May 5, 2013

Three's a Charm; Three Years in Bali

You and I both knows, time flies. Like in a speed of a bullet.
And without me realizing it, this week marks my 3rd year of living in Bali with its hundredth of gods. Surprise, surprise, #3 is one of my favorite number, next to #7. So without further ado,  here's me trying to wrap my three years in three highlights.

Note: This post may sound spiritual, so if you are one of those half-hearten man (which is fine by me), you can skip it.

Generally, I am a healthy person and been blessed with it. I do not smoke, I always have a good metabolism and my drinking nights are becoming less and less and even getting close to nothing... But, I got seriously sick at the end of last year. To talk about the details of what causing it is not my idea of a paragraph here, but what I want to share is that I did have a near-death experience. Yes. I lost too many blood and... one day early in the morning as I was laying in my bed for recovery, I was slipping away from my body as my feet started to get very very cold... the cold and shivers went up to my upper body and everything gets dark. So that was my first (and oh God please make it the last) ambulance experience, and my anxious drama of being one blood transfusion patient. If the ambulance arrived another minute too late, you would not be reading this:).
People say I appeared to be strong at that time, but little did anyone else know that it freaked me out to the smallest nerves in my body. Today, as cliche as it sounds, I am embracing life and health even-more. There's nothing I fear about be honest. But to depart without knowing whether or not you have fulfilled your destiny? I do not think I am there yet, so maybe I am given another chance.

With a crystal clear memory, I remember, on my first year, My strong, dutch-influenced Grandma made a comment about my kost (boarding house), "Well, this room is fancy. I bet you would only need to add just a little amount of money to pay for a mortgage every month, and the house can be yours. What you are doing for convenience now is just making someone else rich. And that someone is obviously not you."
Today, as I officially am a house owner, I have to admit that it was my grandma who have made a push to my longtime dream. I now have to work twice as hard with the mortgage, but I know if God took me this far already, He shall never abandon me. Amen.

And last. Here's something I have been trying not to mention as often... I want to be a mother someday. For it not to happen in my 3 years in Bali obviously is part of the plan on how I have got this far, but still, the question remains. Last week, I was watching my dogs  as they were falling fast asleep on my bedroom floor. There was this aching feeling inside, realizing how much I love them! And it got into me... If I can have this crazy feeling about dogs, what am I going to feel about my own child, my flesh and blood? What it feels like to love someone more than your very self? To have a gut-wrenching and full-to-the rim feeling of wanting to make sure they are all alright? You know, even typing this down make my heart hurts:'). Bali surrounds me with its magical charm and enchanting charisma the past three years, it also has introduced me with friends who are wonderful parents. I sometimes get jealous of them, there goes another confession... But if I have to wait for even three more years before I can smell that baby's breath under my nose... as long as it will happen under Your will, God. I shall wait.


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