On Living Alone

So here's a low blow quote that I just read:
"If there's anything worse than a woman living alone, it's a woman saying she likes it." Thelma Ritter.
(Read below)

BuzzFeed, obvi.

It made me laugh, but also cringe. 

Is it really that bad that I like living alone? I have never heard of Thelma before (apparently she was an amazing artist who have won 6 Academy Awards), and even though Simone de Beauvoir has lived in the same years as Thelma, clearly their path never crossed. 

But I am not here to phrase an anti-thesis to any.

A few weeks ago, a rare incident happened in Bali. A riot between two local organisations. Four people were killed. I received messages from friends living outside Bali asking how I am and making sure I am all safe and sound. 

Then it got me. I. live. alone. 
If something bad happens to me, Marilyn would not be able to dial the emergency line. Mahoni might howl being a half wolf that she is but I think it will take a day or two for people to realize that I am missing and maybe days until my body starts to evaporate smells? 

Do I worry? Yes. Sometimes I do. I live in a nice, safe neighbourhood and the security gate is actually only one house away from mine. But we can never be too careful these days. So I always make sure that I understand and apply what it takes to make me feel safe at home. I set my phone so that I can dial people nearby if something happen (I hope I will never have to), and always double-triple check electricity chords, stove, locks whenever I have to leave the house and before going to bed. The rest remains classified.

But other than security, there are not many other things that worries me. Loneliness creeps in sometimes. When you are about to sleep then your messy head starts to come up with an interesting topic (at least you think) but you have no one to discuss it with. Or, to be precise, the one you want to discuss it with was not with you. When I am so happy and when I am sad.  Loneliness will find its way to crawl on my neck. But you will find what is working for you to deal with that. Reading and listening to music are nearly forgotten ways to escape from loneliness or boredom. But soon as I do those, I always feel better. Especially if there are two snouts licking your toes under the table.

It is not always grey and gloomy... When you live alone, you cannot help to get to know yourself deeper. You learn to eat alone and you actually enjoy not making conversations while scrapping the burnt layer from your toast away. You enjoy your true colours and you are comfortable being in your own skin as there is no one else there you need to attend. I have time to support animal welfare and be a sounding board on its campaigns because I have spent enough time know my true calling. There's no excuse to not exercise too. On a lighter note, at home, I do not have to draw my eyebrow. 

You learn new things. Like how to  change light bulb. You learned that if you have an al-fresco kitchen, you cannot leave a loaf of bread laying around naked on the table. Also, I learned that you cannot really watch "The Shinning" when you are alone at midnight. But I will need more time to master the toast making.

Living alone, may not be for everyone. And I cannot tell you if this is my end-game. I might change as I grow. I may live with someone else for good. But one thing I can claim today is that I am enjoying what I have and by the time if this is changing, I know it is because that is how I want it to be. 
Because apparently, living alone trains you to knowing exactly what you want. 

PS: What I do when I am alone and why it has Nothing to do with you.