Again on Chivalry

I received a beautiful card today. Just cause. But it reminds me why I am loved by him. Not that I need a reminder, but it gives such warm fuzzy feeling to know that one would actually invest time in picking the right card, picture, and carefully jot a personalized message, just for me.

For years, I have come across as a cold, reserved (sometimes), twisted (thank you, really) lady. And only few people can really get to see my soft spot. A big portion of pie chart may be categorized as my level of feminism. And most people think feminist hate men. WRONG. We adore them, and we expect so much of them, hence, us not wanting to settle easily.

We all know that years ago, we have discussed about chivalry here (yes, including what music you listen to and your shoes), and again in this post. We even talked about what we expect from your attire in this post. So that, should tell you how much we like men!
As a ...ahem, feminist, I would easily take note on your kindness and.... the nearly extinct manners labeled as chivalry, miss translated by swags as "Lame old fashioned."
Keep doing things below, please. And inherit them to your children.

Sending flowers.

This act has been labeled as romantic and downright cheesy. But let us try look at it this way: we send flowers to say thank you, houses of statesman send them as a celebratory and appreciation gesture, sympathy and message of "I am sorry I cannot be there for you but I am thinking of you." is represented in white lilies. It is Mother's Day, Valentine's, someone you know is losing a family member, your brother's first house, your parent's anniversary, your wife's first boutique opening.

It is not only about romanticism. And only certain fellows of mankind can appreciate it that way. 

And for those swags that say "Meh, we do not do that lame stuff.", well.. we get it. Flowers are far more expensive than the price of your hair gel, after shave and mouth wash combined.

Opening Doors.

When my (look like a swag but actually is the sweetest lad) brother did this for me, I said to him; "Thank you. Never forget this manner." Because, honestly, not many of guys would do the same. On the other side, how many of us ladies (or gents) would actually pause for a second to say "Thank you.", when someone hold the elevator door for you?
As for you, guy I am no longer seeing, yes... it was because you did not hold the taxi door open for me.

Never shake someone's hand sitting down.

Yes, you already are enjoying your meal when your friend's relative come over to the table. But stand up, firm shake the person's hand and introduce your name. He may be younger, or older. But you do not have time to analyze that. Your pasta is getting cold.

Pulls out chair and gives up seat.

I never forget that day when a gay dude (yes I am sure) gave me his seat while waiting for our table to be ready. I was standing next to the bar, all stools occupied. Only that gentleman stood up. I think he knew that Obama did it, Keanu did it. And I gave him my most sincere smile and a "Thank you." before sitting down, not forgetting to give my "I could kill you with my brain" look to the rest of the guys who just stare at us.

Speak in such soft-spoken manner.
We all should have zero tolerance towards men and women talking in such harsh and nasty way. Racism, cockiness, insecurity covered in "tough act/rude way of talking" are things I can smell from miles away. Sssshhhh....

Ps: To shave or not to shave :-)

What I See in Men

There will be another post with "What I see in..." in the title. Here's my maiden one. Bear in mind this is just the top of the iceberg. I refrain myself to bring the cards of honesty, accountable and all other heavy stuffs to the table.

Let's just talk about the little things which are just as important:

Truth be told. I see (and most likely judge) your sense of music. I mean it big time. There's nothing more fascinating than finding someone with richer knowledge in music and know all of the songs from the years we were not yet even born (and you are not some radio DJ or some sort).

If you like The Cure, The Roots, David Bowie, Jack Johnson, Ben Harper and The Smiths, you might be qualified to be considered as 'Dating Material".

Oh, there were times when I had a big crush on RHCP. So, knowing a thing or two about them might score some brownie points too. Your reading habit? Please do not make me go there :)

Your shoes. Man, you can go to modest with your shirt. But a real gentleman should appreciate their feet.

Your effort in appreciating your woman. We do not always have the energy to keep the house clean, but gawd knows we try! So, fixing your own breakfast on weekends while you are giving us an extra 30 minutes of sleep is priceless.

How you treat animals. Most especially dogs. Once you cringe to my excessive love towards them, you are out of the picture.

  

What about you ladies?

But no 'all day long wearing suits' necessary

And... Gentleman

No funny t-shirt, please

Time to post something for our fine gentlemen readers!

Let me tell you this dude.. You can be cute without wearing this "funny" shirt. Really. We understand your feeling towards a mama's jeans... kinda make sense, thus we toss them away. Far far away.
Why no funny t-shirt? Well... it makes you look like you are not well literate, rude and corny in a very ugly sense. Like mama's jeans can be a turn off, this one is an assassin.

So this one is from us... You guys can let this one go. Away. Far far away.

from heydude

Chivalry is (not) dead

Dear gentlemen, you do not need to ride horses and be in a shining armor. There are other ways of showing chivalry:

Open the door for us. Not because we are a lady but because you are a gentleman. 
Pull the chair. It makes you look classy even when you are not wearing a designer label suit. Pay for dinner ,  and say yes when we offer you a cup of coffee or ice cream from that place by the corner- on us. 
Know (and actually watch) at least one black and white movie, listen to James Taylor, the Beach Boys. Or both. 
Dance. No, not the twist you do after shots of tequila or jugs of beer and you do not have to be as magnificent as Fred Astaire. Somewhere in the middle works. Tho, do NOT pout.

Show passion in what you do. Never joke about a woman's look in front of other woman. If you really have to, do it with your crowd and we will pretend that we don't care. Yep, pretend.

Be a good listener. Be on time. 
Always wear a pair of good shoes. 
Make that call. Cut the crap. Send us flowers.
Be well educated, articulate, literate, soft spoken.

And before you realize it,  you will have a real lady in your arms.