Be Still and Know

 

Photo from our first staycation in Bali where we get to bring Marilyn and Nugget!

“Sudah ya, kau kurang-kurangilah keras kepalamu,” terdengar dari setidaknya lima orang keluarga dan kerabat dekat. Ditujukan kepada saya, di hari pernikahan saya dan Yovan.

Saat orang keenam berbicara hal serupa, raut wajah Yovan mulai tegang. What did I get myself into? Mungkin itu pikirnya. Tetapi petugas catatan sipil sudah rapi melipat berkasnya. 

Saya tidak tersinggung. Apalagi yang bicara itu memang orang-orang yang sudah terbukti mengasihi saya. Juga, karena yang mereka katakan benar adanya. 

Namun, ada satu komentar yang tidak disampaikan langsung, “She got married? Wow. Salut to the man; she’s difficult.” Saya tidak marah, walau dalam hati mengumpat kepada si komentator “Maybe because you are easy?” 

Nah, soal keras tadi. Karena sadar akan kebenaran pesan dari keluarga, saya berusaha menjadi lebih baik. How’s it going so far? Hanya Yovan yang tahu. Juga anjing-anjing kami yang sudah paham betul peranan Good Cop-Bad Cop di rumah. You know who’s who. Rasanya sih, kalau mau pamer sedikit, saya sudah tidak sekeras dulu. 

Lucunya, di masa ini, pernikahan kami justru sedang menuntut saya untuk sedikit menerapkan sifat keras kepala itu tadi. Tapi, beda penerapannya. 

Keras kepala sekarang berarti lebih yakin akan penyertaan Tuhan di masa yang luar biasa penuh tekanan (Isaiah 43:2) . 

Keras kepala yang artinya patuh, terutama soal memaafkan saat kami secara sengaja dilukai (Colossians 3:13) .Keras kepala yang tunduk pada kedisiplinan untuk tetap membaca firman dan melakukannya (James 1:22, Luke 22:28) saat suara dunia justru terdengar lebih menjanjikan dan orang-orang berlabel “orang gereja” semakin terlihat kekejiannya. Don’t even get me started with that series on Netflix.

Terutama, keras kepala yang tidak suam-suam kuku dalam mengakui Tuhan Yesus dalam setiap keputusan dan perbuatan.  

Dan ternyata, teman… ini jauh lebih sulit daripada melembutkan hati. Atau mungkin, urutannya harus demikian? One has to have a teachable heart to be transformed, yes (Psalm 119:34)? 

Luar biasa rasanya melawan segala kedagingan, mencoba menjadi teladan, dan tetap percaya bahwa rancangan-Nya bukanlah rancangan kejahatan (Jeremiah 29:11)

If so, I am not turning back even when my walks are sometimes wobbly. We are not yielding to temptation because we made a promise that day: Jesus is the center of our life (Proverbs 3:6). 

And when the reality isn’t too bleak someday soon, we can talk about the series I mentioned earlier. Just not today.

My 10th Full Marathon

Last Sunday, I took my 10th Marathon medal home and the joy tenfolds because it's also my first one after #acdfsurgery .

Result wise, my latest Marathon wouldn't make the headline. I could actually label it as personal bad, haha!

But the preparation this year was something else. 
It's a testimony about how God is bringing us through the dark.
I had to stay focused on my training plan when everything around us felt like trying to eat us alive. Yovan must be the stronger pillar when he himself needs a shoulder to hold on. (Thanks to strength training, lol!)
So I am declaring this small yet magnificent victory for You alone, our Lord Jesus Christ.
#marathon
#42km
To the Matriarchs, Runi and Alex, thank you for being there under the sun and cheering my arrival on.
To the biggest supporter from day one, Yovan, I am grateful for you ❤️

To the Matriarchs, Runi and Alex, thank you for being there under the sun and cheering my arrival on.

Sepatu Bapak: Sebuah refleksi atas tindakan persekusi terhadap kaum transpuan

Jika teman-teman punya 3 menit untuk diluangkan, sekiranya sempat melihat video saya dengan mengikuti tautan ini. 

Click to watch reels

𝗦𝗲𝗽𝗮𝘁𝘂 𝗕𝗮𝗽𝗮𝗸

Kemarin Bapak janji mau menemani beli sepatu
Karena sebentar lagi
Mau tahun ajaran baru

Sepatuku sudah bunyi-bunyi
Karena alasnya telah lebar menganga
Plak.. pluk… plak… pluk
Begitu kata si sepatu tanpa merek itu

Pokoknya harus jadi beli
Begitu ujarku
 
Sudah pukul tiga petang
Bapak belum juga terlihat bersiap pergi
Padahal aku sudah mandi

Besok saja
Kata Bapak, membuat bibirku manyun tiga senti
Bapak malu ke toko sepatu

Alasannya
Sambil menyeka dahi dengan handuk basah
Ada luka disana
Di dahinya yang lebar seperti dahiku

Tapi besok kan tokonya tutup Pak
Dan lusa aku sudah masuk sekolah
Aku mulai merengek
Masak iya aku pinjam sepatu Bapak?

Bapak tertawa
Tahu jelas maksudku sepatu yang mana
Sepatu warna merah menyala yang hak nya tinggi sekali

Mana nyaman dipakai sekolah
Walau ukuran kaki kita sama
Bapak bergurau
Saking besarnya kakiku

Aku ikut tergelak
Urung merajuk
Luluh sudah marahku melihat dahi bonyok Bapak
Yang nampak menyatu dengan sisa riasannya tadi malam

Lagipula, tinggal yang kiri sepatuku itu
Kata Bapak sambil mengelus kepangku
Aku diam saja

Kasihan sama Bapak sepatunya tinggal sebelah
Tapi senang karena alasan sepatunya yang sebelah hilang
Adalah karena dilempar Bapak
Membalas gerombolan lelaki sialan
Yang menimpuk bapak dan teman-temannya dengan batu
Saat semalam cari uang di jalan

Sepatu yang kanan ya pak yang hilang?
Aku memastikan
Iya, jawab Bapak tenang

Semoga kena orangnya ya Pak
dan semoga lukanya lebih parah dari luka di dahi Bapak
Doaku
Cukup dalam hati

Karena aku tahu, Bapak tak akan mengaminkan
💔👠🤍

Oleh Tressabel Hutasoit
(Ditulis pada tahun 2022 dan sayangnya masih relevan saat ini)

@tressabelhutasoit
@sukkhacitta
@awesomelasem

Happy Father's Day

(Some parts of) the world is holding the torch for Fathers this week.

Fathers who provide
Dads who attend
Bapak, Ayah, who do the work, showing up baring their true emotions and wits.

While we don't fit into a certain standard of parenthood, I am grateful to see the above qualities in you.
Our nephews, Godson, and niece, are too.
Our dogs? On cloud nine because of you!

Thank you for being here for us.
High tide or low, let's choose Jesus a million times over, in this path where we can help nurture children according to His plan.

We love you as much as we like you, Bapak Yovan 🤍💙⭐

Blessed Beyond Measure

Bedah Karya: Buku "Untuk Perempuan Biasa"

Saya bersama Setara Sejahtera menyapa kembali 👋🏽

Kali ini dalam Bedah Karya: "Untuk Perempuan Biasa."

Dari beberapa isu Perempuan yang menjadi topik buku Untuk Perempuan Biasa, perbincangan kita hari ini akan berpusat pada:

1. Anggapan bahwa perempuan harus bisa dan mau punya anak
2. Menyoal pekerja seks komersial
3. Stigma anak Perempuan lebih cepat dewasa (?)

Mari bagikan pandangan teman-teman soal hal diatas.
Jika belum baca bukunya, bisa pesan di @bukunesiastore !

In @sukkhacitta and @awesomelasem

💙❤️
#tressabelwrites
#setarasejahtera
#untukperempuanbiasa

Things You Never Know You Wanted

You know those moments when you’ve sworn—convincing yourself, or even your friends—that you’re just not that person? Not anything dramatic: little, staunch declarations like “I don’t like cake” (I once made my husband promise there’d always be an array of savouries for my birthday instead), or “I’m not a hugger,” or “I’m definitely a beach person, not a mountain girl.”

We all have our emphatic nos and quiet yeses.

Tonight, in the middle of this slow, refining phase of life—after feeding the dogs and nursing a glass of red—I found myself idly scrolling for places that had… Raspberry cheesecake bars. I swear I’m not that person, but there it was, an image that first read like marble tiles and then unraveled into something else: a lemon-bright, silky cheesecake layer, a sweet-tart raspberry swirl, all resting on a buttery graham crust.

Somehow, my steadfast “no cake” policy started to wobble—because if a little rebellion tastes like that, I’ll happily break my vows for dessert.

Or maybe, I am more stressed out than I thought?

Kartini and other Indonesian Heroines

Photo from Kompas.com

Kartini's name slots so neatly into W.R. Supratman’s lyrics, “Ibu Kita Kartini,” you’d think the song was composed with her in mind. Her contribution to Indonesian women’s emancipation is so fragrant it perfumes the national memory — and one fragrant by‑product is the very freedom I have to write these words. Celebrating Kartini each year is well deserved, but doing so needn’t blind us to other heroines whose stories remain stubbornly hushed.

What’s often overlooked is that Kartini is Exhibit A for a simple truth: a woman’s access to knowledge and renown depends heavily on location, culture and class. Fortunately, Kartini used her privilege with admirable purpose.

Because of her position, it’s not fanciful to say she was, in part, a figure “made” by the Dutch. Her readiness to criticise was shaped, to some degree, by Dutch education she could access as an aristocrat.

At the time the Netherlands pursued an “ethical policy” — in plain terms, a politics of owing favours. The message became: Indonesian women who wished to progress must embrace Dutch education and the modes of thought it taught.

Through her letters, Kartini documented the oppression she endured in a rigidly patriarchal, feudal world. Her ideas were revolutionary, yet she never quite had the chance (or perhaps she held back) to realise them fully. A critic of polygamy, she was nonetheless compelled to become the fourth wife of the Regent of Rembang.

Still, Kartini rightly ranks among Indonesia’s national heroes.

Regrettably, her commemoration is often reduced by commercial interests to marketing slogans and shopping sprees.

So let us ask: why only Kartini Day? Why not an Indonesian Heroines Day?

That would prompt other names to rise into view.

1. In Aceh stood Cut Nyak Dien — a war commander whose slippery tactics baffled the Dutch.

2. Rahmah el Yunusiyah of West Sumatra founded schools for girls and refused Dutch subsidies to avoid colonial influence; Minangkabau has long produced female educators who rejected colonial aid.

3. Dewi Sartika in West Java established girls’ schools that taught equality.

4. How many realise that Rasuna Said — whose name graces a major thoroughfare — was a fiery emancipation activist who fiercely condemned injustice?

5. Keumalahayati, an Acehnese naval commander, led some 2,000 Inong Balee (war widows) in attacks on Dutch ships and forts in 1599; she is said to have slain Cornelis de Houtman in single combat.

Do add other names you recall — I’d love to hear them.

Kartini, as in her book "Duisternis tot Licht", was indeed a light after darkness.

But who else carried that light? Don’t they deserve celebration, too?

21 April is not a public holiday, yet the revelry persists: traditional dress, competitions — amusingly, or cringeworthy, many involve cooking in high heels — cheered in towns and schools alike.

To a point, darkness has yielded to light.

Which means today we have an opportunity. Even if we don kebaya and join the festivities, we can use the moment to share the stories of other heroines.

Today we have a new story to tell our children, girls and boys alike.

Today and tomorrow we are better placed to use that light as a lantern to illuminate the struggles of other women.

Thank you for the fight, Kartini. We’ll take the torch from here.

On 21 April 2026, yours truly would like to add:

Here’s to the young girls torn from their families by Dai Nippon (1942-1945) — harried, violated and cast away on Buru Island; some never found their way home.

(Ref: Perawan Remaja Dalam Cengkeraman Militer)

(The Indonesian version can be read here:here)