How to get what you want in life (or at least, for your birthday)

Joining billions of other people in the world, I also did the “Which F.R.I.EN.D.S character are you?” quiz while procrastinating. It resulted in dr. Richard Burke. (I thought I was a Monica)

One time when we were still dating, I asked Yovan the same question. Which of the series’ characters do you see fit me the most? To my surprise, he said, “Rachel.” But the conversation switched to talking about how the love story of Rachel and Ross is one of the worst in the world. You name all the newly found words; toxic, gaslighting, love bombing. It was all in that one and off ten years lobster tale. 

Fast forward to 2023. A week before my birthday, I sent Yovan my wish list. Things that I want for my birthday, Christmas, or just for the pleasure of it. They are not necessarily what I need. Now before we go further, let me tell you about this list. 

It’s not as simple as listing beige trousers, running shoes, or laptop case. My list has a description of the item, the size, and the link to where one can find them. It’s also categorised in price range, so buying within your budget is possible. See? Could I be more Monica?

Yovan was perplexed at first. The idea of buying a birthday gift from a list is not something he can comprehend. “Will you be okay with it? There’s no element of surprise!” he asked, being a spontaneous and gleeful person who loves romance more than anyone I know. “But you know I hate surprises,” I answered and reassured him again that having people singing Happy Birthday to me at a restaurant is a big no-no for me. 

Here are my takes that convinced him to have one solicited document containing things we want that we can go to on Birthdays, Christmas, or a just cause: 

1. Buying things from a wish list benefits both the receiver and the giver. The giver does not have to stumble from one idea to another, the receiver will be satisfied

2. Zero errors! The arms of the shirt will sit perfectly on the shoulder, and the lipstick shade will be THAT exact Merlot and not Burgundy. The insole of the shoes will cause no chaffing.  

3. There still is an element of surprise because the receiver will not know which item you are buying

4. The recipient WILL appreciate it, and it will not end up as clutter (or being exchanged to store credit)

5. Zero errors and I know I already said that!

There! These are my Rachel's quirks! How she ensures everyone to "Stick with the list," my mind tells me as I speak the last bit of my in-depth objective. I get it. But Yovan is no Ross. So I think we are good.

PS: Would you try this Wish List with your spouse?