Bagi nama Tuhan

Good, and bad, this 2020 is for You, Lord.

Thank you for not leaving my side. Not once, not ever. 

Immeasurably More

I asked for a little house in the middle of nowhere. Because that was what my understanding can measure and compute, based on what I think I can afford.
He gave me a beautiful home with a backyard... In Bali.

I asked for friends. He keeps giving me families.

I asked for a job that pays the bill. He gave me passion in doing it too. And some extra for me to share.

I asked so that every one of my siblings will finish college no matter how hard the situation is... Not only that He made it done, He also blessed them with jobs just right after graduation.

I prayed for forgiveness... for a break-through after my darkest times... He said "Everything is done."

I asked for a normal life, He showed me that His work is larger than ordinary, bigger than average, greater than life itself.

For a child of my own, I did ask for that too... And He gave me strength to overcome the suffer from loss and the patience to wait on His timing, because He knows that it will take more than a submissive heart and a parenting blood to raise one.
I begged for a perfect health... He gave me a chance to show gratitude in taking care of my self... to have faith in His miraculous work.

Now... I am asking for something I have never asked before. Something I never thought I need. Something I almost could never believe.

And with a pounding heart, I am telling you, I just cannot wait to see His answer.

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory. — Ephesians 3:20-21.

Enough said.

Pastor Rick Warren's son, Matthew, commits suicide, church says

In 2005, I crossed path with this incredibly moving book written by a mega pastor Rick Warren; Purpose Driven Life. I have been one follower of his twitter account as well; reading his biblical quote which are always comforting but can also be like a sharp sword-edge to my heart.

This morning, I read a sad news about how Warren's family is now dealing with the most tragic loss anyone could ever encounter; better yet a family of a dedicated God's servant.

Rick and Kay's youngest son, Matthew, gave up on his life-time mental illness and took his life away.

Suicide.

 The pastor's poignant letter to his church started with this line....

"Over the past 33 years we've been together through every kind of crisis. Kay and I've been privileged to hold your hands as you faced a crisis or loss, stand with you at gravesides, and prayed for you when ill. Today, we need your prayer for us... continue reading"

I was telling Peter about this news when we had our breakfasts as my cheeks started to form rivers. I do not know the family personally, but what breaks me into pieces is this aching question "How would one soul will ever deal with their lost one's suicide? How on earth? How do you answer yourself at night when you miss them the most?".

And memories started to flow as I have a personal experience about this breakdown. It was someone very very close to me. This person never made to make the attempt a success but still, the scars left to the rest of family members remain immortal. Keeping us on our toes. Fill us to the rim with worries, and uncertainty. What if it happen again and wha if it will be a success?
Someday, I may have the courage to share more about it but my gut knows that this is not the time just yet...

Now, as I send my gratefulness that I still have that person in my life, I am praying for Rick Warren's family.

Worthy is The Lamb

I never get to sing this song without bursting my eyes out. If I talk about my love for Him, I could never be always right, as I fail Him in so many ways.

But my dear brothers and sisters in Christ, I would never boast His love for me enough...

Thank You for the cross, Lord. Thank You for the price You paid.

Happy Good Friday, everyone.

Isaiah

The past months been super tough, and honestly, I was waiting on something that could make at least one of my worries fade. There are things in life I have been carrying around, and no matter how strong I may appear, I can stumble too. So, feeling weary and worry, stressed out and tangled up... I walked home from work and I decided to just be with my mind and read a few verses from the Bible.

You do not have to believe me but as soon as my heart says Amen, I got that call. With a news that's lifting me up so high it makes me want to cry!

I cannot really tell you what it is tho. But it is related with my family's future.

What I am sharing here is that... at one point, one junction, one cliff-edge; you will realize how vulnerable you are, how nothing but Grace can take you where you are today. At least, that's what I am feeling. I am gathering every bits of strength that I have left and giving them all for Him to restore.

I am letting Him to prepare me to soar.

GodInspiresMe

A King's child

Somehow, this dialogue between Simba and Mufasa in my all time favorite; The Lion King, reminds me of my late Dad... and of who I really am ( one ultimate truth that I ridiculously forget sometimes) . 

I am the King's child :)  

Mufasa: Simba!
Simba: Father?
Mufasa: Simba you've forgotten me.
Simba: No, how could I?
Mufasa: You've forgotten who you are so you forgot me, look inside yourself Simba, you are more than what you've become, you must take your place in the cirlce of life.
Simba: How can I go back? I'm not what I'm suppose to be.
Mufasa: Remember who you are, you are my son and the one true king. Remember who you are.

from Fan Art