Nov 9, 2014

Three's a Charm; On woman's body, sexual orientation and career

Remember this Three's A Charm feature I used to diligently post?
Good to be back now, today, with three random stuffs I hope you can leisurely read.

On my very own body.

Truth be told. I used to feel bad about my not so toned belly, chubby cheeks, and my somewhat flat a$$. Yep, I typed them. Thanks to countless of bottoms up G&T (try count the calories!) and nasi padang and late-night peanut butter sandwiches (sometimes, just sometimes, with Nutella).

Now, I do not care that much. I am healthy, have a good appetite and can actually eat almost anything I want. I do not have Gisele Bündchen's legs but I kick 5km of asphalt every morning, and I can still sport my bikini. 
And let's be one... no one is really paying attention to you at the beach (you are not Kate Upton). So why the fuss?

So... It saddens me how women today can still be so obsessed about the type of body they have and forgetting to have fun, enjoy their families, explore friendships, read, have opinions on stuff that really matters (like how to whistle, your next president, whatever happened to Amelia Earhart ...). 
"Are you an apple bottom or a pear?" a friend asked me when I rave about that new GAP jeans I have been eyeing. "Oh, I like neither..." But wait, are we talking about fruits here?
"I am a banana kinda girl." I say. Not sure she's getting that I suddenly am thinking about breakfast.

Put my friend aside. Do we not know that other than being a bikini model (which I admire too at some point) we can also be an amazing Mama, a kick-ass leader, a marine biologist, (a marine!), Astronauts, a cartoonist, or at least, pretend that you are that kinda girl that reads Huffington Post every morning? 
Do you know that ranting "Ugh, I have had too much to eat today" as a caption to your photo of a dish is not going to make you any healthier? (And, it was a picture of a dish with a chunk of foies gras, the reason why I am re thinking of my friendship with you. Animal cruelty is not cool, really.)

I just read this article and am now more inspired than ever in loving my imperfections... 
Well said, girlfriend.

On sexual orientation.

I have more and more gay friends every year now. From both lanes. Some been in long-time relationships, some are still in the closet when it comes to parents. But they are my friends. They are there to laugh and cry with me. Most of my gay friends are a far more of a gentleman than any pick-up-liner I met at parties and or clubs (surprise, surprise?). They offer me seats, hold the door for me, pay me movie tickets instead of treating me cheap beers. My lesbian friends can be so honest you will be afraid asking them for their opinions. But they are there. No offense to my heterosexual buddies here.
They can be confused, they can feel rejected, but in the midst of it, they can always call me for a chat, joke, rants and what not... and suddenly, you do not  really remember anymore about them being straight or gay. It matters not.

And hear this. My gay best friend on “gay relationship” : “We shy away from awkwardness, we are hopeless when we fall in love, our heart breaks to pieces when love crash and burn, we gossip, we nag, we demand, we ask for labels or we resist them. We fight, make up and go on dates.” 
Sounds like every heterosexual relationships we know, yes?         

So, my dear friend... The answer is NO, it does  not change the way I see you. It does not make me love you less. For I am more leaned in to your orientation about yourself, your goaland your approach in everyday life than whatever is happening in your bedroom. 

On Career.

I am not a CEO of a Fortune 500 company. I am not a brain surgeon. I am not in search of cure for cancer. No one is going to die if I do not scroll down my emails every 30 minutes. I can enjoy meals without my smart phone on the table.

The only medical act I have successfully performed was fixing a broken wing of a little bird, with the help of my orthopedic surgeon uncle (guess we all know who did the work there).
Sure one can always justify countless of long hours night at work, or brag about them! If that makes you happy, I am cheering for you. But once you started questioning yourself about whether or not this is how you want to be remembered of you when you die... maybe, a change is needed. 
Time frame, the company, the industry, your position, your route to and from work, or your pen holder on the table. Any change, but a change.

One beautiful mind once said “Do not let your legacy die behind corporate desk.” And it got into me... deep. I have been raving (to myself) about this one dream of mine. And no one is going to do it for me. I have to make the move, the changes, going through the headaches (new kind of migraines) and sleepless nights to make this happen.

And it is taking its remarkably slow but obvious steps... :) 
Have you been there?

Refinery 29

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