Secret Garden LIVE

This song never gets old!

And Springsteen's LIVE performance here is making even more endearing. It is giving me goosebumps right from the very beginning, I really mean it. You are such a talented man, Bruce!

ps: Maybe it's just me being sensitive the past days, I do not know why but this got me all melancholy :)

Insomnia post

Insomnia attacks!
So here goes... What do people actually do with it? Count sheep? Read? Eat? I tend to... write random stuffs, read magazines (and end up making check list of things I want-and not necessarily need!), or the worst... over-thinking stuff. Argh!

So since the latest is what I have been doing the past hours, I am taking my mind elsewhere. by... posting random stuff....

So, here's one of my fave line from one of my all-time movie darling: "Dead Poets Society"... Just cause:)

Now I hope I can get to sleep now because I actually am ver... hmmm... exhausted!

How to Introduce People

I just read a fascinating little etiquette tip!
When we are in a situation that require us to introduce someone, we should always say their name first and their relationship to us after.

Common 'mistake': "This is my brother, John Doe ."
Do it right!: "This is John Doe, my brother."

That way, you spotlight the person--not their connection to you. This small thing makes a cute and notable difference!
I am going to start doing this now!

ps: More etiquette to follow: here. Chivalry should not be vanishing!

Little reminder:)

Things I am afraid to tell my Mother

When my friends met my look-like-a-forty-something Mama, the first comment will be "Oh she's so pretty!". And, pretty she is. 
She has aged gracefully, you will see wrinkles and imperfections of a few gray hairs. But since she has this pair of wandering eyes, she does not seem like a grandma with two grandsons. And boy I wish I will have a figure like her when I am at her age.

She's more like a friend than a mother. That's about it. And both my mom and I have been through only a roller-coaster kind of life. Nothing less. She is "younger" than I am in many ways and is impulsive, and been to places and conditions we can not even imagine. 
But that story is for us to keep.0

So for me, there is no reason to hide stories from her. No need to pretend to be somebody that you are not when dealing with her. I do not always mind my language when we talk. We can talk about anything. She will just love you no matter what. Really!

Even so... there are things that I find hard to just casually mention to her when we talk.
ps: This is my time to be selfish so I can write anything... even if it sounds too hilarious.

Mama,
I believe in things that most people would cringe to, I allow myself to  be exposed to many understandings, dogmas and to this day, I still do not believe that a complete life comes in template order: dating-marriage-kids. I do not. It can be that way, but it can also be in different order. I may follow the path, I may not.

Dad and you have set a benchmark that is so high, I can only get teary when thinking about it... But funny enough, that's also what is stopping me. I might change. I may not. This is something that I do not know for sure, and I am fine with not knowing. 

But I want to tell you that I am not afraid to love again, I am not afraid to share life with someone that I know will take care of my heart. I just do not think he will be brave (read: crazy) enough to love me. I know people have been asking me to stop comparing dad with any man. I eventually will, I know that. 
Someday, I will be on the floor thanking God for having to make my heart finally giving up. 

Mama,
About grandchild. I know you have two beautiful grandsons now and they keep you busy. I secretly am thankful for that. Not only because I love those boys to death too but also... also because they stop you from asking when is mine going to come into the world. I have no answer to this Mama, I really do not. I lost one of your "supposed-to-be-grandchild" and the aching pain from not getting a chance to hold my very own baby is taking a remarkably slow time to heal... 
I always want to be a mama. Of a boy at first will be best. The girl can come after. Or whichever order. I know you know that.
But, what if I can never do that? Will this mean you will spend time less with me than the rest of my other siblings who can give you more little round belly for you to carry? Will this make me less perfect, and the saddest thing... less of a woman? 

I am moving forward, Mama. 
From all of our past and the lost times I once demanded for you to give back to me. I forgive myself, for causing such terrible miss-understandings whenever we had hardships that made you once (or twice) think that I love you not. 

Nothing that I would change about you and I. But one I thing I know for sure is that I am thankful for you.... and the good genes: (ahem, good metabolism) I have gotten from you.

I.Love.You.

Your first.

Succesful Woman

And using every single stones once stumbled her down...

Pinterest

Healed

Pinterest

Difference Maker

So here’s one VERY personal post. 

I have been having this weird feeling for the past two months. I am happy with my job, super grateful for my house (and its mortgage!), I enjoyed every single progress the house is taking (no matter how much of a snail-move it is ), and I would not trade anyone in my circle of friends and or families for anything in the world. So the above list has been carefully mentioned in my prayers.

But… drum roll…. (And please do not laugh)

But, I feel like there is something outside that is calling me. I am not able to answer a question inside that I know is existing but I do not even know what it is. And I know how ridiculous that sounds. But after a few months of crazy conversations with my own head, I know that I feel like I have not done enough. I know I am a good and responsible sister; not a black sheep daughter; a loving aunt; a productive work force talent in my industry and a mama bear to my dogs but... is that all that I am here on earth for? Really!? I am not planning to stomp my chest but a wise servant of God once told me that He has bigger plans for each and every of His children... and I am seeking for that now.

Now, let me continue...

I did tell you about my plan after I retire... But what makes me think I have enough time to wait? I posted stories about how mean us humans can be in treating animals. But, will my posts make a difference that I actually am aiming? Or will it just brought more tears?

The ways of making small-baby-steps changes are all out there and I have blinded with other things that I cannot even recognize it. But this ends now.

There’s a long term plan for this aching heart of mine (oh wow!) and I will feel more than appreciated if you would like to stand next to me during that process.

First phase, signing petitions (this includes to close the hell on earth; Surabaya zoo) and or making donations to a cause or two I have your heart set at. Mine is set to children and animals so they go here and here. Like I have told you before, I am so under-qualified of being a ranger so this is the least I can do. 
Second phase… sponsoring a child that I know is in thirst of education. Truth is I still need guidance in this, so if any of you can help me out, please feel free. I am not taking anyone home to live with me, just sponsoring for education. 

If you think you need to be filthy loaded to do this… I am thrilled to tell you that you are wrong. Any amount of donations starting from usd10 (yes, ten!) will be well received and properly channeled.

The third remains a secret at this stage. It is still cooking and it will take a huge-bold-giant leap in my live and it will affect mostly my career move. But I hope you would bear with me.

I have no long resolutions list for 2014. I just want to make a little difference. A 7 year old out there is probably already doing what took me 34 years to do but that’s ok. The better late than never cliché is working this time.

But I can assure you this is just a beginning. So.help.me.God

ps: If any of you can help me to make more ways in this calling, please reach me out.

Not there yet.