But really, how are you?

Let me start by saying the obvious truth; this year sucks. But what's even more depressing is, we are not sure of the ordeal will expire as we hit January 1st 2020 in a couple of months

Sure, there are news on vaccines, studies taking places everywhere to test the effectiveness, tireless government all around the globe (mostly clueless) implementing measures to keep their country at bay... But really, how can we be certain?

Another brutal truth, I was planning to write an uplifting post here, and it is not looking well. I have no phrases in my mind that will help readers ease their anxious mind. To that, I apologise.

If I may, however, I want to share a few things that I've been doing randomly the past pandemic months. As it is a not one size fits all, you may want to do a bit of a beating around the bush here to see which one works best. For me, there are days when any small things I do can lift my mood in an instant (buying ice cream, re reading my favourite book). Other days are just too gloomy to handle and all I can bear to do is just curling up on my bed, sob a little, listening to The Smiths. 

Entering the last quarter of 2020, as my worry starting to pile up (financial, health of my family, the fact that I may only have several healthy eggs in my uterus, business-the lack thereof), I am also beginning to accept that I do not have to fix bad days and bad mood instantly. If the whole world is collapsing, then, maybe... just be human for a bit and sink for a brief moment... 

I am tired, terrified, and that...is okay. 

But when you have a little kick to do something to lift yourself up, maybe try these:

1. Listen to music that helps with anxiety. I was skeptical at first, but on the first go, it actually worked for me. A cup of hot tea in hand, this tunes, can actually remind our body to be at present even just for a short moment. 

2. Put on some lipstick. Even if you do not have a virtual meeting on the agenda. Instant mood lifter! 

3. Make plans to have a nice lunch. It does not have to be something expensive, it can be something as simple as your favourite fried rice, mac and cheese, or a giant bowl of salad that is soaked in heavy dressing. Something to look forward to, no matter how small, can give a kick up a good mood.

4. Clean your cluttered photo albums. As simple as that. 

5. Read a chapter, just one chapter... No need to press yourself to finish an optimistic number of books in a month, just try something in a smaller scale. It helps.

How about you? What is it the one particular thing you are feeling today? How do you deal with that? 

From Help Guide

 

And wouldn't it be nice to live together?

One of my all time fave. Somehow now feels more relevant than ever.

"And wouldn't it be nice to live together

In the kind of world where we belong?

You know it's gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together

Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new?
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through?"

PS: She and Him did a nice cover of this song too, check it here.

I really do

For years, I never prayed about this particular part of my life. Life partner, and... if we want to be more specific here, a life partner in a God centered relationship.

No one can really ask me why, as I will shrug it off lightly as I move forward. And I was not being dishonest. I was always thinking of that matter lightly. 

However, I continue to pray that God will cultivate me. My heart, mind, habits. Following the path He has prepared for me. Not easy. But I keep going. 

With so many changes especially the past two years, I've never been this certain of my existence. Pandemic or not, broke or wealthy, I am where I am intended to be, I am who I am sculptured to be.

I turned forty last January. On that very day, I finally talked to Him about it. How I have this sweet yet aching longing about fulfilling another purpose. A purpose I am somehow certain of, is in the store for me. "If you think I will do better in fulfilling my purpose by uniting with someone (of Your choice), thy will be done."

Now, if you have been reading my posts since the beginning, you might have a slight idea of who I am. How I can be particular (if not peculiar) with what I want. Books, music, food, clothes. Men? Yes, that too. So I cannot say I am not frightened because truth is... I am. 

That rugged-nerdy-handsome look but knows how to dress properly? Sure that is still on the list. And I believe in my list! Literate? Yes, THAT is non negotiable. We need to be intellectually intertwined, not just about trends, books, social issues, and or politics. It is also about the Holy Bible, about God's words, about who He is and what He wants from that person as a man, individually, and as a man if he were to be my lifetime partner. Someone I naturally respect and love at the same time because I just see it in him. 

What kind of a father will he be? I have my views on that too. Someone who is not afraid of showing tough love when needed but so gentle he would dress up in pink tutus if our daughter (or son) wants to have him dress as a princess who came to a tea party. 

A dad who would protect but gentle, provide but also allowing me to contribute. A lover, but also, a long time friend...

Location Unknown

"I don't want to be wasting time without you
Don't wanna throw away my life I need you
Something tells me we'll be alright
But something tells me we'll be alright alright"

Travelling places I ain't seen you in ages
But I hope you come back to me
My mind's running wild with you faraway
I still think of you a hundred times a day

I still think of you too if only you knew
When I'm feeling a bit down and I wanna pull through
I look over your photograph
And I think how much I miss you, I miss you
I wish I knew where I was 'cause I don't have a clue
I just need to work out some way of getting me to you
'Cause I will never find a love like ours out here
In a million years, a million years

My location unknown tryna find a way back home to you again
I gotta get back to you gotta gotta get back to you
My location unknown tryna find a way back home to you again
I gotta get back to you gotta gotta get back to you

I just need to know that you're safe, given that I'm miles away
On the first flight back to your side
I don't care how long it takes, I know you'll be worth the wait
On the first flight back to your side

- Honne-

Almost Home

Well, hello.
After some radio silence, here I am again. 

A question so dreading; how is everyone doing?

In need of reassurance for myself, that things will get better, that scientists will soon find the vaccine for Covid-19, that business will slowly regain its strength... 
Here's a song that I hope will make you feeling just a little bit courageous today.

"Almost home, brother it won't be long, soon all your troubles will be gone. Almost home, sister run wild, run free.
Hold up your head, keep pressing on. We are almost home."- Mercy Me
 

Untuk Perempuan Biasa

Yang karirnya saat ini tersenggal-senggal,

tak jauh beda dengan percintaannya  

Yang masih tinggal dengan orangtua, atau mungkin bertetangga kos dengan yang usianya puluhan tahun lebih muda. Berisik tiap malam, katamu.

Tapi mau bagaimana? Mampunya bayar disitu walau usia hampir empat puluh. Kau menggerutu

Untuk perempuan yang sering tak masuk hitungan

Yang dari jaman sekolah, terseok paling akhir saat pertandingan

Yang walau tahu jawaban, kadang memilih untuk diam

Yang nilai 7 dicapai dengan belajar semalam suntuk, berikut tenggakan vitamin yang katanya menambah daya ingatan

Untuk perempuan yang kerja sedikit lebih keras

Dari yang lainnya

Yang lemak di perut kerap bertambah walau hanya makan nasi sesuap tambahan

Yang presentasinya di rapat perusahaan sering tak diunggulkan

Yang berharap ada keajaiban supaya orangtua, adik, bahkan kemenakan mungkin bisa masuk daftar tanggungan

Untuk perempuan yang memblokir nomor mantan

Lalu menyesal

Perempuan yang mendaftarkan diri di klub kesehatan, lalu alpa sampai tahun depan

Perempuan yang sering tak diundang ke perhelatan,
yang hasil blow rambutnya tak pernah sempurna, yang eye-liner nya sering luntur di bawah mata

Perempuan yang suaranya seperti tertahan

Karena memang, ditahan

Untuk perempuan biasa-biasa saja

Yang memutuskan untuk  tetap sendiri,

yang baru mengiyakan untuk menikah lagi. Yang ketiga kali? 

Edan! Kata orang

Perempuan yang memilih susu formula untuk sang bayi

Atau yang memijit payudaranya dengan ramuan khusus tiap malam 

supaya kencang lagi setelah memberi ASI

Itu juga kata orang... 

Dan juga,

Untuk perempuan yang baru menghabiskan seluruh upah satu bulan untuk sepasang sepatu baru

Demi mengobati sakit hati ditinggal teman kencan yang bahkan saat makan malam

mengajak patungan

Percayalah, banyak yang berdiri bersamamu

Seperti aku

Dan hari ini,

dunia yang sibuk, lelah, dan tua ini... 
sedang merayakan kita!

Kita semua...  

Perempuan yang biasa-biasa saja ini...

Joke's on Whom?

Have you seen Todd Phillips’ Joker movie? Have you recovered yet? 

Have you moved on from the piercing and delirious eyes of Joaquin Phoenix?

 

Joker has sparked many conversations about mental illness. But while the movie gets some things right, other parts seem lost in translation. According to psychiatry professor Dr Ziv Cohen, who specializes in violence and psychopathy, “Joker strengthens the incorrect stereotype that there is a link between mental illness and violence.”

There is not. Because studies show that people with mental illnesses are far more likely to hurt themselves than they are to hurt other people. Cohen says the Joker doesn't fall into the criteria for diagnoses such as schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, and is more likely to be a psychopath, but even that is reductive. But yes, Arthur Fleck is obviously mentally ill.

That said, I believe there are a few key takeaways from the movie that should be labeled Oscar worthy.

First, about being kind to those around you. Because as the old saying goes, everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. So be kind. Always.  Second, about being kind to ourselves. Spoiler alert!

Let’s look back. There are parts I loved about the movie as well as the genius soundtrack; how the mentally ill Joker is still capable of taking care of his mother, picturing himself having a relationship, and even holding on to a job despite the mocking and constant badgering from his colleagues.

Yours Truly cannot help but reflect, and be grateful. Although work may at some point take its toll now and then, most of us are still in a good state of mind.

And those who are not? Have we done enough for ourselves, or have we done too much, or too little? Have we managed our work/life balance to keep our general health intact? Have we as leaders in each of respective industries provided an outlet that supports a healthy working environment?
 

If you are looking for answers, join in our recent conversation with Marriott General Managers on work/life balance in promoting breast cancer awareness.

A fascinating article related to the recently held Mental Health Day, as well as October being Breast Cancer Awareness month.

A healthy body encourages a healthy mind, so on a daily basis, look for nearby activities in your neighborhood, such as these sporting events in Jakarta,  try these swimming pools if you are in Bandung, or maybe invest in these retreats the next time you are travelling to Bali.
Thrive to be well as mental health is not a joke.

If you want to know more about mental health and how to help, talk to some of these organisations in Bali and find a cause that you can support. Maybe their stories can help us believe that all the everyday hardships in life, work stress, and relationship strains, are better shared with people who care about us and we care about. All of life’s ups and downs are normal, so long as we know how to bounce back. And a supportive network helps even more.

As Sinatra would sing (with Arthur Fleck swaying in the background), “That’s life…”