Apr 29, 2015

The Big Five

Today marks my five years in Bali

Arrived wounded, I let the island healed me through even more things to lose, gain, change, and sometimes mutate. My steps were wobbly at first, and I almost gave up. Almost. 

People say you lose some, you win some. That's also the case in my life; in relationships, tangible materials, friends, wealth, weight, and maybe my skin's hydration (which sadly is a loss, grrr). 

After five years, the scar remains. But I am standing far cry from the past with all that I am today. 
Today, I am saying nothing but grace for all the things that I am blessed with; 

1. I am healthier. Sure, I just got better from a three day fever. But I am healthy. It was just my body telling me that I need to slow down. In general, I am healthy. I am in search of a nice skin moisturizer now but nothing like cure for serious illness. Thank you God.
2. Love has found me. Or, I have found love? Well, does not matter. I will share more on this as we grow. For now, I am cocooning myself in this special thing that he and I have and will only dish something when necessary. 
3. The house. Of course. I may not be the only single woman who bought her own house before turning 35. But since I struggled my way to be here, I feel sooooo blessed and lucky. Boy, the mortgage...oh the mortgage! I must tell you, I still cringe sometimes when I have to pay for it. Thinking about holidays that I have not take for the past years, branded bags and or shoes... or lavish brunch that I have to say "Wait/No" to. But every time I wake up in the morning, staring at my 4*3 m bedroom's ceiling, knowing that, even though it is a small house... it is mine, I am grateful.
4. My dogs Marilyn and Mahoni, my siblings, and my friends that are now my families. 

And last, but the biggest mark on today's milestone:

5. Since I met #2.... I have been getting this really strong kick.  No, nothing like from a bun in the oven. Nothing is cooking here. It is a reminder of one thing that I have been talking about for years but have not really started doing. I tried, but then stopped in the middle. Procrastinate in doing other things, using lame old excuses like "No time.", "I am scared.", and "But what if..."
Today, I made a commitment. To ditch all the above excuses and really doing it. It's all there, I did not even have to start from zero, I just need to adjust my focus,think, bleed and soar. So help me God.

"Not by might, not by power, but by My Spirit." Zechariah 4:6. To God be the glory. 

Some related posts:

ps: Next, I will post on why I decided to make this blog public again. Including the reason why I blocked it a few weeks ago. Keep reading... :-)

From Nyepi Celebration.

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