Canine Epilepsy Journey

Against all odds, we got to celebrate Marilyn's 8th birthday last October. It was simple, sweet, filled with cuddles and treats. We even got wishes from all across the world. Some of you might have been following her story for years, and even connect with me in some ways (thank you, all of you my IG friends with an epileptic baby in tow). 

Here's a medical update: 

When she turned six, our vet has laid out all the truth and some hard to grasp reality. I have come to accept it. Her regular Phenobarbital 30/60mg will no longer distance the seizure as effectively as it used to, nor will those electro acupuncture. To avoid a lurking kidney failure, we tried to alternate her medicine with herbal drops- Cuprum 30 (copper), and she seemed to respond quite well until two months ago... Today, we'd be lucky if she has no seizure for a day.

Everyday, I am feeling like walking on an eggshell because a slight change of emotion can now effect her harshly. 

Soppy story aside, she still is the same goofy girl that I love, and I have told her (with tears streaming down my cheeks), that I will not force her to stay strong for me... if that day comes, she can bring some parts of my shattered heart with her. I promise to be a little bit braver than I am today.

Last week, I wrote a short note for all of you parents out there dotting a kid with a special need, something that I hope can ease your pain a little bit:

To parents and pawrents out there, with a special kid in tow

Who sometimes feel the need to hide their sorrow and putting on a game face on when their heart is on the floor

During one of the hardest nights, when you are cradling your baby through the most difficult hours...

Try to look into their eyes

Trust me

They think... you, are magic

Happy 2016

Here's a blog I have been trying not to post. But I finally did.

Dedicated to all the people who never understand about my relationship with my furry children. And who's been telling me that "It is not the same with being married and having real children."

I won't argue with that.

Standing strong with epilepsy

You read that right.

But it's not me. It is my baby girl, my cheeky-smart-goofy black Labrador Marilyn a.k.a Midnight Blonde.

She was diagnosed with Canine Epilepsy before she turned two. Her (probably) first seizure was before my very eyes. I was shocked in an assumption that she got food poisoning. Turned out, it was (is) Epilepsy.

And our life's been a tad of a roller coaster ever since.

Here's a simple explanation about it: 

Epilepsy is a brain disorder that causes the dog to have sudden, uncontrolled, recurring physical attacks, with or without loss of consciousness. This may sometimes occur for unknown reasons (idiopathic) or due to genetic abnormalities. 

And Marilyn has it. She has done several tests which ruled out other suspects and is proven as healthy and young enough to be on Phenobarbital. The vet has provided me with the right kind of diet and exercise plan. The tests were not cheap, and neither does her medicine and special diet, but she is family, so I do not mind.

What's a bit disturbing is that it will not cure it. It will just help her to distance the episodes. Any drastic changes in routine, or major swings of my emotions may trigger her gran mal. She cannot be too tired, too excited, or too stressed.
And since we have a strong bond ... I always always know when she's going to have her seizure.

However, even though I have handled her for (what seems to bee too often and too long) episodes, my heart is always floored. I am much calmer now, and learning a lot from her brave heart.
At this stage, her seizures might last to 7 minutes, which equals to eternity. Ranging from fit and spasm to total body unconsciousness to the point that she is losing control of her bladder. I lost my calm when she peed herself during one horrific episode. "It's okay baby... I am here... we're okay..." are my words of encouragement as I am trying hard not to form rivers down my cheeks. I am never sure if I say it to calm her of myself. Well, the latter, obvi.
But as soon as she's relaxed, she will immediately kiss me as if saying "I am back, Mama."
Mahoni, her best friend will usually sit next to me the whole time. Giving me support more that anyone can understand.

I am now in search of other types of medicine. She is responding well to Phenobarbital but in the longer run, it will eat her kidney alive. If anyone out there can give more information, please let me know.
It took me months to share this story of mine and now I am brave enough and is actually asking for advice and moral support. 

But the most important thing that I want to convey is, even with epilepsy, she still is, my cheeky-smart-goofy baby girl.
She has epilepsy, but it does not have her. 

ps: Read this What you need to know about Canine Epilepsy

Update as per June 2017
Her seizure now last from 12 minutes to 2hr long and she would actually pooped if it was that strong.
The worst was in February,  where in less than one week she had a 1,5 hr and 2 hr long attack which causing her a high fever for 7 days long.

Update as per June 2018
Her recent test shows her liver is functioning perfectly despite her multiplied Phenobarbital dosage. But we had two cluster episodes this year that force us to rushed her to the pet hospital so she can get sedative shots. Both cluster episodes lasted nearly three hours long. High fever keeps following after cluster episodes with the highest temperature being 41degrees.


We are alternating acupuncture for her too.

I love you too

Three's a charm: Things I learned from my dogs

And am being dead serious.

Soon enough, my instagram account will be assumed as my dogs's account (Mahoni and Marilyn) as there are more pictures of them in there than mine. I personally think that they are the most interesting things that I have in my life so far and they simply are gorgeous in #selfies without having to pout. And, #nofilter needed.

And I understand fully why I am doing so. Take a closer look to why you are doing what you are doing, you may learn a thing or two. I am now realizing three main things I learned from my dogs.

(I actually am learning hundreds but let us stick with three for now)

1. They are smarter than most people I know. We know exactly what relationship with certain kind of people will bring. We know what dynamic is going to work and what is not. You know he is not the one. You know she's going to wear you down. But, trying our luck to be proven wrong, or right, we keep pushing it. You are fully aware that it's a toxic relationship, but you keep coming back for more. Because, you know, "Maybe this person will change." Or if you are lucky, maybe this is just a phase. If you are downright delusional, you will think "Maybe, my body will develop some magical immune for his or her behavior."  The worse: "I am here to change him." Who's been there? (*raise hand*confession). Mahoni (a mutt), is a smart paws. Her hunting drive tells her that snakes are dangerous. So, to date, she killed three for me. We found them falling from the trees on an empty land behind our garden. But, once Mahoni learned that chasing and biting big frogs will end up making her vomit, never once she tried to hunt them down again. "What's in it for me?" she thinks. Geckos on the other hand are fun to chase (extra benefit: strong legs, cardio) and will give no side effects. So.... 
2. Uncompromising level of discipline. Marilyn (Labrador) is obsessed with, ehm...well... everything. But most especially, food. However, no matter how hungry (she thinks) she is, after you put her filled with dog food bowl on the floor, she will sit nicely. Just sits there... until you asked her to "Shake-hand" or "High-Five" and you say "Okay!". Only then, she will finish her meal in seconds. I trained this myself. So, I was surprised to know that she behaves the same way when my sister feeds her. Or my mom, or my brother. Anyone. Raised by teachers (grandparents) discipline has always been my main course. But there were times when I was still in college, I would not come early to a class if I think "Ah, this credit is easy for me to pass.". I will only be there 15 minutes earlier if the class or the lecturer was a tough one. Even when I know my grandparents golden rule was "Always be ready in your class 15 minutes earlier before everyone else.". I took it personally, I compromised. Marilyn does not. Even if you put steak on top of her bowl to lure her already drooling saliva. 
3. Their unconditional love. If I need to explain to you about dog's unconditional love, you may want to come over to our house. 

Sleeping. Done teaching me a thing or two. 

Dirgahayu ke 69, Republik Indonesia

Done helping Mama erecting the flag.
Woofy yours,

Marilyn.

Life as Marilyn Knows It

Everyday is a blessing, and waking up wagging your tail is the only way to greet morning as it breaks. Oh, with a hundreds of kisses on 'my human's' sleepy face too.

A walk on the beach is too hard. I say run. 'My human' sometimes forget to bring our ball but I can always find another one on the beach, laying unattended. I am sure no one would mind. I mean, people are kind and sweet and they have a lot of things to be thankful of so losing a ball on the beach would not bother them.

Thunder storm is unpredictable and can be very scary. But as long as I have a roof on top of my head, I will be alright. Especially if I can still see a glimpse of 'my human's' shadow in another room. I know everything is going to be fine.

Denta stix? Nom...nom...nom

I cannot decide which one I like the best; sunshine or rain? I do not get why mankind can open their blinds to square back how a day is going to be by just looking at the sky. You can soak in the warmth of sunshine... and playing under the rain is just as fun!

Anyone welcome to our house is welcome to my heart. This valids to Axl too, another dog 'my human' brought home a month ago. I like him. Almost as much as I like tennis balls, but not as much as I like denta stix. My friend Mahony has a different idea but that's fine. We are resulting a good dynamic, she and I.

I do not get what can happen in human's life... They can be very angry waking up and going to work, they can cry when it comes to their friends or relatives and even families.
Sometimes, they came home with a sour face and they look very weary. My over the top greeting seems to always work its magic to cheer them up. Once they caress me, I think my happy energy got transferred to them too. But still, I do not understand what can cause their unhappiness. I mean, I know thunder storms can be very scary but humans are bigger than me... So, it cannot be thunderstorms... It must be something else.

Every meal is a bliss. And I will finish them to the very last crumbs. I am thankful for everything that is given to be by 'my human'. 

Whenever 'my human' is away, I just spend time thinking of them and waiting earnestly so see them coming home and end their day with me snuggling in their arms. I would like to let them know that tomorrow is another happy day.

Oh, did I say that Life is a blessing?

One fine day at the beach.