Mar 15, 2015

Again on Chivalry

I received a beautiful card today. Just cause. But it reminds me why I am loved by him. Not that I need a reminder, but it gives such warm fuzzy feeling to know that one would actually invest time in picking the right card, picture, and carefully jot a personalized message, just for me.

For years, I have come across as a cold, reserved (sometimes), twisted (thank you, really) lady. And only few people can really get to see my soft spot. A big portion of pie chart may be categorized as my level of feminism. And most people think feminist hate men. WRONG. We adore them, and we expect so much of them, hence, us not wanting to settle easily.

We all know that years ago, we have discussed about chivalry here (yes, including what music you listen to and your shoes), and again in this post. We even talked about what we expect from your attire in this post. So that, should tell you how much we like men!
As a ...ahem, feminist, I would easily take note on your kindness and.... the nearly extinct manners labeled as chivalry, miss translated by swags as "Lame old fashioned."
Keep doing things below, please. And inherit them to your children.

Sending flowers.
This act has been labeled as romantic and downright cheesy. But let us try look at it this way: we send flowers to say thank you, houses of statesman send them as a celebratory and appreciation gesture, sympathy and message of "I am sorry I cannot be there for you but I am thinking of you." is represented in white lilies. It is Mother's Day, Valentine's, someone you know is losing a family member, your brother's first house, your parent's anniversary, your wife's first boutique opening.
It is not only about romanticism. And only certain fellows of mankind can appreciate it that way. 
And for those swags that say "Meh, we do not do that lame stuff.", well.. we get it. Flowers are far more expensive than the price of your hair gel, after shave and mouth wash combined.

Opening Doors.
When my (look like a swag but actually is the sweetest lad) brother did this for me, I said to him; "Thank you. Never forget this manner." Because, honestly, not many of guys would do the same. On the other side, how many of us ladies (or gents) would actually pause for a second to say "Thank you.", when someone hold the elevator door for you?
As for you, guy I am no longer seeing, yes... it was because you did not hold the taxi door open for me.

Never shake someone's hand sitting down.
Yes, you already are enjoying your meal when your friend's relative come over to the table. But stand up, firm shake the person's hand and introduce your name. He may be younger, or older. But you do not have time to analyze that. Your pasta is getting cold.

Pulls out chair and gives up seat.
I never forget that day when a gay dude (yes I am sure) gave me his seat while waiting for our table to be ready. I was standing next to the bar, all stools occupied. Only that gentleman stood up. I think he knew that Obama did it, Keanu did it. And I gave him my most sincere smile and a "Thank you." before sitting down, not forgetting to give my "I could kill you with my brain" look to the rest of the guys who just stare at us.

Speak in such soft-spoken manner.
We all should have zero tolerance towards men and women talking in such harsh and nasty way. Racism, cockiness, insecurity covered in "tough act/rude way of talking" are things I can smell from miles away. Sssshhhh....

Ps: To shave or not to shave :-)

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