How to drive your partner crazy in bed

More reasons to love Gemma Correll!

When the programmer followed orders

:)))

Random

But funny.

Funny Pie Chart

This pie chart is so true!

What are you up to this weekend? I have to work on Saturday so nothing big is in the agenda. I would probably go to the beach with my girls tho...

Hope yours is much more fun-filled :)

Hashtags

#Toofunny:)

Can you keep a secret?

This is so like me! And I have 3 younger sisters. So, do the math first before you dish me a secret or two ;)

someecards

The only girl in the world

Whatta dark and funny girl!

Knowledge vs Wisdom

Oh how funny! This is like the best way of explaining what is the difference between Knowledge and Wisdom.

And, in case you are still hesitating the fact that Tomato is a fruit, read this explanation .

Your music taste

Dear men with only clubbing/party songs in their music storage. 

I think you know where you stand.

Sincerely, judgmental b*tch with serious taste in music ;)

Girl's dream

Every girl's dream is to have a guy call her at 3am just to say.... Errr... Really? Dude, try waking me up at 3 am ... I will kill you...

( Please excuse my dark sense of humor)

Just Cause; First Thanksgiving

Bill Abbott

International Connections

Confession; I am a sucker for Reader's Digest Laughs!. They are just hilarious and amusing . I am posting one of my favorite here below. Despite the bitter truth of global warming, the cartoonist sketched this one in a very funny way ... *cringed!

How Exactly?

This is so funny!

Credit unknown. Anyone?

Not so pained sighs

Just sharing a smile on a Monday afternoon. My Monday is speeding up like a bullet and I am half way there to the finish line. How far are you?

from savage chickens

Menyoal Lelucon yang tak Lucu

Berteman dengan orang dari berbagai kalangan memungkinkan kita belajar banyak. Baik mengenai karakter, budaya, latar belakang pendidikan ataupun bahkan soal kepercayaan dan atau nilai-nilai lain. Saya penikmat proses pembelajaran. Proses pembelajaran yang bukan melulu harus saya kenyam dibangku instansi pendidikan, atau semata-mata hanya lewat buku ilmiah, atau biografi orang kenamaan yang dulu sering disodorkan oleh kakek saya.

Satu hal yang saya pelajari; titel, posisi sesorang ternyata tidak selamanya bisa saya jadikan parameter kecerdasan budaya atau estetika manusianya. Mungkin saya yang terlalu mengkotak-kotakkan orang, mungkin saya terlalu naïf, atau berharap terlalu banyak dari penghuni-penghuni dunia yang ada di sekitar saya. Yang jelas, saya mengira pertemanan saya sudah cukup tersaring dan tertata dan saya tidak akan memiliki baik satu atau dua teman yang punya kebiasaan : Mengirimkan lelucon yang mengandung mengandung unsur pronografi.

Satu atau dua lelucon , saya masih bisa mengabaikannya. Buat saya, pilihan "end chat”pada fitur pesan singkat di ponsel pintar sangat berguna adanya. Tapi lama kelamaan, setiap lelucon yang semakin sering dikirimkan bukan hanya menjadikan saya mulai menilai si pengirim ini seorang pervert, tetapi juga membuat saya mampu memvisualisasikan dia sebagai orang yang kurang punya pendidikan soal etika dan bukan tidak mungkin- kurang menghargai perempuan. Mungkin dia lupa, mahkluk yang melahirkan dia itu, perempuan.

Jangan salah, saya penyuka lelucon. Bagi saya, tanpa selera humor, dunia ini bisa jadi lebih panas daripada kenyataannya. Tapi sayangnya lelucon mengandung unsur pornografi hanya akan menjadikan perempuan sebagai objek seks semata, sebagai yang diminta, sebagai yang di eksplotasi dan seperti tidak punya jiwa. Bukan urusan saya jika selera humor kita berbeda. Bukan masalah saya jika hanya hal itu yang ada di otak mereka.  Tapi, menjadi pemikiran saya jika hal itu disebarkan, dan bukan tidak mungkin kalau kita bisa mengkategorikannya sebagai bibit-bibit pelecehan, cikal bakal tindak kekerasan.

Tidak sedikit perempuan yang memilih untuk menjadi praktisi dalam dunia prostistusi, terlibat cinta terlarang, atau jadi "simpanan". Ya, ini soal pilihan. Dan saya tidak berada pada posisi untuk menghakimi. Saya bicara soal saya pribadi yang memilih untuk tidak mempermudah semakin besarnya komoditas perempuan jadi barang dagangan. Sekecil apapun efek dari catatan pribadi ini.

Catatan ini juga bukan untuk kaum pria. Cara memberhentikan- atau paling tidak mengurangi "pemakluman" dunia ini menjadikan perempuan sebagai objek, tidak cukup hanya lewat wacana. Perempuannya yang harus bersikap. Saya memilih untuk tidak terlalu mengakrabi pribadi yang menggembar –gemborkan lelucon soal perempuan, saya memilih untuk tidak tertawa jika lelucon seperti itu disampaikan, saya memilih untuk bersuara kalau tersakiti, saya memilih untuk lebih sedikit memiliki teman tapi saya tahu;  saya, perempuan, menempati tempat yang benar di mata mereka. Bukan minta diperlakukan sebagai putri raja, … hanya diperlakukan dengan benar.Itu sudah cukup untuk jadi landasan. Walau sepertinya saat ini, itu sudah terdengar sebagai permintaan yang berlebihan?

reducing violence against women

Work from Home

toonpool.com

Annoyed God

ps: Be thankful this is not our God.

When it’s raining cats and dogs as you wake up in the morning- bear in mind that some part of the area is celebrating the fact that they can now work on their soil. So, stop documenting your laziness or yelling at the sky to magically turn into a clear blue-, just so that you can have a more convenient commute from home to work. Grab a hoodie, spring an umbrella, call a cab or text a friend so you can tag along… Don’t nag about the weather. It is still okay to do it in your social soiree, but its just too damn old for me.

When the parking lot is packed and you are already late for a meeting, a "sake" period , a date- or maybe to see Me… Do not cry for my help. In case you didn’t know, I am nowhere near the parking gate, and I can assure you I don’t look like one valet officer …

And next time- try to come earlier, maybe on time at least. The saying of “God I’m late…please help me to get a parking spot…” Irritates me.

When it comes to giving your creator the offering, why do you always have to look for a smaller change? You can even stepped out of my house …(Yes, My house) for a few minutes, buy a candy- , or cup of coffee so that you can stay awake and most importantly so that the 100.000 notes will not end up in my throne? Give a smaller change to god, that's about right.

But that’s okay, next time when you are begging for a blessing, allow me to leave you for a while too look for a job, money, or anything that suits your generosity. I know you will understand.

When a young heart wants to come to serve me, you stopped him… You think my servant  has no legitimate future, I understand. You have this long line history of doctors and lawyers in your family. A future God's servant? Maybe not.

But let me tell you... do not send the ex drug addict over again...please.... You take the job of a God’s servant so low that you think a wreck is just good enough. It is because of parents like you- I now require a perfect man with an above average aptitude, no record of health failures, not a cancer survivor,  and holds a kicking degree from a so called university to serve me. So your number xx son or daughter is just not good enough for me. Not even close.

And now if you’ll excuse me, I have better godly things to do.

Sincerely,

Annoyed god

From Cartoonstock

(when I finished writing this story, I cringed- knowing that I have done at least one of the above, so yes, this is inspired by my personal experiences and flaws)

10 Reasons God created Eve

by steve langille

10. God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because men hate to ask for directions.

9. God knew that Adam would one day need someone to hand him the TV remote.

8. God knew that Adam would never buy a new fig leaf when his seat wore out and would therefore need Eve to get one for him.

7. God knew that Adam would never make a doctor's appointment for himself.

6. God knew that Adam would never remember which night was garbage night.

5. God knew that if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle childbearing.

4. As "Keeper of the Garden," Adam would never remember where he put his tools.

3. The scripture account of creation indicates Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be alone!"

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched His head and said, "I can do better than that."