”

Para perempuan lain?

Akhir tahun ini, kalau Tuhan dan semesta mengijinkan, saya akan bertemu Siswi lagi.
Mungkin akan berusaha menatap matanya walau tak bisa terlalu dekat.
A homo sapiens and a Pongo pygmaeus.
But eye to eye. Woman to woman.

Mungkin Siswi bisa menularkan kekuatannya kepada saya karena sebagai sesama perempuan, Siswi dan saya sama-sama pernah keguguran.

Mungkin akan ada sepercik sinar kebijakan di dalam jiwa Siswi yang bisa saya serap dan pelajari.

Untuk kemudian saya bagi untuk perempuan lain di dermaga lain atau lelaki yang tidak akan pernah bisa sejantan King Tom.
Atau pada diri saya sendiri.

Tressabel Hutasoit-  
Homo sapiens-

May 31, 2017

Go Tressabel

Just want to share this video blog published by Air Asia as their support for Maybank Bali Marathon Heroes.
I am so blessed.

Click here: Go Tressabel!

42195 for their pain

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