Annoyed God

ps: Be thankful this is not our God.

When it’s raining cats and dogs as you wake up in the morning- bear in mind that some part of the area is celebrating the fact that they can now work on their soil. So, stop documenting your laziness or yelling at the sky to magically turn into a clear blue-, just so that you can have a more convenient commute from home to work. Grab a hoodie, spring an umbrella, call a cab or text a friend so you can tag along… Don’t nag about the weather. It is still okay to do it in your social soiree, but its just too damn old for me.

When the parking lot is packed and you are already late for a meeting, a "sake" period , a date- or maybe to see Me… Do not cry for my help. In case you didn’t know, I am nowhere near the parking gate, and I can assure you I don’t look like one valet officer …

And next time- try to come earlier, maybe on time at least. The saying of “God I’m late…please help me to get a parking spot…” Irritates me.

When it comes to giving your creator the offering, why do you always have to look for a smaller change? You can even stepped out of my house …(Yes, My house) for a few minutes, buy a candy- , or cup of coffee so that you can stay awake and most importantly so that the 100.000 notes will not end up in my throne? Give a smaller change to god, that's about right.

But that’s okay, next time when you are begging for a blessing, allow me to leave you for a while too look for a job, money, or anything that suits your generosity. I know you will understand.

When a young heart wants to come to serve me, you stopped him… You think my servant  has no legitimate future, I understand. You have this long line history of doctors and lawyers in your family. A future God's servant? Maybe not.

But let me tell you... do not send the ex drug addict over again...please.... You take the job of a God’s servant so low that you think a wreck is just good enough. It is because of parents like you- I now require a perfect man with an above average aptitude, no record of health failures, not a cancer survivor,  and holds a kicking degree from a so called university to serve me. So your number xx son or daughter is just not good enough for me. Not even close.

And now if you’ll excuse me, I have better godly things to do.

Sincerely,

Annoyed god

From Cartoonstock

(when I finished writing this story, I cringed- knowing that I have done at least one of the above, so yes, this is inspired by my personal experiences and flaws)