The sweetest friend of mine asked: "How can you be so sure that you want to be a mother someday, or even sometime near?"
I did not know how I look when I answer her. But maybe I looked excitingly... clueless. Ha! In the end, I said; "I don't know... I think I just feel it"
Here's a hint. If you ask me something and my respond is "I do not know"; look me in the eye! If you spotted even the tiniest spark of excitement, the real answer is: I have so many things on my mind but I cannot tell you about it because I am afraid that you will think of me as a crazy person.
And right before bed, as my brain switched to an "at ease" mode, I untie one reason to another. Yes, motherhood can really be so tough. I know it is not a walk in the park.
(No, no bun is in the oven yet. I am in no rush:))
But... let me tell you.
I am looking forward to feel that fuzzy sense when you realize someone is changing you wholeheartedly.
I want to experience that gut wrenching feeling when you realize that there's nothing you would not do to make sure your little one is safe and happy.
I am not a mother yet but I know for sure; only my flesh and blood can do that to me in a second. Most probably on his or hers very first breath.
And this poem I just read is an absolute affirmation. A short poem so sweet it make my heart hurts.
"I never pulled over the car just to stare at horses, I never was willing to give someone else my last bite, I never planned on handling someone else's boogers, I never listened to a song 50 times in a row, I never found rocks in my dryer, I never had the power to heal a wound with my kiss … until you."- Unknown-
ps: I have once listened to a song 50 times in a row. But it was part of my fault since I introduced Jack Johnson's Banana Pancake to my baby nephew.
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| from Shutter Sisters |
