Give thanks and saying hello to 2015

I would usually post a typical New Year's resolution and wish list... This time, I just want to take a moment to thank You...

For my health, my career and my family. None of them will be my treasure if it was not for your grace. And it is sufficient for me.

For anything of everything that I bring home, and a little something extra that I can share, so that people will see how good God really is.

My friends that turn into families. My two healthy and happy dogs as they have been an amazing companion for more than 2 years. Woof them (friends and dogs)

For the strength and reassurance you gave us all when we lost our dearest cousins, and a best friend in the same year. Psalm 115:16.
My siblings; Benevolent, Detrianne, Maharani, Isaac. My in laws Budi and Leonardus. My nephews Joseph and Nathanael. And our dearest Mama, Rosita. Our extended family and dearests friends and of course, my darling readers.
I thank you for everything that they bring into my heart.


For 2014, God, thank you.

May You guide me still along my continuous growth in the walk of FAITH.

Thank You and let's see what else we can thank for in 2015.

QZ 8501

For all the victims, may you rest in peace.
For their loved ones, may you find comfort in the midst of this tragedy.
For searchers, air-force soldiers, Indonesia's BASARNAS, search units from other countries... may God's grace and strength be with you.

Read: QZ 8501 crash.

Merry Christmas, beautiful people

God speed.

xoxo,

Tressabel Hutasoit

I pray you'll be our eyes

I pray you'll be our eyes
And watch us where we go
And help us to be wise
In times when we don't know

Let this be our prayer when we lose our way
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace
To a place where we'll be safe

Untuk kekasih-kekasih hati yang telah berpulang  kerumah Bapa di surga di tahun 2014 ini Eliap Lumbantoruan, Elkana Lumbantoruan, and John Ray.

Dan yang sudah mendahului... Andersen Pohan Simanjuntak, Luther Marali Hutasoit, Miduk Hutasoit, Marurat Hutasoit, dan Elfrida Lumbantoruan.

Being single for the holidays

and how to deal with friends' excitement over couple-y plans 

Lucky for me, I do not have: 

#1. Nosy families. My families are the laid back type. Happy-go-lucky when it comes to relationships. 

#2. New Year's love. 

I have never been a big fan of New Year's Eve. So, a "3...2...1" then kiss- scene would never make me go gaga. 

Now, even the recent (very important) studies say those are the main problems that singles will have to deal with during the holidays, I cannot really say anything much.

But I can relate with... #3. Surrounded by friends ( that I love) who love to over-share their couple-y plans. They can give you this feeling that perhaps you are familiar of: You cheer for them, but your paired-up friends can't help over sharing their chronicles of joint travels or Instagramming photos of engagement rings (#soontobemrsxxx). You're happy for them, but sometimes it's enough to make you feel like this girl on the left with my fave gesture!. They will ask for your recommendations for Christmas dinner or brunch, your advice on what's the perfect gift for their partner of 3 years (that you have only known well for the last year), lalala. 

Be still, they do that because they trust you have a discerning taste. By no means to make you feel annoyed. That's how happy they are. They found the love of their life and is just over the moon with excitement! Let them be. March on that parade if you like as it should not make you any less happy. 

And—there are good things about spending the holidays solo!

Good Thing 1: No need to search for the perfect romantic gift or finding the perfect place for Christmas dinner, or toss one or having to worry if you have too much bubbly during Christmas brunch because you significant other's judgmental sister is there.
Go buy a nice gift for yourself instead, gather (single) friends for a pot luck at your place, or a group of friends who may like to host lunch at an orphanage or at a retirement home with you. 
Good Thing 2: You can skip awkward in-law interactions
When you're single, you don't have to dread yourself along awkward conversations or pressing ones (say you are the new girl), or try to finish someone's cooking that's not to your liking (or pretending that you are interested with the amount of cardamon needed for that dish). You can celebrate with your own wacky family instead. Not with family during holiday this year? Call them. Skype.
Good Thing 3: You get to do whatever you want
Don't feel like splitting time between your and a significant other's families? Or having to dress like a nun just because his Grandma still think that you are a virgin ? You get nervous around kids? Great! You don't have to deal with those. Do exactly what you want, single friend. I am doing... me and , grab myself a bottle of nice top- shelf Chardonnay, go to the mass, read poetry book, eat a lot, skip exercise, write, watch The Grinch for 100 times, or Love Actually ;-)

Thou shall not be disgruntled.
Happy holidays, everyone! 

Love, 
Tressabel.

What's your favorite holiday treats?

My take on answering Emily Mcdowell's pressing question; "What is your favorite holiday treats?"

1. Macaroni schotel, Potato Gratin, klappertart, vruchtensalade (fruit salad) and...
2. Roasted pork with andaliman sauce. Andaliman sauce makes it very North-Sumatran and no one... I repeat, no one can whip it better than my Grandma!
3. Speculaas cookies... hhhmmm #nom. I can eat stacks of them till my face is swollen!

ps: Coincidentally, I was interviewed for an article titled Ghost of Christmas Delights. Read it here:)

What's yours? Emily's answers below, I agree with her on NO straight eggnog. But I have no tolerance for anything minty in my food. I just do not get it.

Ahu do dalan I (I am the way)

I posted this song lyrics a few months ago. One of Dad's fave Batak gospel song that he used to play and sing. My dear cousin Elkana Lumbantoruan posted his encouraging comments, saying that he listens to the song everyday. 

Even in the midst of his battle over cancer, he managed to elevate my then nearly estranged faith.

He is in God's hands now. Miracles do happen. As us God's children keep on believing in His time and plan... then experiencing faith restoration.

Till we meet again, brother. I know you will sing out praises in the house of the Lord! Philippians 1:21.

ps: The 

song: "Ahu do dalan I" (I am the way- John 14:6) 

Beautiful

Blue Christmas

Wont' mean a thing, dear... If you're not here with me...

ps: If miracle still exist, I am going to find this album again! 

(Bad reckless movers. Bad... )

Oh... confession, my real fave Christmas song is... from the Boss!

What were your childhood obsessions?

Pop quiz time by Emily McDowell !
But here goes...

1. Pippi Longstocking aka Pippi Langkous! Her beautiful freckles and her mad ideas and approach in life. Love! I secretly thought of my neighbor Doddy and Verina as Thomas and Annika *wink.
2. Crossword puzzle every Sunday with Grandpa. For a heavenly bowl of chicken noodle that we will buy after finishing all the questions!
3. The NeverEnding Story. For a month or two, I would read in the dark, under the blanket, with a flash light. Just like what the boy did!
4. Play. Christmas play, Easter play, Bible stories  play, ANY play. The stage was my oyster.
5. These book series Girl Talk, Dear Diary (When I started to have eyes for boys...)
6. Mermaid and this movie Dad bought in Japan and sent over to my Grandparent's for me:  The Last Unicorn.
7. Milo chocolate and its chocolate bar, Astors and believe this... I was obsessed with green beans and sardines! Like "Grandma, can we eat sardines and green beans for dinner tonight... again?" for like... a year. 

Tell me yours!

Letter to CURRIE Hutasoit

This post is to celebrate your birthday, Detrianie Anna CURRIE Hutasoit!

And I believe that this is something that you can relate!

Even for a genius like Marie Currie, haters exist! She won two Nobel Prizes for her work in two different categories, she was one of the leading physicists doing groundbreaking work in radioactivity (I seriously have zero idea about it, I mean, what the what is radium?!). As a bonus, she gave the world... well... "JUST" X-rays. But trolls and haters of 1911 attacked and judge her anyway. Her religious background, her relationship status was questioned and criticized. Haters came after her (and any of us) for being remarkably happy and successful. They despise anyone who shines, especially if it is their eyes that got burn.

So, it does not matter how you carefully select what to feed your baby with, people will criticize anyway. You will never gain or lose enough weight for haters, because the minute you are happy with your body, that's when they think you look like you need help. And when your husband accepts you for who you are (say you did not crisp-iron his Sunday's best) other people will roll their eyes as if they're the ones going to church with you. When your business attempts fail, and you manage to keep that smile on your face as you try again, they curse you for being "unrealistic." And dear, you're right. It is not even their money.

However, just like you, Marie Curie had plenty of people who supported her too, including Albert Einstein. He wrote her a letter of support, essentially telling her to shake it off. The advice still holds up: “don’t read that hogwash.”

Trying to be slightly like Einstein, I am asking you to remember this; you are an amazing Mama, a sweet sister and daughter, the greatest cook and brave entrepreneur, a supportive and loving wife. Nothing... nothing can change that. 

Happy Birthday, Selamat Ulang Tahun, Tuhan Yesus memberkati :)

ps: Dad did not give you that name for no reason, and... faith. 

Oh, and my post about Marie Curie a few years ago.

Rest of My Life

The video below does not have the best sound quality but I just adore how Brian and his sons performing the song.
Better for the ears version here.

Proverbs 17:6

I deactivated my facebook account a few months ago. This morning, suddenly feeling the urge to contact my late cousin's wife, and some other of my extended families, I re-activate them again. Oh boy did I get "lucky".

We lost Eliap (Hebrews; Eli), our cousin, June this year over cardiac arrest. I could write plenty of posts of his kindness alone. And how he was so supportive of my dream, always read my posts and introduced me to many talented Indonesian writers. 
Ever since his death, I talk to his wife, Kak Tiur online more often that I used to. 

Today, she told me that another one of my cousin, Eliap's younger brother- Elkana (Hebrews; taken from an Israeli settlement in the north-western Samarian hills), is now in critical condition over lung cancer. I talked to Elkana quite often too and have always known that he has been traveling back and forth Penang-Jakarta for chemotherapy the past year. After Eliap's sudden death, our conversations turned into something even deeper; God, death... His plan. Elkana's siblings and my siblings shared the same memories of our parents (their mom and my dad were siblings), our soft-spoken disciplinarian and amazing Piano player; Ompung (Grandpa) Alfred Hutasoit, and how we have been witnessing God's grace in every single day of our lives. One of the best thing that they taught us: Be proud of our culture, learn to use Batak language no matter how far you have traveled the world. This siblings are adoringly successful in their career I am telling you. Their oldest; Elisa is one person that the family always look up to. But no matter how well exposed and successful they are, their love over our roots and its tradition has never been put aside. 
A lesson I will carry for life and forward to my future children.

After Eliap's death, I promised myself to learn reciting The Lord's Prayer in Bataknese. And Elkana's been a great support on that. I am good now :). I can now even sing a few Batak gospel songs!

Just this week, the family was floored. The oncologist has advised Elkana to spend the rest of his days with his family. Cancer has spread everywhere. A happy husband, father of five who never let a day go by without praising God is now counting his final days in bed.

At the end of 2012, we held this big Hutasoit gathering. I missed it. It was just not that long ago, and browsing the pictures now... I realized, we have lost 2 people already. And another one is now battling cancer. They were all there, in the album. Singing, laughing, looking like they still have at least a hundred more years to live...

But, how long have we got left? No one would know. 

I am posting this, in memory of  the two, and in prayer for Elkana and his family... and to appreciate what we have today. Because, really...  what if you woke up tomorrow with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?

Below photos are taken from late Eliap's facebook album, posted by him with below verse:

Proverbs 17:6"Children's children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children."

Well captioned, brother.

The Hutasoits singing Glory Praise The Lord! (RIP  Bapaktua (uncle) Marurat Hutasoit- my Dad's older brother; man in shades)

One with the microphone is Namboru (Aunt) Riris, my Dad's older sister. Dad was really close to this fierce lady who raised 6 children on her own. 

Aunt Kristina, cousin Elkana, Aunt Riris Hutasoit. See how she handles a conversation?

 Elisa Lumbantoruan , Eliap Lumbantoruan (RIP), Togu Tobing (Aunt Riris's son in law), Elkana Lumbantoruan

Isaac Putra Hutasoit, Detrianne Hutasoit and husband Leonardus Situngkir, Maharani Hutasoit, Mama Rosita Simanjuntak

Anything you lose

But Rumi,

What if I do not want it to come in another form? :(

When the programmer followed orders

:)))

We just have very different values

She said. When I questioned her acceptance, tolerance and compromise in being treated like a less of a woman that she is.

I agree. We must have different values. 

But when you have time, or when you managed to travel to today from the 1950's,  we may want to discuss why your values don't favor overall respect for women.

A Woman that You Are

I simply think this is a heart moving picture.

This post is blogged under the influence of unresolved anger and to remind myself and all my my sisters and girlfriends out there about how amazing it is to be a woman.

ps: More beautiful frames. I love them all, but most; the basketball girl in tutu dress, the ice hockey girl, and mama writer with baby boy and her significant other.

Oh, have you signed this petition?

Indonesian Female Police Recruits subjected to Virginity test

I am not kidding.
And I could not believe that I have missed this.

While am jotting this with shaky fingers, I am waiting for my friend who works in a major newspaper publication in Indonesia to get back to me with more details and if he can give me any kind of petition or forums to sound my opinion.

My beloved Tanah Air... people have gone to the moon and back, land on comets and recycling 99% of their trash (kudos, Sweden), yet here we are... objectifying women instead of supporting their dreams. 

This is not OK: Indonesia police recruits virginity test. 

Sign the petition here, I know... I know we cannot guarantee how fast is this going to be fixed, or if it ever will be. But, if we do not do anything then nothing will happen...
Petition to stop virginity exam.

Pinterest

Ocean and Rock

Thoughts of you, warm my bones... am on the way, am on the phone. Let's get lost, me and you.
An ocean and a rock means nothing to me.

From London with Love

Never been a fan of this kid's Dad, the Brit midfielder, but I have to say... with a name like Romeo Beckham, it is impossible for one to not be charmer.

Good job, Burberry.

ps: My new trench scent.

Help me Believe

Will always have a soft spot for this choir.

Check this one too:  O Happy Day! and, when (what we should more often do...) praying for your country : 2 Chronicles 7:14.

Three's a Charm; On woman's body, sexual orientation and career

Remember this Three's A Charm feature I used to diligently post?
Good to be back now, today, with three random stuffs I hope you can leisurely read.

On my very own body.

Truth be told. I used to feel bad about my not so toned belly, chubby cheeks, and my somewhat flat a$$. Yep, I typed them. Thanks to countless of bottoms up G&T (try count the calories!) and nasi padang and late-night peanut butter sandwiches (sometimes, just sometimes, with Nutella).

Now, I do not care that much. I am healthy, have a good appetite and can actually eat almost anything I want. I do not have Gisele Bündchen's legs but I kick 5km of asphalt every morning, and I can still sport my bikini. 
And let's be honest...no one... no one is really paying attention to you at the beach (you are not Kate Upton). So why the fuss?

So... It saddens me how women today can still be so obsessed about the type of body they have and forgetting to have fun, enjoy their families, explore friendships, read, have opinions on stuff that really matters (like how to whistle, your next president, whatever happened to Amelia Earhart ...). 
"Are you an apple bottom or a pear?" a friend asked me when I rave about that new GAP jeans I have been eyeing. "Oh, I like neither..." But wait, are we talking about fruits here?
"I am a banana kinda girl." I say. Not sure she's getting that I suddenly am thinking about breakfast.

Put my friend aside. Do we not know that other than being a bikini model (which I admire too at some point) we can also be an amazing Mama, a kick-ass leader, a marine biologist, (a marine!), Astronauts, a cartoonist, or at least, pretend that you are that kinda girl that reads Huffington Post every morning? 
Do you know that ranting "Ugh, I have had too much to eat today" as a caption to your photo of a dish is not going to make you any healthier? (And, it was a picture of a dish with a chunk of foies gras, the reason why I am re thinking of my friendship with you. Animal cruelty is not cool, really.)

I just read this article and am now more inspired than ever in loving my imperfections... 
Well said, girlfriend.

On sexual orientation.

I have more and more gay friends every year now. From both lanes. Some been in long-time relationships, some are still in the closet when it comes to parents. But they are my friends. They are there to laugh and cry with me. Most of my gay friends are a far more of a gentleman than any pick-up-liner I met at parties and or clubs (surprise, surprise?). They offer me seats, hold the door for me, pay me movie tickets instead of treating me cheap beers. My lesbian friends can be so honest you will be afraid asking them for their opinions. But they are there. No offense to my heterosexual buddies here.
They can be confused, they can feel rejected, but in the midst of it, they can always call me for a chat, joke, rants and what not... and suddenly, you do not  really remember anymore about them being straight or gay. It matters not.

And hear this. My gay best friend on “gay relationship” : “We shy away from awkwardness, we are hopeless when we fall in love, our heart breaks to pieces when love crash and burn, we gossip, we nag, we demand, we ask for labels or we resist them. We fight, make up and go on dates.” 
Sounds like every heterosexual relationships we know, yes?         

So, my dear friend... The answer is NO, it does  not change the way I see you. It does not make me love you less. For I am more leaned in to your orientation about yourself, your goals and your approach in everyday life than whatever is happening in your bedroom. 

On Career.

I am not a CEO of a Fortune 500 company. I am not a brain surgeon. I am not in search of cure for cancer. No one is going to die if I do not scroll down my emails every 30 minutes. I can enjoy meals without my smart phone on the table.

The only medical act I have successfully performed was fixing a broken wing of a little bird, with the help of my orthopedic surgeon uncle (guess we all know who did the work there).

Sure one can always justify countless of long hours night at work, or brag about them! If that makes you happy, I am cheering for you. But once you started questioning yourself about whether or not this is how you want to be remembered of you when you die... maybe, a change is needed. 
Time frame, the company, the industry, your position, your route to and from work, or your pen holder on the table. Any change, but a change.

One beautiful mind once said “Do not let your legacy die behind corporate desk.” And it got into me... deep. I have been raving (to myself) about this one dream of mine. And no one is going to do it for me. I have to make the move, the changes, going through the headaches (new kind of migraines) and sleepless nights to make this happen.

And it is taking its remarkably slow but obvious steps... :) 

Have you been there?

Refinery 29

About Feeling Beautiful

I am lucky enough to have learned that beauty may not always comes as a package of fair skin, long non-frizzy locks, button nose, supermodel cheekbones and perfect eyebrows and lashes that's roofing a pair of bright blue eyes. All  that, carried in a  perfect size 2 (note: I do not have any of those, and yes, size 10 is now considered fat by this cruel society)

My imperfect understanding believes that  beauty is a form of stitches of flaws and imperfections. This includes the mind and the soul, that reflects crystal clear in your approach in life.

There are not many out there that actually seeing the word like that, I must say. 

And these days... I feel... beautiful (and I am not backspacing here).

I just feel beautiful because of the energy of the people around me, which I hope is the result of mirroring mine. I feel beautiful because my friends and families are treating me with respect and kindness, and they never notice if I have put on mascara and lipstick or not. 
I feel beautiful when I laugh so hard it makes me cry.

When my ears recognize beautiful chords and beautiful lyrics in songs. When I read, I feel beautiful too.

I feel beautiful when I hit the asphalt every morning at 5:45 am and when my dogs lick my face when I return home to play with them before preparing myself to go to work (they also care not about my sweats).

I feel beautiful when I cry and just be honest to myself about my feelings. 

When I pray... I feel  fragile and strong when I pray. But yes, beautiful.

And during that five minutes of time frame before I snooze my way to sleep, I am counting my blessings... I feel like I'm beautiful.

Maybe because I have mentioned you there too. As one of my beautiful blessings.

Gustav Klimt. The Kiss