Kartini and other Indonesian Heroines

Photo from Kompas.com

Kartini's name slots so neatly into W.R. Supratman’s lyrics, “Ibu Kita Kartini,” you’d think the song was composed with her in mind. Her contribution to Indonesian women’s emancipation is so fragrant it perfumes the national memory — and one fragrant by‑product is the very freedom I have to write these words. Celebrating Kartini each year is well deserved, but doing so needn’t blind us to other heroines whose stories remain stubbornly hushed.

What’s often overlooked is that Kartini is Exhibit A for a simple truth: a woman’s access to knowledge and renown depends heavily on location, culture and class. Fortunately, Kartini used her privilege with admirable purpose.

Because of her position, it’s not fanciful to say she was, in part, a figure “made” by the Dutch. Her readiness to criticise was shaped, to some degree, by Dutch education she could access as an aristocrat.

At the time the Netherlands pursued an “ethical policy” — in plain terms, a politics of owing favours. The message became: Indonesian women who wished to progress must embrace Dutch education and the modes of thought it taught.

Through her letters, Kartini documented the oppression she endured in a rigidly patriarchal, feudal world. Her ideas were revolutionary, yet she never quite had the chance (or perhaps she held back) to realise them fully. A critic of polygamy, she was nonetheless compelled to become the fourth wife of the Regent of Rembang.

Still, Kartini rightly ranks among Indonesia’s national heroes.

Regrettably, her commemoration is often reduced by commercial interests to marketing slogans and shopping sprees.

So let us ask: why only Kartini Day? Why not an Indonesian Heroines Day?

That would prompt other names to rise into view.

1. In Aceh stood Cut Nyak Dien — a war commander whose slippery tactics baffled the Dutch.

2. Rahmah el Yunusiyah of West Sumatra founded schools for girls and refused Dutch subsidies to avoid colonial influence; Minangkabau has long produced female educators who rejected colonial aid.

3. Dewi Sartika in West Java established girls’ schools that taught equality.

4. How many realise that Rasuna Said — whose name graces a major thoroughfare — was a fiery emancipation activist who fiercely condemned injustice?

5. Keumalahayati, an Acehnese naval commander, led some 2,000 Inong Balee (war widows) in attacks on Dutch ships and forts in 1599; she is said to have slain Cornelis de Houtman in single combat.

Do add other names you recall — I’d love to hear them.

Kartini, as in her book "Duisternis tot Licht", was indeed a light after darkness.

But who else carried that light? Don’t they deserve celebration, too?

21 April is not a public holiday, yet the revelry persists: traditional dress, competitions — amusingly, or cringeworthy, many involve cooking in high heels — cheered in towns and schools alike.

To a point, darkness has yielded to light.

Which means today we have an opportunity. Even if we don kebaya and join the festivities, we can use the moment to share the stories of other heroines.

Today we have a new story to tell our children, girls and boys alike.

Today and tomorrow we are better placed to use that light as a lantern to illuminate the struggles of other women.

Thank you for the fight, Kartini. We’ll take the torch from here.

On 21 April 2026, yours truly would like to add:

Here’s to the young girls torn from their families by Dai Nippon (1942-1945) — harried, violated and cast away on Buru Island; some never found their way home.

(Ref: Perawan Remaja Dalam Cengkeraman Militer)

(The Indonesian version can be read here:here)

Hardest Declutter in My Life

 

For nearly 14 years, this cabinet has stored stocks of dog's essentials. From vitamins to deworming tablets, from eye drops to ear drops, and sometimes anti inflammatory. But the space was also dominated by medicines that hold different stories, with epilepsy being the highlight 💜

Phenobarbital, potassium bromide, curpurm drops, lavender oils, and the jab that marks a more painful season- kidney failure remedies. 

After her passing two months ago, I found the strength to make some room. Decluttering is something I usually enjoy. 

But not today.

Tears were streaming and smiles were forced. It feels like I am betraying and deleting her from my life and at the same time confirming that my time as her Ibu has ended. I know it has but this time it's really happening?

"Marilyn is now a star." were my words when I texted my best friend about Marilyn's passing that day. 

A star doesn't need all these. Especially a star like her. I know she'll shine so bright I can see her and hug her anytime I want. 

The cabinet has some space now, after 13+ years, I know soon it will be filled again with other essentials. 

But the void in my heart longs for her name alone.  You, Marilyn, my voice of reason, my star ✨ 

Dreamy Top

 I am in love!

Imagine having this resting on your shoulder, fitting perfectly on the bust and waist, paired with your most worn in denim or silk sarong depending on the occasion.

We do not have Sezane here in Indonesia and to have it shipped will create a hole in my pocket. So I am looking for a similar top. Anyone?

A Moment to Pause and Hug

How are you?

With heartbreaking headlines from ALL OVER THE WORLD, climate change showing its game face, and economic downfall happening to most of us, I cannot help but feeling this struggle to wake up everyday. Not to mention, having this giant void since losing my 13+ year old Marilyn last month.

We've read the saying "be gentle to yourself" so often it confuses us (or me?), what does it actually mean? Does it mean we can ask for a deadline stretch? Gulping down a bottle of Shiraz despite acid reflux? Does it mean sleeping in and missing a few chores? All the above? I do not know.

But here's what I do know. Having a good pillar of support helps. My husband has been  wonderful. When mood swings and anxiety wire how a day can be, it takes a special someone to be gentle to you, to listen without disposing solutions, snort-laugh at a funny meme, or simply being gentle to your dogs who just chewed on yet another corner of your kitchen door.  

I am glad that I have him and I sincerely hope you have that one person too. 

This post may bot offer a one solution for whatever we are feeling today, nor will it answer and ease our worries. But I hope, by reading this, you know you are not alone.

Let's do these five questions, if you want a sweet nothing distraction:

Something you’re looking forward to: My nephew Nathanael first solo trip to Bali as YPTA (Young Passenger Travelling Alone) 

A worry that’s on your mind: My health that is very much stress induced and the fact that I have to be on anti depressant again. 

Your favorite dessert: Not a sweet tooth but a gooey dark chocolate brownie sounds really good right now.

Your hometown (or a place that feels like home): Bali. Where I live. And now I am embarrassed to complain about life situation while I am living in tropical paradise!

Something you like about yourself, physical, spiritual, style, anything! : I like my smile :-)

And last, a big long hug for each and everyone of you reading this. 

Goodnight, Marilyn

 

Marilyn Hutasoit Rondonuwu 04 Oct 2012- 13 Feb 2026

With our shattered hearts, souls in agony, we kneel and lift our hands in prayer.

Thank you, Jesus, for a wonderful 13 years of grace.

You have taught us about love and servantship through this bundle of joy we call Marilyn.

In her whimsical personality, we see Your gentleness.

In her strength as she rolled with the punches of epilepsy, we were exposed to Your majestic strength.

There was Your mercy in her everyday joyfulness,

and foremost, we have witnessed Your faithfulness in her abiding loyalty.

Today, we seek solace from You alone, as our time with her has reached its glorious final moment. She won the battle, and our hearts are captured in Your victorious purpose.

Please fill us with the affirmation that this was indeed part of your plan in our marriage and for us as individuals.

Cover us in peace that transcends all understandings. 

Amen

And to our glassy-eyed baby, our bright yet gentle sunshine, our epilepsy warrior Marilyn, aka Elina…

Bug, for 13 years, this home was never without you.

How am I supposed to wake up tomorrow knowing you will not be here?

How would you know that I love you still and always if you’re not lying next to me anymore?

How do I stop my mind from playing our favourite memories over and over again?

We’ve been each other’s shadows through the highs and lows,

how can I do it any other way?

You gave us so much. So I can only hope you’ll understand that I am going to take this one minute at a time. Not one day, but one deep breath at a time.

This void has your name in it, and we want to keep it that way.

This grief, lathered with gratitude for our memories, is worth enduring.

And with my bleeding heart, I’ll embrace a new chapter; to remember you longer than I have known you.

Rest well, little bug.

We are never really apart, because you are forever in my heart.

Love,

Ibu and Bapak

RIP- Marilyn Hutasoit-Rondonuwu (04 October 2012-13 February 2026)

Minutes before she turned into a star

With Bugsy

Our final stretch to eternity 

Our Baptism Story

April 2025.

At the time, Yovan didn’t feel the need to be baptised again, though he understood why others did and promised to support me. A week before the baptism, he gently said, “I believe I need to be baptised too.”

Here's the thing: many congregants hold different views on baptism. While this post isn't a campaign to any particular values, we hesitated to share our story. I shared my experiences, but those involving Yovan were to remain private for the right moment.

Yovan had a good reason; he wanted to show his growth before sharing his baptism story. I, however, felt differently—I wanted to express how much I loved Him and how He saved me. Both agreed not to offend anyone or create unnecessary drama.

But why are we more concerned about offending the world than pleasing God?

There was much to endure after the baptism. Yovan and I have been in a long-distance marriage for nearly six months. He devoted himself to his mother, who was entering palliative care. From afar, I watched him care for her—preparing meals, administering medications, cleaning her colostomy bag, and being by her side as cancer took her memories, up to her last breath.

There were nights he called me at 2 AM to cry and worship, the sounds of his mother’s pain in the background.

Then, a few weeks after his mum passed away, Yovan said, “Without the baptism, we would not be able to stand the test."

So, that was my cue. I'm sharing this with immense gratitude.

(Galatians 3:27) For all of you who were baptised in Christ have clothed yourself in Christ."

On Mothering and Being Mothered

 

The other night, I was feeling hot and bothered and just battling my way to sleep (hot flashes?). Feeling even more depressed from doom-scrolling, I decided to sleep on the floor with the air-con blasting over me.

Marilyn's spot was on the other side of the room, but despite being deaf, she noticed my hassle and inched her frail body to sleep next to me.

Her sweet powdery face, her gentle breath. A warrior who's been fighting epilepsy yet still decided to be with us with all her strength and grace, 

I teared up a bit, telling her thank you. She knew I needed that. But maybe after 13 years, you can't help but just...know? 

Yovan thought something was wrong but when he spotted us like this, he knew the assignment and took this picture. 

It felt like motherhood. I said to him in the morning. A brief moment, simple, yet brims over my heart, heals my deflated spirits. But at the same time, I was also tasting a hint of being mothered by her. 

The world may scream no. It's not motherhood. Not even close.

But my heart, with my armour lowered, whispers yes ❤️

And that, is enough for me.