No need to shave this morning please

Hey ladies, just one easy question to close the day. Which one you like better? A sleek looking man or a scruffy dude? I am working in hospitality industry so most of the men in the surroundings as well as my acquaintances  are all looking like they just walked straight out of the barber shop; tidy, sleek, and clean.

I like that but I occasionally enjoy a view of a guy (if I am into him) if he looks a bit like he has "no time to shave this morning" . Most of my girlfriends have the same opinion on this too! My darling friend even have this rule for her husband: not to shave during the weekend. And as apparently it hits their mood to make out all day long... I can imagine how the hubby loveeees to obey so.

So yes gentlemen, do us a favor once in a while. Skip at least one time for shaving and show up on our door looking all manly, cute and hot at the same time!
You will not regret it ;)
( photo credit: here )

This is not what we mean ( tho a lil tattoo is still okay)

Hmmm... 

Modern Woman

Oh how this one cracks me up! :))

from this rad page

Awesome Monday: Awesome People Hanging Out Together; Dave Chappelle and Maya Angelou

Dear loved ones and sweet readers. This is probably one of the hardest stage that my siblings, my Mom and I have to deal with. I remember having this stomping heart in such pain, 6 years ago. When our dad passed on. Not the same kind of sorrow though, but this huge amount of worry. Like one big gulp of the thing you hate the most, stuck on your throat. Like that thick walls being placed all over your chest and you cannot do anything but shedding a silent cry. This moment, we just have to show a roaring courage. I cannot tell you the whole story, but gladly pointed out that at the times your family needs you, you have to be there. No matter how dark, how narrow. Cry with them, share the courage within even if you are frightened as hell yourself.
So, yes... this week's Awesome Monday is a bit gloomy. Truth is, I am now writing with a heavy heart and teary eyes. Sorry for being too personal- writing it down helps me to gather myself up. But I wish you all many blessings for the week ahead.

"Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can't practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage" Maya Angelou.

Dave Chappelle and Maya Angelou. From My inspiration of Awesome Monday

A Keeper

Sorry for not posting for you my not so many male readers. I just got off the phone with my brother and among one and other things,we talked about where to get a container for his room. Box where he can throw all his junks in. Magazines ( I do not want to find out what kind), games, collectible items... etc..etc. And I stumble into this page... Hmm.... I am not sure if my brother have this awesome taste as he will probably is using an old box now... but hope one of guys are!

1.vintage bread crate 2.modern magazine stand 3.industrial wood crate 4.gym locker bin 5.handwoven storage basket

Will and Will not

One random topic. How far do you know yourself so that you can distinguish very surely things you will change and things you will not? I have been thinking about it the whole day and as a pace of training if will try to jot them down. Here you go;

(ps: all in random order and may mounting up as time goes)

I know I will never:

• Lose my faith.
• Have cats.
• Be too old for cartoon movies, dancing under the rain, and act all silly whenever the mood strikes.
• Brave enough to ride a motor bike. I am happy just to be the passenger who will repeatedly yells " slooow dooowwwwn". But never, ride it on my own.
• Admitting that "regret" is normal. But moving on is a must.
• Get sick of a sweet french kiss. Especially one that has "pauses" in the middle because I cannot stop giggling when doing it.
• Eat Indian food again.
• Stop reading and writing and adore music and art. I did not regret that I fail on my violin and piano classes when I was a kid. Was too active, not that "genius" and too goofy back then. I ended up as one music lover anyway.
• Change my last name. If it matters much for the spouse, I will hyphenated it; Tressabel Hutasoit- XYZ. If...
• Let anyone define who I really am. 
• Color my hair. I am so proud of the dark as the night color. Will never ever dye them.

And at some stage, I know I will:

• Be too busy decorating my own house I will have no time to blog as much *big grin. After that, my posts will be all about home decor. (# in my Bucket List)
• Cook. Not the easy ones but the "rich with twists and flavors" Asian cooking. Oh dear Grandma, please bear with me. 
• Get wrinkles under my eyes. I laugh a lot. This is the risk.
• Understand that the whole thing is not about me. Like the first chapter in Rev. Rick Warren's book: Purpose Driven Life: It's not about you.
• Have that one particular book published ( which reminds me of this so hard to wrapped up those chapter!)
• Be in that pilgrimage tour to Israel. Mom, count me on this.
• Have my own family. Be one godly, loving woman for one man, be the type of a mother who will always hover on my children's back (haha!), spoil them with love, do anything for their education.
• Discipline the yoga class again (oh wait, this has to start next week!)

from here

Zip it

So please... If it does not bring peace, if it is harmful and filthy, if it's a curse instead of a blessing; Zip it. Do not let the magic of your words linger if the only thing it will do is diminishing one's heart and pride... I repeat; Zip it.

from chrismellow

Dear Little Sister

Dear Little sister,

I have to tell you this... I think it is cute to know you still think of me as one who always have the answer to everything. Like when we were kids. When you ask about silly stuffs and I gladly responded with ridiculous answers. Answers you found comforting. Answers we both believed in.

Remember how we could not wait to grow up? How we sneaked into Mom's closet just to try on her shoes and lipstick? If only somebody would tell us not to rush it... we would probably cut all the crap and live in the childhood longer. How growing up sucks... How it is not merely all being pretty and driving and get the freedom to do things we are told not to.

But, sure.. time strolls in a speed of light. And here we are now. Looking back, questioning fate. Even.. questioning God. Why are we here? Why so dark? Why the road is just too narrow I cannot barely breathe? Why did I get myself into this?

Dear little sister... Honestly... I do not know. I do not have all the answers. Part of me is also wandering in search. Of nothingness?

If there is one thing I can do is to hold your hand... Let us walk in the dark together. Let us be frightened together. Just us.  No explanation needed.

This might be one of the tunnel that may seems has no end. No light. No signs. But believe me... There is. 

We just have to walk through this. Grow faith in each step of the way. Let us take it one day at a time. One baby step... But walk... Let us face this. No reason to look in to the past. They matter not.

Little sister... Do not stop now, do not gave up. Not on me. Not for your sweet self. 

Hold my hand. Cry on my shoulder. Let me weep for us too. Listen, I am with you. No matter what.

from yanilavignet

Try and try again

That's it! Apply for that vacancy, pick up the phone and ask her out, join the club, say yes, send that article to be published, apply again, enroll, do the test, make that investment, sign the contract ... Jump. Try. Try again :)

from here

How old or how young would you go ?

I talked about this with friends a few days ago and I am just curious. What is the age difference would you still compromise? 
Ladies, would a man 10 to 15 years older stop you? Or will it excites you?

How about if they are younger? Like significantly 5 or 8 years younger? Do you have certain formula to define which age is a green light and which is red flag? I really believe that it depends on the character. Can you guys connect in a way? (and ahem...the look also play a part *wink). I do have a soft spot for and older men but the fact is, the oldest guy I ever dated was only 5 years older than me (the relationship lasted no longer than 3 months). The youngest guy I ever dated was 3 years younger. Though we grew apart out of each other, it lasted for a year.  I was a rebellious, insecure teen back then so I am not sure if the same theory can apply today. 

I just read about this funny rule of thumb;  "Divide the older person's age in half, then add seven, and that's the biggest age difference you can have. So if you're 30, the youngest you can date is 22." This actually make sense to me. Another theory states that 15 years of age differences is still the "safe" zone for any woman looking for an older man. But how would you distinguish which theory works better for you? Again, depends on the character, purpose, chemistry, how comfortable you are with each other (and all other perks of relationship) . As cheesy as it sounds, it's true. 
Are you in a relationship now? Is your spouse older or younger? Let me know :)

Maybe... maybe not 22 years older

But definitely not 16 years younger  for me

What Halloween are you?

Are you a Halloween freak? I know I am not that much of a fan. However, browsing through all the posts about Halloween gets me all giddy and curious enough to find out about the nearest costume party in the island. My sweet friend Adis is asking me out to attend one if we managed to spot any. While that is on hold, I am thinking about what I am going to be. Here are some idea I narrow down from Buycostume ... :) What do you think?

Paint on people

Whoa! Alexa Meade is a roaring twenty-five-year-old artist. She paints portraits on people. Wait, what? Yes, On people!
She brushes acrylic paint directly on the skin, clothes, face of live models. Result? They appear to be two-dimensional paintings of themselves. Imagine walking into a crowd with acrylic paint all over you...

from thesensesfive

Women of God

I do the ritual of kneeling down in prayer every morning before I start my day. Confession; there are days where I do it like an autopilot. This morning, I converted the laziness to reading one page from the daily devotional; about how you have to let God define you and shape you through all things possible. Mostly through the not so favorable hardships. Nothing is a coincidence. I later on stumble upon my sweet friend's tumblr page and found this quote. I do not have any idea on how far I have become to this day... To become a godly woman sounds far far beyond... But it has to start somewhere. This quote below can be the first milestone.I hope I can.

from here

Awesome Monday: Awesome People Hanging Out Together; Bruce Springsteen and Michael Jackson

Welcome to our latest Awesome Monday post. A series of post inspired by this one awesome tumblr ideally to make Monday less stressful. Recognize the amazing people in the picture? :) I loveeeee Springsteen! You may check the rest of my Awesome Monday post here.

Have a good start of the week everyone.

Bruce Springsteen and Michael Jackson

More on reading list

It has been a while since my last post about books. I stumble upon this cute page and thrilled to see the writer's must have books. I want (almost) all of them. Maybe not the Trench book nor the Fifth Avenue. But the rest three? Want them bad! And aheeem..., if anyone of you my girls (our Secret Santa team from the "Whatever" )  is reading this... please take this as a hint ;). Oh ya this goes to you: Vivi, Fiftin, Kim, Taree and Silvia :))

ps: I will tell you more about my "Whatever" ladies later.

from hiphipgingin

Maps of Time  |  Storyteller  |  The Trench Book  |  Fifth Avenue, 5 A.M.  |  Just My Type

A carry on tips to carry on

Sourced from Reader's digest- and tweaked with my personal experiences, let us talk about packing for traveling. Now we all know that however short the flight is, you will always have that little carry on . Especially women. I am one person who have this "10 things I cannot leave the house without". Well, a quick walk to the nearest convenient store does not count of course.

Packing the perfect carry-on bag is an essential skill for the seasoned traveler, especially with "no guarantee" that your checked bag will arrive at your destination, But just how much can you expect to carry and what should you carry to make sure that you have all the items you need when you travel? Check out our 5 tips for packing the perfect carry-on.

1. Know the dimensions.
Most airlines post their size requirements for carry-on baggage on their website. Make sure that your suitcase is well within these parameters to avoid checking your baggage.

2. Roll clothes like logs, not in stacks. I do this every time I travel. I was a tour leader intern the first years of my college years so this trick really comes in handy.
This is how: Lay out your clothing on your bed or on a clean table and carefully roll the items up together. Separate rolls into pants, shirts, and skirts or choose to roll items in separate outfits if you plan to live out of your suitcase at your destination.

3. Stuff underwear and rolled socks in shoes. Ha!
Save valuable space by stuffing underwear and socks inside your shoes. My trick is, place them in a plastic bag and then stuff in your shoes for space savings.

4. Call ahead to your hotel or destination, or the very least- check their homepage.
There’s no need to bring a hairdryer if it is  already provided at your destination. Extra soap is a must for me because I cannot use the soap bars provided by the hotel. So I have their tiny bottles ready.

5. If in doubt, don’t bring it. Or, neutralized it. One pair of jeans that can go for a night and day instead of bring one that looks too boyish and one that looks to feminine. I have just one pair of jeans that goes with any style. When in doubt, don’t bring it along. You can find most of the items that you’ll need at your destination. Who doesn’t love a little vacation shopping?

6. Always have a pack of wet napkins ready and maybe a perfume concrete next to a hydrating spray. Anti bacterial wet tissue is adding the value. It is always refreshing to be able to freshen up  a little bit in the lavatory a few minutes before landing. No marks from the overslept, no weary eyes. A little jar of perfume concrete from Lóccitane that I always carry in my make up kit is just perfect for a carry on.

7. A fully charged Ipod, one fashion magazine (make sure it is the latest issue) is more than enough for a less than 3 hours of flight. Or 1 book you know you will enjoy if magazine is not your favorite airplane reading. If it is a long haul, maybe 1 magazine and 1 book plus a sudoku!

find more tips and trick  here  ( Oh that pop colored passport jacket is too cute!)

Pieces of mind of a Divorcée

No matter how many times I tell myself that such letter of acknowledgment is far from necessary, the alter part of me is more intrigued by the therapeutic affect it may bring.  Therefore I am writing this down. All this train of thought that seems to be overflowing. For all the women out there in this so called world in whichever end they are standing.

Here it goes; 
If any of you knows anyone who is entering a marriage but picturing a divorce at the end of it, please let me know. Because to this very second I know no one.

Funny enough, not only that I thought of a divorce as something that will never happen, I never believe in a fairy tale kind of life too.

I am (to this day) a very realistic person. I believe that there is no such thing as soul mate either. Relationship is something that you have to work on. I believe in no “Mr Right” just as much as I do not believe in the existance of a “Mrs. Right”.

To me, all those luxury need to be earned. No magic. No “heaven related”.

Foremost, let me declare this; my understanding and or proclamation of a divorce is not because I do not believe in the glory of God bestowed in the marriage. But, because I further believe that God also gives the same extent of glory in the happiness of each of his creations. Human being is one absolute creation.  A divorce happened with all the consciousness any couple could ever experienced. By choice. Free will. Not by fate.

• No one. No one ever plan this at the beginning of their marriage. So stop analyzing this as a force of habit, or as if you have read the signs from the beginning. Don’t start saying “Ah… I knew it…. “. Chances are; you don’t.
• It took a couple a lot of pain to be able to step into this decision. As a couple, they are shattered. As an individual, they hit rock bottom. So no matter one part can get the most prominent blame, truth is… no one is actually hurt less. So please, spare the judgment.
• Not every divorcée receives alimony. Never question why. It is her decision, her will, her choice. Save your wanders of guessing the reason behind this decision. Mind your own business.
• There were nights when she broke down crying for a mercy from God. That is all she needed to do. Most of the time, people always think a divorcée is obliged to explain everything to everyone. The answer is no.
• If she seems  carefree, attractive and sometimes like a seductive goddess, that is simply the cause of an endorphin release. It took her a lot to get there. That’s all. Something that has been holding her from that path is gone. Let her breathe. She is happy now. She deserves to be.
• If you suspiciously think that all divorcée are in a mission to take your boyfriend or husband’s attention from you, your relationship need help.
• There was probably something missing from her in the marriage. Not about the marriage- but about her. Something that used to be hers, but was slipping away. Something she used to claim as her true inner identity, but vanishes along the way. Now that she is divorced, she may run as fast as she can to look for that missing piece again. Going all crazy eyes and in such energy to just be herself again. Let.her.be.
• She can talk hours and hours about her “awakening” dream. A dream she realizes was being in neglect. Be her friend. Listen to her. You know those starry eyes of hers? Those are her reflection of new hopes. She is not asking for a sympathy. But, ultimately need a friend’s support.
• If she's with children, understand this; Her children are the most important and influential thing in her life. In them she found strength, either to be able to fall in and out of love again, or to live in such honor one day at a time. In them, she found that there is something worth treasure behind all the misery she has been living on. If you ever want to be part in her life, accept that fact. Be in that fact.
• Her past, folded her to be less… less judgmental. Saucy self secret? Tell her. She will keep your secret save; she will say no bitter comment.
• So she will second guess your purpose, she will resent you at first. Understand that this is not about you. She needs time.
• And on the other hand, if she is into you and you are not; man up and tell her that. Tell her that you are not interested and just want to remain friends. She is a big girl. She will appreciate you for that. And trust me- she is mature enough to still treat you as a friend.
• If you ever win her heart… Delight in it. Embrace her within. She will show you that she is worth every flaws, every broken heart, every trials and every fight.

One day, she will stand on her own again. In the perfect place she found most comfortable at after one major acceptance. Where you can recognize her again because she finally is at her peace. When she finally is her very self, again. She is beyond ready to move on. Be it alone, or with another person.

ps: to my sweet friend MOB(and..self)

sayingimages

Lessons Reaffirmed

Here are things I have accomplished to understand or reaffirmed this week. Nothing big, but hey… isn’t that what really matters? All the little things mounting up to be something tremendous? All the scars of imperfection that defines who you really are?

1. Nothing is thicker than blood. Nothing.
2. There are times to let go. Really let go. No questions asks, no "what ifs"
3. If he or she is not that into you. Mind trying to change that. Be it. Move on. Spare the energy to someone who really is interested in you. The domino effect will surprise you. A lot.
4. You can take an OFF day. Once in a while. Just as much as you can say NO too. 
5. If it is too heavy for you to carry; ask for a help. It is fine to cry yourself out in the middle of  the night. But once the dawn is breaking, gather yourself and start a clean slate. Ask for help. Share. Unload.
6. If he is willing to go across the country just to be with you for a half day date, he is worth it. Worth your time, your mind, and worth quite a big part of your heart. Trust me, I am speaking by experience.
7. Nothing is thicker than blood. Oh wait, did I already say that?
8. There are reasons why you are where you are, reasons why you are doing what you are doing. Keep searching for the noble ones. It is no coincidence. You are there by a choice.
9. There is no such a thing as a comfortable seat if your are flying with a budget airline (and I am not even 6 ft tall) 
10.  If you cannot be a good example, at least; be a bad warning.
11. Always... always listen to your heart.

sayingimages

Impulsive trip

I needed an OFF time. It has been a one heck of a month and it actually is still ongoing. My sister's wedding is in 5 weeks. A big event from work is in 3 weeks. I will travel a lot next month. Nothing for a "holiday".

So, I took a quick getaway last Sunday. Morning flight to Singapore and the last flight back home to Bali (on the same day). I surprised my best friend who lives there, luncheon with people I love (who flew in to Singapore too for that day), did a lil shopping. Hmm... maybe not that little. I went a little crazy. Have to admit, a retail therapy works on every level. One solid tip, do not charge it to you credit card. Cash! Hahaha :))

All beat and weary when I reached my loft in Bali but it was worth it. A breeze of energy was infused to me and I think I have what it takes for the rest of the coming busy period.

Don't get me wrong. I am no socialite. I do not have the luxury of having a rich parents  or inherit a huge amount of money. So, this kind of trip will not going to happen a lot :p, except for business trip. But, I believe that a person deserves to splurge into this kind of impulsive act once in a while. For as long as you are not hurting other people, not causing harm- why not?

Honestly, this was one of the most impulsive thing I have ever done, next to going for a backpackers trip to Lombok back when I was still in college. Ha! See how not so adventurous I am?

The best thing about the short trip? A chance to see my loved one(s). To know that my best friend is doing good no matter how hard life has been for her in the city. And, on a more "shallow and superficial" note ; I got the most wanted hand bag from H&M! *happy happy face.

Suckling pig taking its toll: An obvious forming of chubby cheeks :))

I like you! You are classic and also not expensive ;)

Awesome Monday: Awesome People Hanging Out Together; Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire and Liza Minnelli

If only I could join them! And oh ya, my  Awesome Monday  is inspired from this  tumblr . Hope you all like it and it helps to soothe all the harshness and headache that Monday can bring! 

About a break and things missing

So this "pause" will probably last for quite a while. I promise to get back with more and more postings when I am at ease. Not a writers block whatsoever but work is very very heavy these days and ahead. So, yes I have been on a sensitive temper, impatient, walking and staring with red eyes the couple of weeks. Not cute.
My brother is here since last Sunday so it helps my mood soothed, but he is leaving home today and I am back in this stiff mode.
Thank you for your sweet understanding. In the meantime, here's a few things that I have been thinking about lately. My next post will be about a thing or two from the mentioned facts below. See you. Namaste.

sayingimages

A quick spree

Ha! Been too long. See you this Sunday, H&M Singapore!

from here

Awesome Monday: Awesome People Hanging Out Together; Roald Dahl and Ernest Hemingway

Awesome Monday is a post series inspired by one amazing  tumblr  page. The idea is to make Monday less boring, less "headache maker". Both for my very self or you. Now, we have two of the most amazing writers ever lived! Whoa, Roald Dahl and Ernest Hemingway taking a stroll in London ( year 1940). Wonder what were they talking about? Yes!

Heart vs Life

sayingimages

RIP Steve Jobs

A sad way to start a Thursday . Rest in Peace Steven Paul Jobs.

from The Jakarta Post

What money can and cannot do

You asked for his or her parent’s background. Whether or not they own a company, or the very least they are a “somebody who knows who” in a government institution.

No, you say money is not the case here. You just want to make sure that you will not end up making acquaintances with one who will never do you any benefit of the relationship in terms of networking or business.

Your sister is no longer in your contacts list. The last call she made was about a help needed for the repair of her son’s motorbike. You have had enough. This is not about money; you are just trying to educate her about real parenting. You know she will eventually pay the money back, even if it is by an installment that seems like it never ends. But you are too tired of it. She should be able to discipline his son. You try to convince your reasons being.

Your son is doing all the best he can. He switches jobs and business from one to another. Jump into another track before even seeing the result of the soil he just started working on. He wants you to see that he is not the black sheep of the family just because he did not want to be a lawyer like you or your other son. You say you did not want him to feel that way, you just think he deserves to drive a Mercedes instead of a Toyota. No, you try to reassure. It is not about how much money your son should be able to earn. It is about what he really is capable to do. You tell him once again.

To my limited experience and whereabouts in life, all of those situations above don’t seem rare. I know people who are in it. I know those who are in denial of it. I, truth be told – was in one of the scenario. It also may happen to you just as you are reading through this post. But let us clarify one thing. Are you 100 % sure that money does not play any single vibe power? Are you sure what you really think about is others well being?

As time flies, I learn. Money has its toll. Along with its charm and its power. And as long as you are breathing in this world, you will never get away from the everlasting influences money can bring. Not before your body be one with the earth or turn into ashes again.

Money can be the element on how you measure your success, your skill or your achievements. But never let that define your state of happiness.  Money can be the reason for you to build a solid roof on top of your head. But it should not get in the way when you really have to create a “home”

Money can be the reason for you to say either yes or no to buy the latest gadget or to book a trip to Europe. But, money should not be the case when it comes to being helpful to your own family, or people in despair. If you can read this, I believe you are among the fortunate people in life who have more than enough to spend and to share.

Money can make you feel you have done your best or feel you could do better. But, money should not be the comparison you use when you see your children is doing their passion instead of following your career path.

It can be the strength you have that comes right after a hard work and perseverance, it- at a certain level- can boost your self esteem. But… Money should not be the final attempt to make people fall in love for you. You know this, money…vanishes.

How much money you and your future spouse have can be something that is essential for you both to discuss. But let not that ruin your little dream of making a happy family. Money can deliver you to get the finest education, the most lavish food, the most sophisticated medical service. However, be careful not to let your search for money ends you up in a hospital bed nor your appetite turn into greed.

Money can make things easier to be done, faster completed, prettier packaged. But never let money empower you to do the things you were not suppose to do, nor be the reason for you to harm anyone. Money can be the reason for you to move from where you are now, but it should not let you lose faith in things that are greater than the world itself.

So that in the end …

You know that money can be a part of you, but you never let yourself getting lost and be part of it instead…

saying images

IMO Update : Top Blogger!

Selected as a top blogger by IMO The Jakarta Post . Thank you all!Thank you God :)

Awesome Monday: Awesome People Hanging Out Together; Barack Obama and Kobe Bryant

Ahhh... nice!

Please check the rest of my Awesome Monday post here . A post series inspired by this tumblr . Enjoy the rest of the week!