A woman is a reflection of her man. Not.

Have you read this story that has gone mental in social media platforms?: Read here.

Some claimed that the story is not originally from the Pitt-Jolie couple. But, that is not my point of phrases here.

I would be doomed if I said never get butterflies in my tummy when a guy do sweet things for me. Oh how I love being treated like a princess. I do. And for Brad Pitt (or whoever the real person is) to do those acts in supporting the love of his life to be back on track is utterly amazing. 

However, I can only hope that "A woman is the reflection of her man." quote does not get translated and absorbed in such ways that women started to search for men that will define them. Love and support of a loving man surely can make a great impact in a woman's life. 

But, a wise lady once taught me that we should avoid searching for that first. 

Your man's being should be an addition to who you are, not a reason. A glitter to your "Not flawless but perfect." reflection, not the core of it.

So with my imperfect understanding, I should say... A woman, is a reflection of her dreams and hopes, her faith and her unbelief, her victories and her failures, her accords and her struggles... 

And only a damn good man can be part of that reflection of hers. 

Close Your Eyes

I may not be the one standing for his concerts. But this one particular song cast its magic spell and the last 2 lyrics is haunting me. In a good way.

To imagine that I will be able to say that someday to someone, is beyond my understanding. But, I'd like to think that it is possible :-)

Good job, Bublé.

All You Need is Less

How many of you have actually done this? I dare you to detach some stuffs, instead of getting more... Maybe this way, you will end up feeling even more content.

This is what I want to try to do:

Less judgment.
Less society drama.
Less hook with with social media platform.

Less self-centered mind.
Less clutter. Get rid of all those clothes I am no longer wearing since the past 6 months.
Less chats. 
Less... worry.

What's lurking in the back of your fridge?

It's pop quiz time again! Inspired by Emily McDowell, one of my favorite illustrators; What's lurking at the back of your fridge?

My confessions below;

• Pack of Cheddar. And at least two cartons of soy milk.
• Half bottle of white.
• A jar of sambal terasi that's like a year old (because I am one busy Indonesian lady with serious Asian taste bud and I just have no time to make my own sambal) Ha!
• Three bags of denta stix for my babies.
• Puckered limes. As I think every fridge must have them.
• Cabe rawit. They look like this and is a perfect condiment for instant noodle for midnight snacking. Snacking? Yeah...
• Two loafs of white bread and one loaf of brown bread.
• Frozen peas. And one can of baked beans.
• Serious amount of jelly beans. And I am not a sweet tooth. I think one of my friend gave it to me months ago... I cannot remember who!
• Butter. Butter. Butter.
• Grapefruit juice. 
• Half-opened tonic water.
• Aspirin
• My lipstick. It was melting the other day because I left it in my friend's car. I really love the pop effect the color brings so I am trying to frozen it back. Dummy. 

Below is Emily's.

Soulmate(s)

Plural? YES.
Good to know.

Guys to have fun with. But not to go home with

Presenting you my maiden article in Hello Bali, June edition: "Get your flirt on; Guys to have fun with. But not to go home with!"

Read it here: Get your flirt on!

ps: This is not my first officially published article, there are some in other magazines: Three years (and counting) in paradise; Bali through the lenses of a photo-mania etc. And I sure am working hard to get some more out there. 

Thank you for reading my pieces of wanderings, beautiful people!

xoxo
Tressabel Hutasoit

Things my Divorce Taught Me

This post is not a mellow one. It is a written assurance of how thankful I am now. For my divorce (4 years ago), has taught me a lot that I am willing to share here, with no intention at all to pry.
One thing for sure...Divorce taught you a lot about life, love, your friendship, family, and your vision about relationship. 
But foremost, it taught you a lot about yourself. 
Here goes.

1. It is okay to change your mind. Obviously. Tho in my case, it may seem like I have registered for a swimming club to just then finding out that I am allergic to chlorine... But, really... why would you risk getting all those skin rashes?
2. You will have this super power to listen to your heart more attentively. You will finally understand that you are not that much of a coward anyway, because you are not afraid to take chances and embracing changes. Even though it hurts you to the bone.
3. Bitter truth lesson: Love... apparently, in a contrary of what The Beatles keep telling us in "All you need is Love"....is, not the only thing you need. 
4. Prioritising battles is one skill I never thought I have. Now I know that I can do that. It may seems like an act of ignorance, but there are things that do not deserve a glance of a headache and there are things that deserve my blood-shed battle. My divorce taught me to differentiate those. 
5. Some people can give you "that look" when you tell them you are divorced. That "Oh, sorry, you will find a better one someday" look (As if they think they know that's all that you are looking forward to in life!). Some sad people will be suspicious that you would want to eat every available-not available man that is breathing (including theirs!) Neither of those ideas that I care about.
6. There are also people who think they know what's best for you and aren't afraid to make pointy judgment to hurt you and make you feel guilty. Do they mean it? I do not know. But  lucky for me, it is my very own family that once told me this at the beginning of my divorce trials: "You can't worry about what everyone else thinks."
7. You will learn to understand that healing may take time. And trust... no surprise here; takes longer to re-build. And no need to rush. But admitting this is half the battle. I am getting there, in my timid baby steps.
8. The continuous self-discovery after divorce roams in and around all aspects of my life, including sex. You will feel more empowered and confident since you started to see it as more of a need and can be separated from emotional attachments, if you like. Or, there can be some in it, there can be a lot. It is up to you. BUT Get to know your body and do things the healthy way! Self love is recommended. Vibrator, ladies, is healthier than shacking up with some random guys. Although if you want to do the latter, make sure to keep yourself safe.
9. It makes you judge things less... almost all things but... it folds you to be super critical towards men. Again, do not feel guilty about ditching someone just because he did not open the door for you (or because he does not read a lot of books, or has no health insurance, or not wearing nice shoes, and does not like dogs?!) 
10. On a heavier note... for me, it did change how I see religion... but, the good news is... it does not change the way God loves me and it makes me love Him even more. 
11. Wolfing dinner by the sink is not a sin. So does gulping over a bottle of red (alone!) when you feel like casual dating is just a "meh" idea for some nights.  
12. You will be struck in an awe realising that you can forgive. I did that. And it is very liberating.
13. There will be skills and passions of you that are suddenly blooming. Simply because you have time to care more about yourself, your career, your potential. You will wake up one day feeling thankful for the roof upon your head that you actually built, or for that designer label hand bag you bought for yourself, or even maybe... for that handsome man next to you that you do not know his name of. 
14. If you really ask yourself... and really-really answer... you know, that you still believe in falling in love again. And last one... 
15. You will burn, destroy, erase... the things that are not you.
    

Baby Elephants Sees the Ocean for the First Time

I died a little inside watching this video. And it got me thinking about one thing; continuous self-discovery. I learned that everyday, if you look a little closer, walk just a few steps further, your will be amazed on how there's just so many things in you that you can explore. It feels like I am getting to know myself a little better every time and it is just so fulfilling!

Actually, I cannot explain how the video can relate to my thinking above. It just does that and I am liking it.

ps: Do not blink from 1:15-1:20. Cuteness overload!