From these moments, we awake. Our heads clear of the mistakes. How we never hit the breaks, or felt it stalling. Just don't stumble through tonight. Have no fear of falling. No don't stumble through tonight...
A wit from a father to his daughter I heard maybe 15 years ago. I get it now.
"Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. I say, fall head over heels. Find someone you can love like crazy and who will love you the same way back. How do you find him? Well, you forget your head, and you listen to your heart. And I'm not hearing any heart. Cause the truth is, honey, there's no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love, well, you haven't lived a life at all. But you have to try, cause if you haven't tried, you haven't lived. Stay open, who knows? Lightning could strike."
Am I getting closer to where I want to be? The
answer is, yes. Baby steps, but a new trail is in the making. Not a
marvelous or triumphant victory, but I have won by being so sure of what
I am doing, and the move I have made.
May God's grace stay within me. While I am taking one mental note on this one:
"Unicorns are everywhere. Jut waiting to be released...." Thank you, ADL.
You did not make fun of me ordering that purple-colored soda that's basically a can of sugar. You even ordered one for yourself. That's strange. You're basically a kid... like me.
The story from one of my favorite book, how the character would go on after the last page, I never mentioned that wonder to anyone else before...
But to you, I kinda feel safe as you might wonder about the same thing.
"Movie... what's going to happen to Private Ryan's mother?" I asked... You did not think my question was weird. Maybe because you are also the same kinda weird as me.
Hold on... I have been here... smelly vinyl store, with you. No pretending. Old book store, new ones. Enjoy being alone and together in between aisles.
I got you that pencil that you paid for. Like a girl in a crush.
Me thinking that you got more truffle butter on your steak... I know I was making non-sense, you did too. But you let me have some of yours anyway.
I have met you before, I know that.
Sometime, somewhere. In a different life and or form.
Otherwise, there's no way I can easily enjoy being next to you for days every single second... not worrying how you would think of me.
"You have seen me doing this before... " That's what I thought.
And you, hugging me from behind as am about to brush my teeth. You in white robe. Confirming our mutual feelings as if discussing what I want for breakfast.
I have seen you doing that before. And damn sure as hell, I will see you doing that again. Hugging me from behind as I am about to brush my teeth, different question, much more comfortable robe. Different mirror in different bath.
I cannot change the painful-bitter fact that we did not get to know
each-other... and that I did not even get to see your face, or hear you laugh and sing with you.
But, my angel baby, I know we will meet eventually.
And before that day, I
have things to say to you. Things that maybe you already knew...
Sunshine is one of my favorite thing
in the world. When it shines, its warmth touches you like a soft kiss from the
I imagined having you on my lap and
we can just shower under the rays, I will tell you stories my grandparents used to
tell me, we can share ice cream if you like. My favorite flavors are;
Pistachio, Hazelnut, Coffee, and a combination of them three.
We will read together, day and night. I will allow you to pick your own clothes everyday.There will be one room in the house where the walls are erected for you to color. However you like it.
Also, I am telling you... we will always have dogs. You will like their company.
I do not like Italian food. And I always... always have a bad hand writing. I
hope that does not get to you:). The handwriting, I mean.
I love the beach. And everything
that it brings. Oh, how I wish I can tell you what the smell of the ocean
likes, and how the waves make instrumental sound I think originally made
Or, maybe you already knew?
There are days when I miss you so badly. I will cry and laugh at the same time.
I mean, how can you miss someone you never actually met? Why is that even
I bet you have a dark as the night hair. You got it from me. I am not sure on
how you look like when you smile... I am aching in wonder just thinking
Did I regret not having you? Angel baby... I do. I regret everything that we
did not get to experience together.
I regret that I did not even have a chance
to hear you cry or be there for you when your heart is broken. Regret that
there will be no sleepless nights over books and movies and your endless questions about birds, and clouds and love and God.
But this bigger force that is beyond
my understanding is now holding you. And somewhere in my heart I know, that is
where you belong.
Until the day your eyes and mine will struck for the first
and very last time.
Mutual first love, is what I am guessing to happen.
This is my "not a farewell note" to my colleagues at "The Place of Refuge". The content is self-explanatory.
were meant to stay in one place, we'd have roots instead of feet.”
- Rachel Wolchin. (Longer legs,
and a Chinese-princess’ feet, that's what I’d like to have if one could
But I am thankful for having a healthy pair that’s now ready to move on. It
has been an enthralling two and a half years, I am genuinely saying. That
experience made me realize that I have to learn some more elsewhere while at
the same time sharing what I have gained over the past time from each and everyone
of you.I will always define AYANA & RIMBA as world-class product. But your
friendship, your amazing team-work and leadership are the main core of it. All
in all, the essence is YOU!
I am proud to carry its legacy on my resume and hope that I have left some
values with you too. This is just my last day here at AYANA/RIMBA and it does
not mean the same to our friendship.