On Dating. In Bali

Not once has Yours Truly ever been hit on in a club, been offered a parasol in exchange for my digits at the beach, or even experienced a bit of office romance since moving to Bali nine years ago. Not once.
 
Are the words “Go Away!” stamped on my forehead?

Photo from 2011, when celebrating one year in Bali

But we are talking about this why?

With its pristine beaches, captivating sunsets, cliff-side restaurants, and exotic spa getaways, Bali oozes romance. And being one of the world’s top wedding destinations, and a melting pot of people from around the world, one cannot help but dream. So does this make the dating scene better in Bali?

Wistfully, there are still stereotypes. More often than not, locals who date foreigners are labeled as gold diggers, if not bed-warmers in search of a meal ticket. When one of them truly strikes gold, they receive an “emotional” Chanel handbag every Christmas.

I am always asked by taxi drivers “Is your husband a white guy?” when dropping me off in front of my humble house. They do not mean to be rude, it is simply because our society forces people to accept only one scenario: only women married to an expat can afford their own home.

My answers to such questions vary. From lying to them by saying “yes” to cut the conversation short, to lecturing a driver, who happened to be a young woman. In my defence, we cannot let a young blood believe that is what Indonesian women are all about. Because it is not.

There are many stories confirming this prejudice, but there are many decent men and women who are well brought-up, financially independent, and who wouldn’t expect only material things from their lover.

People often come to Bali simply for a change in their work-life balance, that does not involve shopping malls, or over-spending their hard-earned money at coffee shops waiting for the traffic jam to ease.

It is a two-way street for sure as apparently men are being labeled too; backpackers, surfers, the new-age-raw-organic-hippie-with a man-bun, or the sleek, sophisticated and cultured looking expat.

Each and every stereotype follows a certain template. Which just like women, is often inaccurate.

The only way to deal with dating’s dilemmas, is to be open and discuss these topics before it becomes serious.

The good news is that Bali’s dating life is indeed interesting and varied. From young surfers to senior citizens, globetrotters to restaurant owners, and good-looking chefs to (nearly) famous DJs.

There is probably someone on the Island of the Gods that you can party with, witness sunsets at Bali’s famous beach clubs, or do off-the-beaten-track adventures 
with. Depending on your personality, hobbies and activities, and where you like to hang, you will eventually meet that one person you are comfortable being with.

I learned all of the above the hard way; people watching, and pretending to be a good agony aunt when friends’ romantic relationships go south.

Only one thing is for sure. Whether the dating turns into a serious relationship and that grows into a marriage you can never be certain. But the Island of the Gods will always have a special place in your heart for your next love story.

I swiped right for Bali and haven’t looked back.