Jan 25, 2012

Dear God, I am sorry if we have to meet this way

In between pillars. Down the shady road
My room. My journal. My grandmother's kitchen
By the shore. Under the tree

I know You are there
You are majestic. You are exquisite. You are infinite
Omnipresent they say, not that I get what it means

They say I should not worry about walls and roof of a church
I should not be broken hearted 
I should not lament especially because now I cannot spend some of the offering money on sweets
I am sorry about that by the way

But maybe once in a while, God... 
I want to show you how sweet and special you mean to me
That dress Mom bought me? I want to wear it to see You at Your house
I know You love all your child just the same but I have a feeling that You will notice me in that dress.
A red dress with embroidered daises on its collar.  Have you seen it?

Maybe once in a while, I want to stand there and sing for You with my trembling voice and pounding heart
Maybe I jut miss the old smell of the wooden chairs. I want to see what kind of flowers they put this time. What colour of candles
Does it have a scent? The candles, I mean

My understanding of You is this simple and I want nothing more
I know You through a million little pieces
I am a child and if being a child is the only way to keep the sweetest and purest relationship with You.... I think I'd like to stay this way
If You allow... of course

And God, I do not think I am going to let you see me in that dress anytime soon
And no one can tell me when will I could
Mom said I should talk to You about it
Well, I think it's a bit weird because I believe You were not the one who forbids me to come
I did not argue with her. I know You will not like it if I do so
But... I promise I am going to keep seeing you.

It's just that... I am sorry, if we have to meet this way...
In between pillars. Down the shady road. 
My room.
My journal. My grandmother's kitchen
By the shore. Under the tree.

TB
ps: For houses of prayers out there being banned to grow. GKI Yasmin.

Saying Images

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