Aug 31, 2017

The First Cut is the Deepest



KM 1-10 was all about you Kak Wike. I thought of you and your family. Mostly your little boy Shalom. I had zero knowledge about nasopharyngeal cancer before and now when I see how you struggle with it, I can't help but to admire your strength and try to find a way to cheer you up. If only these Kms can contribute to your healing, I'll do it all over again.

KM 10-20, I was thinking about your work Mba Mimi. Your achievements in Journalism and how you spread news about Indonesia all over the world. When you were really ill with the devil virus a few months ago, I was... scared that we might lose you. Your energy and your intelligence are like no other. I am so happy you won this battle and stick around stronger.

KM 20-30
My peace gone down the hill here. I could not believe how slow I was and everything starting to hurt like mad. I cried a little. I Guess it's like a superstitious coincidence as I did think about when you were in a coma a few months ago, and how you use the word "embrace the pain" after your double mastectomy. Girl, that.was.heavy.
Here's my most slow and painful 10KM for your beautiful bravery Mba Fey. I wanted to curse breast cancer but I am remembered on how so full of acceptance you are about it so I did not.


KM 30-40
As cute as it sounds, Lupus annoys the S out of me especially because I know two people who has it. Seeing your battle Mba Sylviana makes me feel so inadequate the last 10KMs. I almost gave up when I could not feel my legs and hips! Your painful nights and unexplainable tiredness and pain were all I can think of. And I hope these can make you laugh a bit as I am sure it has nothing next to your journey.
You amazed me.


KM 41-42.195
For all of you who are at the moment having to go through critical illness, whose prayers are nothing more than about some clue to healing... me entering the finish line with all what's left in me... is for you. Also to Mba Fika Kansil.. don't give up...
 

God is Good.
 

#42195fortheirpain #fullmarathon #balimaratheroes #solagratia

Jun 2, 2017

Menyoal Hakikat Perempuan Sejati

Ini Siswi. Primadona nya Camp Leakey yang berlokasi di Tanjung Puting- Kalimantan Tengah.
Tanjung Puting (dan tiga camp didalamnya; Camp Leakey, Pondok Tanggui, Tanjung Harapan) adalah taman nasional dimana di tiga camp tersebut, orangutan yang sempat menjadi korban trafficking direhabilitasi ulang oleh para ranger sebelum bisa dilepas kembali ke alam bebas. Tapi tulisan ini bukan hendak membahas mengenai brengsek dan tamaknya deforestrasi industri kelapa sawit. Itu nanti saja.

Tulisan ini, tentang perempuan.


Kenapa Siswi disebut primadona? Well, sebenarnya itu julukan si paruh baya ini dulu. Sebagai seorang perempuan… siswi tergolong cantik dan menggairahkan. Buat para orangutan tentu. Sifatnya yang percaya diri dan pesonanya menjadikan Siswi seorang alpha-female. Dan Siswi berhasil membuat King Tom (alpha male di Camp leakey bertekuk lutut)
Suatu hari, Siswi mengalami keguguran. Sejak itu diketahui bahwa Siswi memiliki tumor didekat rahimnya yang bisa berakibat fatal jika tidak segera dioperasi. Tim dokter ahli akhirnya didatangkan oleh Prof. Birute dan tim’nya. Menyelamatkan nyawa perempuan dahsyat ini…walau artinya mereka harus mengangkat rahim Siswi.


Setelah pulih, Siswi kembali ke hutan. Sayangnya, tanpa Siswi sangka, para Orangutan jantan tidak lagi melihat Siswi menggairahkan. Baunya beda, hormone yang dulu memikat sekarang sudah tidak tercium lagi. Siswi dianggap tak akan mampu menghasilkan keturunan lagi. Jadi buat apa didekati.
Harap dicatat; untuk bisa mendapatkan pengakuan sebagai “Pejantan sejati”, orangutan jantan harus berhasil punya anak. Jadi naluri kebinatangan mereka bereaksi secara alamiah didalam hal ini. Nothing personal. It’s nature.
Ada manusia yang merasa? Silakan berhenti membaca tulisan saya.
Oh, dan terakhir saya kesana tahun lalu, Tom lagi pacaran sama Arya. Seorang Orangutan betina muda yang belum berusia 20 tahun dan masih subur pastinya.
Tersinggung? Kan saya sudah bilang, berhenti membaca tulisan ini….


Akhirnya, Siswi jadi lebih sering berteman dengan para ranger. Makanya, mudah sekali bertemu dengan Siswi kalau kita berkunjung ke Camp Leakey. Karena dia sering duduk di dermaga. Siswi agak nyentrik, bahkan sering dibilang biang kerok. Karena selalu mengikuti cara hidup para ranger disana; suka ikut mandi, minta teh, sok bantu benerin jembatan, atau mengganggu tamu dengan ulahnya. Yang terjadi didepan mata saya saat itu; Siswi harus dirayu pakai payung supaya mau minggir dari dermaga. Supaya saya dan teman-teman lain bisa lewat dan naik ke perahu kelotok.


Lucu? Mungkin.
Tapi, sebagai seorang skeptic sejati… saya justru merasa sedih. Siswi merasa ditolak, jadilah ia pencari perhatian kelas berat. Siswi merasa tidak cantik lagi, jadilah dia galak sama perempuan lain. Terutama sama siapa tebak? Yes, Arya!
Saat ini, mungkin kalian berpikir saya seperti sedang membahas mengenai teman-teman manusia. Bukan, ini purely orangutan. Yang punya kesamaan genetic 97% dengan kita.
Makes so much more sense now?
Yang bisa saya syukuri, Siswi tetap sehat. Dia akan selalu aman dan bahagia disana. Animal Instinct yang membuat para orangutan jantan tidak mau sama Siswi lagi adalah proses alam yang tak bisa diubah.


Tapi, bagaimana dengan nasib saudara-saudara perempuan Siswi yang lain (yang punya kesamaan genetic sebanyak 97%)?
Alias manusia.
Bagaimana jika seorang perempuan (manusia) hanya dianggap sempurna jika Ia berhasil menghadirkan manusia-manusia kecil kedunia ini lewat rahimnya? Padahal ia tidak bisa.
Bagaimana jika 3% dari ketidaksamaan itu membuat si perempuan punya logika yang justru berbeda
“Saya tidak mau punya anak.” Karena (mau adopsi/tidak mau saja/takut melahirkan/dunia sudah edan/my body my rule)


Apakah pilihan-pilihan itu akan menjadikan posisi perempuan jadi sama seperti Siswi? Dianggap tak berguna. Di judge tak memenuhi kodrat. Disingkirkan alam?
Sehingga harus sering main-main sendirian di dermaga.
Atau justru lebih buruk?
Dihina di lingkungan, diceraikan, dianggap aneh. Terutama oleh perempuan lain yang sibuk adu argumentasi mengenai pentingnya ASI versus Susu formula. Akhirnya para perempuan ini cuma bisa diam.
Entah mau mengutuki rahim dan kelamin atau justru mempertanyakan Tuhannya.


Kembali ke Siswi. Yang buat saya adalah tetap perempuan sejati.
Apakah Siswi punya pilihan lain? Selain ya sesekali judesin Arya.
Apa Siswi bisa nulis blog atau bikin campaign soal #rewritetherules atau soal #feminisme?
Tidak.
Tapi paling tidak… dibatas pemikirannya yang tak se”mulia” manusia, Siswi bisa berdamai dengan kehidupannya sekarang. Toh, ranger malah sering memanjakannya. Siswi juga tak harus berpikir soal “Siapa yang akan mengurusnya saat tua nanti.”
Perempuan lain?.....


Akhir tahun ini, kalau Tuhan dan semesta mengijinkan, saya akan bertemu Siswi lagi.
Mungkin akan berusaha menatap matanya walau tak bisa terlalu dekat.
A homo sapiens and a Pongo pygmaeus.
But eye to eye. Woman to woman.
Mungkin Siswi bisa menularkan kekuatannya kepada saya karena sebagai sesama perempuan, Siswi dan saya sama-sama pernah keguguran.
Mungkin akan ada sepercik sinar kebijakan di dalam jiwa Siswi yang bisa saya serap dan pelajari.
Untuk kemudian saya bagi untuk perempuan lain di dermaga lain atau lelaki yang tidak akan pernah bisa sejantan King Tom.
Atau pada diri saya sendiri.


xoxo
Tressabel Hutasoit-  
Homo sapiens-

May 31, 2017

Go Tressabel

Just want to share this video blog published by Air Asia as their support for Maybank Bali Marathon Heroes.
I am so blessed.

Click here: Go Tressabel!

42195 for their pain
 

May 24, 2017

Counting Stars

The past two months, I feel like life has been trying to redirect me. Career wise. And it has been an energy-draining process. What I am going through with the Marathon campaign is amazing. I cannot feel grateful enough! And it is also a reminder of what I actually should be doing with my life. To do something that actually contributing differences and meanings to the world.
No matter how small.

But again, as a big time worrier, I resort to what I see as a safe zone.

To avoid myself ended up in an angry and bitter stage, I listen to this song over and over again. I learned about the meaning of this song exactly three years ago, and been using it as a mantra when career life is giving me the real challenge.

It is about to let go things you cannot control, and be smart in picking up your battles. 
You just have to be open and willing to look for those joys in life and embrace them.
There's always something to learn from.
Stars = blessings. So count your blessings and remember that which is important in life.

"And I don’t think the world is sold / I’m just doing what we’re told. “I feel something so right / By doing the wrong thing / And I feel something so wrong / By doing the right thing / I couldn’t lie, couldn’t lie, couldn’t lie / Everything that kills me makes me feel alive.”

What's your work-life-challenge mantra?
 




 

Apr 16, 2017

Maybank Bali Marathon 2017

A few weeks ago, Maybank Bali Marathon announced that they are looking for three runners to be Bali Marathon Heroes. The objective is to give those three official training program (aside from running kit and a GPS watch!) so that their stories can inspire others. 
You were asked to upload a 60 second video explaining the reason "Why should you be selected."
This is my take; Tressabel's Road to MBM2017 - that I submitted for "The Upgrader" category (One who wants to do his or her first ever Full Marathon) if you want to have a look.

After the committee contacted me to arrange an interview via Skype, I could not sleep for two days! But all I ever think about was my four friends who have been struggling hard with terminal illness. And I can only hope, the next coming weeks of training will "entertain" them enough to believe that there are people out there who care. No matter how hard the training will be, I know it's nothing compare to what they are dealing with.

This post is to announce how grateful I am to be selected. The road will be tough as the Race Director told me "A Full Marathon is a world away from a Half Marathon. But I wont' spill you all the surprises."
And I trust him. 

Prayers, please beautiful people. For me, and most especially the four friends of mine who have promised me that "We will be watching."

To God be the glory.



Congratulations to all of our #RoadtoMBM2017 finalists! Thank you for all of your effort and enthusiasm, it is uplifting to see a group of runners who are passionate about the sport, about pushing their limits, and about helping others. We are excited to be part of your #MBM2017 journey and we can't wait to see you on the starting line.
It was very difficult for the committee to decide on only three #MBM2017 hero, but after many deliberations the selection has been confirmed. They were selected because of their self-discipline, drive, passion for others, and single-minded commitment to a cause.
Runners, please welcome the #MBM2017 hero:
The Starter : @irwinpermata
The Upgrader : @tressabelhutasoit
The Elite : @iq3aladil

Apr 15, 2017

One too many voices

Have you ever been in the biggest dilemma of all in your life? If yes, were there too many loud voices inside your head that makes you even more confused?
How do you pick one that's  the best for you?
Mari Andrew's illustration below describes it perfectly here. 
I have been very well, but this inner voice has been screaming telling me to "Stop trying to talk yourself out of your true calling."

Then the endless "What ifs" and "But..." starting to flow.




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