On Dating. In Bali

Not once has Yours Truly ever been hit on in a club, been offered a parasol in exchange for my digits at the beach, or even experienced a bit of office romance since moving to Bali nine years ago. Not once.
 
Are the words “Go Away!” stamped on my forehead?

Photo from 2011, when celebrating one year in Bali

But we are talking about this why?

With its pristine beaches, captivating sunsets, cliff-side restaurants, and exotic spa getaways, Bali oozes romance. And being one of the world’s top wedding destinations, and a melting pot of people from around the world, one cannot help but dream. So does this make the dating scene better in Bali?

Wistfully, there are still stereotypes. More often than not, locals who date foreigners are labeled as gold diggers, if not bed-warmers in search of a meal ticket. When one of them truly strikes gold, they receive an “emotional” Chanel handbag every Christmas.

I am always asked by taxi drivers “Is your husband a white guy?” when dropping me off in front of my humble house. They do not mean to be rude, it is simply because our society forces people to accept only one scenario: only women married to an expat can afford their own home.

My answers to such questions vary. From lying to them by saying “yes” to cut the conversation short, to lecturing a driver, who happened to be a young woman. In my defence, we cannot let a young blood believe that is what Indonesian women are all about. Because it is not.

There are many stories confirming this prejudice, but there are many decent men and women who are well brought-up, financially independent, and who wouldn’t expect only material things from their lover.

People often come to Bali simply for a change in their work-life balance, that does not involve shopping malls, or over-spending their hard-earned money at coffee shops waiting for the traffic jam to ease.

It is a two-way street for sure as apparently men are being labeled too; backpackers, surfers, the new-age-raw-organic-hippie-with a man-bun, or the sleek, sophisticated and cultured looking expat.

Each and every stereotype follows a certain template. Which just like women, is often inaccurate.

The only way to deal with dating’s dilemmas, is to be open and discuss these topics before it becomes serious.

The good news is that Bali’s dating life is indeed interesting and varied. From young surfers to senior citizens, globetrotters to restaurant owners, and good-looking chefs to (nearly) famous DJs.

There is probably someone on the Island of the Gods that you can party with, witness sunsets at Bali’s famous beach clubs, or do off-the-beaten-track adventures 
with. Depending on your personality, hobbies and activities, and where you like to hang, you will eventually meet that one person you are comfortable being with.

I learned all of the above the hard way; people watching, and pretending to be a good agony aunt when friends’ romantic relationships go south.

Only one thing is for sure. Whether the dating turns into a serious relationship and that grows into a marriage you can never be certain. But the Island of the Gods will always have a special place in your heart for your next love story.

I swiped right for Bali and haven’t looked back.

Kissing the shoreline

I just think quote is so beautiful.
*Kissing.

So we ramble

Two years and counting!

Last year, at this time of the month, 2 of my sisters, mom, and grandma were here in Bali for a holiday. We had some serious fun. My goofy sister Detri said that the best place she like the most is this bar that is located in a resort that I took them to. Funny enough, I just wrote  a post about a few new drinks the liquid chefs at Detri's fave bar created. Why? Oh, nothing… It’s just that I am now in charge for the PR/Communications department for that lovely… lovely place of refuge .

To have a more convenient commute from home-work-home, I moved into another place. A bit bigger and has nicer facilities, with the same price. Good for me. Privacy? Yes. Alone? Yes.  When I read an article at The New York Times about "The Freedom, and Perils of Living Alone" , I could not stop smiling.  To this day, I still have all the perks to work my way and run the clock in and around my little casa. I have been doing it since I graduated from high-school. It gives me a good enough of space to be on my own yet at the same time, it also makes my relationship with my family a lot closer. I cannot explain how that works but it does. 

The biggest part about the past 2 years is that I learned to let go of the past and move on. I did. It is so freeing to know that when you have come into an acceptance, you have a smoother path to keep going with a lighter heart. I got healed. I have a closer relationship with God than ever before. I cannot thank Him enough for showing me how much I am adored and loved, no matter what. And not even the darkest part of my life comes into the equation.  He loves me because of what He is, not because of what I have done. People admire me because of what I am giving and doing to my family , but to tell you the truth… I am nothing without them. The fact that I am blessed with the ability to do that is just one of God’s way of using me as a blessing channel and I will gladly keep doing it as long as He is on my side. Tressabel Hutasoit is just a tiny part of His master plan. (I got all teary as I typed this down…but this is true) It is hard for me to stop bragging about His love tho’ so I hope you understand.

I still dream about being a mother. I still am the same person who will cry with you during cartoon movies and keep the lights on all night long after a horror movie. Talk to me about politics; I will still roll my eyes. Ask me out for a good food; I will be-friend you for life. I am still the same person… only, happier :).  If you go to a secluded beach in the southern part of Bali, you may see me under the parasol with a magazine on my nose. 
And who knows… someday, I will have my baby and the love of my life with me.

On a lighter note; I look a lot darker now, gained a few pounds (thank you, suckling pig),I have shorter hair and a more casual-quirky look. All that fits into my way of living in a tropical island. I do not think I know how to walk on high heels anymore :)) I still listen to the same music, still read To Kill a Mockingbird cover to cover for the hundredth of time (I just love it!), still glued to festival movies and cartoons, and stays as a caffeine addict. 

Thank you for putting up with me through these times. I will keep on writing (oh, my superior at work is a brilliant journalist so I am learning a lot from her!) and keep you in the loop with big-small happenings that is worth wandering for. 

God bless.

I took this photo, exactly 2 years ago.

Three's a Charm ; Beach

Here are the top 3 pictures I like (from this afternoon at the beach :))

I secretly named him Bingo

The Blogger

Three kites flying over three coconut trees :)

Sisterly Weekend

Volent (my sister) was here last weekend. We had some serious fun time by the beach- it was a sunny day , serious food at some recommended restaurants and a beach club here in Bali, serious girl talk.. well, women.. and we got to laugh and cry a little too. These are some pictures from the day. Will share some more later. Xoxo.

at a cozy pasta bistro; warung italia

the so called potato head

bali collection

the guilty pleasure treat

Say it Beach!

There are many many reasons why living in this island is such a blessings for me. The top reason is how close I reside with one of the most beautiful beach in Bali. A 10 minutes of easy walk. The breeze, the smell of the ocean, the sound of the waves. Everything. I can sit there for hours, watching birds,  little crabs crawling, and just be with the nature. Well, I have said enough. But I will not get enough of these...