Dec 21, 2021

22 Desember. Hari Kongres Perempuan atau Hari Ibu? Atau keduanya?



Syahdan, atau tepatnya sejarah mencatat, pada tanggal 22 Desember 1928, tak lama setelah Kongres Sumpah pemuda, sebuah Kongres Perkoempoelan Perempoean Indonesia diadakan. 

Ini adalah titik awal perjuangan perempuan yang diikuti oleh 30 organisasi perempuan dari daerah-daerah di Indonesia, di antaranya adalah Wanito Tomo, Wanito Muljo, Wanita Katolik, Aisjiah, Ina Tuni dari Ambon, Jong Islamieten Bond bagian Wanita, Jong Java Meisjeskring, Poetri Boedi Sedjati, Poetri Mardika dan Wanita Taman Siswa. 

Pembahasannya? Hak-hak perempuan dalam dunia pendidikan, pernikahan, hukum, serta peranannya dalam negara. 

Dengan pesan tersebut, Presiden Soekarno meresmikannya menjadi “Hari Ibu”, sebagai pengingat kesadaran berbangsa dan bernegara pada perempuan.

Secara perlahan, di masa Orde Baru, warna dan makna Hari Ibu terdomestikasi menjadi perayaan pada perempuan yang punya anak, yang tugasnya merawat keturunan dan mengabdi pada suami. 

Maka tak heran jika kita terbiasa melihat ucapan hari Ibu hadir dengan gambar seorang perempuan dengan si anak dalam buaian, atau disisi. Tak jarang ada ilustrasi sapu, penggorengan, serta si anak dalam gendongan. Ibu adalah yang punya anak. Titik. 

Lebih jauh lagi, berbagai perusahaan retail hadir dengan curahan potongan belanja bagi kaum Ibu, perawatan spa dengan harga miring diberikan bagi Ibu yang ternyata banyak yang tak sempat merawat diri atau sekedar pakai gincu. 

"Terima kasih sudah melahirkanku, memasak buatku, membesarkanku." Begitu rata-rata yang tertulis di kartu.

Apakah ini salah? Tidak. (If you’re sensing a “but” coming in, you are right) 

Tetapi… 

Akankah lebih baik jika kita kembali memaknai Hari Ibu seperti dicanangkannya dulu? Saat perempuan paham betul bahwa peranannya bisa beragam dan semuanya layak dimeriahkan? 
Ketika perempuan memberdayakan diri sebagai bukan hanya yang membesarkan keturunannya, sekaligus juga bisa berperan aktif dalam soal ekonomi, politik, dan mendidik generasi bangsa? 

Kasus pemerkosaan, pelecehan, kekerasan, dan (drumroll please) RUU PKS yang tak kunjung jadi kenyataan…. Bukankah seharusnya mendapatkan porsi besar untuk disuarakan juga di Hari Ibu? 

Pengetahuan menyoal consensual sex, pengupahan setara, hak-hak dan akses mendapatkan alat kontrasepsi serta fasilitas kesehatan, bukankah akan lantang terdengar jika kita titipkan di sela-sela ucapan Hari Ibu?

Seperti Hari Kartini yang sering salah kaprah dirayakan dengan lomba masak pakai sepatu hak tinggi dan kebaya, Hari Ibu, seperti punya wajah yang terlalu monochromatic, tetapi dengan suara yang teredam. Diam. 

Untuk catatan, pelajaran ini, pertama saya dapatkan dari seorang Ibu beranak empat, yang selalu membalas dengan “Ini hari untuk semua perempuan. Bukan buat Mama saja.” Saat anak-anaknya mengucapkan. 

Terima kasih Tante Yanti, ilmu ini adalah salah satu amal ibadahmu, yang kudoakan semoga Tuhan perhitungkan si surga sana. 


Selamat Hari Ibu, Perempuan Indonesia.

Yang Ibu rumah tangga, yang bekerja di kantor. Yang berusaha punya keturunan, pun yang tak punya mau. Yang menikah, dan yang urung. 
Yang guru, yang dokter, yang memakai helm di proyek-proyek atau yang terbakar matahari di pekerjaannya. 

Selamat Hari Ibu, Perempuan Indonesia.

Yang merintis usaha rumahan, yang duduk di kursi jabatan tinggi, yang berjuang di jalur keras bagi korban ketidakadilan, yang masih di hutan belantara memperjuangkan sepenggal lahan hutan untuk ciptaan Tuhan lainnya selain manusia. 

Terima kasih, karena cerita-cerita kita yang berbeda ini, sungguh sangat menguatkan hati. 

Hari ini, untuk kita.

Foto dari wikipedia 

Aug 6, 2021

A Sustainable Dream Coming True

While typing away, I am realising that sustainability has become the latest buzzword in the fashion industry. Awareness of the environmental impact of the fashion industry has skyrocketed, but how has this translated into action and results? 



Sustainability related keywords have increased 75% year on year, and your IG explore button now directs you to endless shopping options, with the promise of an environmentally-friendly dream; ethically made clothing that sits perfectly on your shoulder and flows beautifully right to your knees. Classy design, sustainability, and ethics! 

I first encountered SukkhaCitta in 2018, the same year I decided to leave my comfortable corporate desk and trail-blaze my way into a self-employed creative discipline (calling it an industry makes me feel uncomfortable). 

“I just want to share and tell stories about people - I just want to write,” I remember telling my former employer. They thought I was mental. I don’t think they were wrong. 

Slow yet steady progress was made, as I watched this seed grew into my own WordPixAsia.  

Questioned by many, I was full of self-doubt, and many sleepless nights ensued. Who will trust you? How long are we going to last? What if they don’t like my ideas? 

SukkhaCitta  quietly celebrates a mighty fifth anniversary this week, sharing one story that has touched my heart.  A mother (who made the clothing you purchased) witnessing her daughter graduating from high school.

I say “quietly” because there’s no blatant marketing gimmick like a special prize, and I say “mighty” because of the mother and daughter’s successes. These tangible results speak louder than words for this sustainable and classy fashion house. 

My wobbly first steps taken both professionally with WordPixAsia, and personally as a pretend extrovert, have been challenging. Today I am celebrating my third year since I first signed on my first client. I also realise that two years ago I turned down a project representing what I believe is wrong when it comes to nature and women’s welfare. I needed the fast-easy money, but I long for sustainable welfare more. 

If I were to mother a child someday, and he or she asked “Ibu, did you know anything about child labour or deforestation?” I do not want to say “I know. But I did not do anything about it.” 

I am still here, telling stories that will help other women, and animals as they have no sounding board, and I can humbly say there is no looking back. 

 You may walk timidly  for what you believe in. But keep walking. 

 You may bite your tongue every now and then. But keep speaking.



Jul 8, 2021

Recommended Summer Holiday Reading Books

Here's the truth, we can no longer use the excuse that we don’t have the time to read a book.

I've rounded up the most anticipated beach reads of summer 2021 (a.ka. pandemic). From an unblinking examination of history, to a magical story that leaves you with warm and fuzzy feelings. These books will surely be your best companions to help you through this unprecedented season.     

Front Desk- Kelly Yang



Loosely based on Kelly Yang’s experience growing up as an immigrant in America, Front Desk won the Asia-Pacific American Award for Children’s Literature. It’s the kind of book you know you will love after turning the first page. An even better way to appreciate it is to read it with your child (if you are a parent), or with your parent (if you are a student).

 It explores challenging social issues in a way that children understand better; poverty, racism, and how people of colour are treated differently. These topics are brilliantly dealt with in the story, making it compelling material for family dinner discussions.

  

Tree of Dreams- Laura Resau


Spoiler alert. You may want to rethink your chocolate and other snack purchases after reading this. As fairy tale-like as it sounds and the front cover looks, Tree of Dreams has nothing to do with magical creatures in the forest or gnomes.  It is a story about environmental activism and fighting for what you believe in.

Coco, a 13-year-old who knows her chocolates, helps her mother run an upscale chocolate shop called El Corazon, which buys fair trade cocoa. However, business is bad. Coco will do anything to help keep the shop afloat. She has a dream about a tree in the Amazon rainforest with a treasure below, so off she goes, using her prize from a dessert-making competition.

 In the forest, Coco and her friend Leo witness the terrible environmental impact of logging, oil extraction, as well as the problems indigenous peoples are facing, and deforestation. That’s where the real work begins.

 

This Earth of Mankind – Pramoedya Ananta Toer


As the first of Pramoedya Ananta Toer’s Buru Quartet series, This Earth of Mandkind was once banned. To this day, it has been translated into 33 languages. George Orwell fans may be reminded of Burmese Days, another Southeast Asian classic page-turner.

It tells the story of Minke, a sharp, smart Javanese boy of royal heritage who is permitted to attend a Dutch school. Through a friend he meets and falls in love with the daughter of a Dutchman and his concubine. He leaves his boarding house and moves into their home; the drama of the family’s dynamic, partly fuelled by his presence, forms the heart of the novel.

 Not merely a love story, This Earth of Mankind talks bluntly about colonialism, racism and sexism, woven through a coming-of-age tale — perhaps a metaphor for the birth of the Indonesian nation, as it throws off the shackles of Dutch rule.

 

Woman at point zero- Nawal el Saadawi


The Egyptian author, physician, and activist Nawal El Saadawi’s recent death has brought her writing back into the public eye. Her book on feminist ideology was ahead of its time.

Woman at Point Zero begins with Nawal’s attempt at interviewing a convict in a prison cell awaiting her death sentence. The infamous psychiatrist writes how desperate she became to interview her after having heard so much about her presence from the authorities of the prison. After several attempts with Firdaus (the prisoner) testing the patience of the author, the prisoner finally gives in. 

 

Free? – Amnesty International


An outstanding anthology with a collection of short stories, poetry, and even a play, Free? is inspired by different human rights, and published in conjunction with the 60th anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

 The stories, written especially for young people aged 10-15 years old, demonstrate why human rights are crucial issues in education, law, and education (or, the lack thereof).

 From a riveting tale of the search to find drinking water after Hurricane Katrina, to a a future where microchips can track every citizen’s every move reminding us a lot of the Black Mirror series, and a story about a Ghanaian boy with a passion for playing marbles. Free? can really twist one’s melon, alright.

Jul 3, 2021

What is the scariest part about relationship?

For me, it has always been (and is) about when I feel a gentle kick in my gut, that I have started being vulnerable. My autopilot defence mechanism will tell me to: stop. "You should never accept help." "This too will end badly." 

This is the loudest one; "You are going to get hurt."

Of course, I have learned that vulnerability is a key ingredient in creating healthy, fulfilling relationship. I understand the whys, I even heard stories about how couples are getting solid foundation from being open about their fears and or worries. Because contrary to what the world believes, vulnerability, is actually a measure of strength and courage, not weakness.

But when it comes to actually being vulnerable in real life, I struggle my wobbly ways forward. How do I do that? 

Especially, how do one who have been through most things alone able to say "I need help.", "Will you take care of me?". Or simply saying "Can you pick me up at the airport, please?" 

With this pandemic lurking, messing with our every plans, collapsing the world, I am cornered to feeling depressed from time to time. There are significant albeit painful changes that my family must face, some are even exposed to the virus. Like normal humans, I cannot always roll with the punches. 

I am slowly learning to lean in, to accepting help and support. Into believing that God has more in store when it comes to love and life.

I hope, you are being patient with me. 






May 16, 2021

11 Years in Bali

We go gaga over our girlfriends getting engaged, we spend money on bridal showers, weddings, and invest in the arrival of newborns. There’s even a gender revealing party wedged in between. I’ve had my fair share of fondness over them all.

But while such events are indeed worth of celebration, let’s play around with the spotlight this time and shower confetti on our friend who is celebrating their 9th year living on their own, building a career away from family, and is now a mama of a rescued dog. I am talking about you @runiindrani

Those who lost their job and after a month of wallowing, decided to launch their own business (This one is for many…)
That quietly strong colleague who has ended a toxic relationship and decided to have a pet cactus, to swap one prick for those of another kind…I get you. Also, your sister who’s learned a new set of skills after leaving her old job (Hi babysis @maharanisez
Your girlfriend who’s been sleep deprived, working on her essays, finally getting the scholarship (and is now back in town ready to nail an amazing job!) Yes, you @ristynurraisa

It’s probably the pandemic wit, but I am sure we have learned that life is too short for some, but unbearably long for a loveless one
Make one today, celebrate one, and be that spotlight of love over people you care about.

(Dedicated to myself, on my 11th year in Bali, the ones celebrating my first Full Marathon in 2017, ones who have known too many secrets @yohanes.hutauruk @yosefinewoodford @ria.kentjono.turnbull , and someone that I hope will be part of what the future brings)



Mar 14, 2021

Only the good spirits stay

The Balinese Hindu marks the new year with Nyepi Day, or silent day. A 24hr of meditation, where everyone on the island is mandated to stay in their homes, not turn on light, and simply meditate.

It is believed that when we "play dead", evil spirits will be tricked into believing that the island is empty, therefore... he will leave.

This is my 11th Nyepi and I've never wished for the Bhuta Kala to be gone as hard as I am praying today.


Photo from Tribun Bali




Mar 7, 2021

Happy International Women’s Day. Now what?

First held in New York City on February 28, 1909 as “Women’s Day”, the United Nations first celebrated International Women’s Day on March 8th, 1975, making this year’s celebration the 46th International Women’s Day. The second one to be held during the Covid-19 pandemic period.

This is also the year where David Bowie’s question, “Is there life on Mars?” may soon be answered. Meanwhile a long list remains of unmet women’s demands. Legal and political equality, freedom from violence, gender discrimination in the workplace, to name but a few. And do not forget   a griming fact of women being paid 11 percent less than male counterparts.
Every 8th March, we look forward to seeing trending hashtags and relevant postings, pictures and quotes highlighting the topic. The future is female, girl boss, viva vagina. I am all up for it. But put your screen down for a second, preferably after you read this, and ask yourselves: How can we reduce this list of unmet demands? 
We do not need to wait for the day to launch our own company and hire hundreds of women. 

There are also small steps we can take at home and work on a daily basis. Following this year’s theme #ChooseToChallenge, here are some, but please feel free to add more of your own ideas!

Runi Indrani
    Illustration by @runiscribbles

1. Pick a cause and stick with it. It can be a support group for victims of abuse, signing a petition supporting a legislative bill for the elimination of sexual violence (RUU PKS... DPR, we are looking at you), or participate in campaigns and small businesses founded by women. You can also check here: UNWomen 

2. If you have a woman working for you at home; a helper, a gardener, or a dog-carer, ask them this: “Do you have your own bank account? Be prepared to hear them say “No.” or “No, but my husband does.” 
Accompany them to the bank, help with the application form and suggest that you transfer their salary into that account. Owning something with your name on it is truly a positive boost for self-actualization. And that is a big step in owning their identity as they begin to consider saving for the future. 


 3. If you are Indonesian, you will be familiar with the BPJS. This government-funded insurance scheme is a world apart from the smooth-sailing process you get if you enter a private hospital - but it is still a huge help for those in need. I am nowhere near to close in working with them, nor am I part of the government force, but with bittersweet experience with family members fighting cancer, I can say first hand that BPJS works - big time! The lowest premium is less than IDR 50,000 per month, and I like to believe we can all afford to absorb that for our maid or gardener. Once that they have that sense of security, their work ethic and loyalty will be even stronger


4. Some domestic workers cannot afford to pay someone to watch their kids while they work. So, allow them to bring their kid to work if possible. Set some ground rules but let them understand that you are doing this so that she (your maid) can work and provide for her family (for example, in my case, my helper’s kid cannot play with some of my dogs, as they are very wary of strangers) 


5. It is time for the media and also us, to stop prefixing job titles with gender: for example, FEMALE CEO, FEMALE Chef, and FEMALE General Manager. Unless we want to cite MALE in every single professional position too


6. Have conversations with young girls about their favourite sports, most exciting subject at school (three of the girls I asked said: Recess and Maths!), and what they like most about their friends and family. We tend to default to commenting on their looks and their clothes, things we do not ask boys! They are good conversations, but there is more to little girls than only that. And that is on us


7. Understand an individual’s right to choose. Women can decide to live their lives differently. Differently from one another. Differently from social expectations. Differently from their mother’s, and father’s, expectations. Differently from family and friend’s expectations. It is an individual’s choice that is not an attack to others just because it's different.


So often we are caught up in society’s construct of “ideal” that we judge other women for their way of life, and sometimes, we lean into the nuance of sexism, bigotry, and sometimes victim-blaming. “Why are you still unmarried?” “Why not a natural birth instead of a C-section?” “Are you sure you can be a full-time working mum, without a tradeoff someplace?” 

But toxic patriarchy is not the only force we need to confront. There is an equally toxic so-called culture amongst us women, where we are too quick to judge other women, instead of understanding, supporting and seeing the bigger picture. Let us be careful that a woman’s worse enemy does not become other women. 

If you have already decided on your next move, let’s pick up our smart gadget again and post your hashtags to celebrate this important day!




Mar 1, 2021

What do you miss the most about pre-pandemic life?

Someone asked me this and in a split second I answered: “Money.” I immediately felt guilty, realising my answer makes me sound like the most materially-minded person on earth. 



It gives an impression of me being the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, or someone that has made the “Thrifty before 40” list. I am not one of them. So I fine-tuned my answer: “I miss the pace of business that I used to deal with; how clients signed contracts and my income was constant.” 

 That was pretty much the end of the light conversation. But me being me, most conversations continue chattering in my head a long time after they have ended. Having an ideal business pace (how it was before the pandemic to be exact) or steady income is guaranteed to dib the biggest pie chart in this equation. We can read all the financial reports and outlooks that The Economist magazine publishes pivot on our strategies, but deep inside we know that worry and wonder are lurking still. Put that aside for now as we all know there is more to life than only money. 

Here are some of the things that I miss from life before this (again, ugh…) pandemic: 

 1. Not feeling like there is a weight on my shoulders. Literally and figuratively. I miss not having to pop painkillers as often as I do today because my migraine is throbbing from all the uncertainty 

2. I miss being able to travel, flying (despite my fear) to see family anytime I wanted to. I did not use that privilege as often when I had the chance to, and it’s saddening 

3. Seeing Bali busy. I miss entering a packed restaurant and to see if the wait staff are smiling (today, we can only guess it from their squinting eyes. Joining traditional ceremonies that are dotted with people in their Sunday best, and reading news about how hotels are fully booked. Missing that too! 

4. Going to bookstores and hanging out there for hours picking out new reads without having to apply hand sanitizers every five minutes, or every time after I touched a book. Shopping online works for so many but there is something about a bookstore experience that no online shopping can aid. Also, how can you buy a book without smelling them first? 

5. Arranging my marathon races! And there will be a post solely on this subject. Keep an eye out.

An INTJ through and through, I have to admit my social life may not make it to my list’s top five. Although I do understand how it can be a positive influence for those who gain their energy from frequently being with others. I want that to happen again too. 

 How about you?


(Illustration from The Quint)

Jan 26, 2021

A Major Deal

Amidst a sea of Bernie Sanders’ memes, Champ and Major also made global headlines when they ended a first-time, four-year hiatus with no dogs joining the incumbent President at the White House.


The spotlight shone brightly on Major, as he made a historical paw print as the first ever shelter dog to make it to the famous 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue address. 
I am one of those people who celebrated this, and as much as I want to write an essay on its importance, this short post will do for now. 


True, Major may be the luckiest one who made the journey from a shelter to being fostered and then moving to the fanciest of all home addresses. 
I am here to say that in the eyes of all rescued and adopted dogs, your house is a “White House” too. 


They will destroy your sofa, chew your furniture, eat your socks, hide your shoes (the left ones only, God knows why), and keep you awake with their antics. Sure, you have no security guard or a large enough lawn, and they probably take up all the space in your living room alone. But to them, just opening your house is a life altering moment they deserve. A family, a home, and maybe an IG account. 

Please. Seriously consider rescue or adoption, over buying. Changing one dog's life promotes better environment that is free of strays, diseases, muling, and of course abuse.

Also, the narrative will be magical from the dogs’ world of news headlines. It will be better, if not…the best. 

Now, how's this sound?

“Brownie the Mutt is now living with a family of five and adjusting well to excessive kisses from the toddler.” THE DOGS GAZETTE 




Photo taken from People

Jan 21, 2021

Forty One

 So, 41 happened. 

I turned 41 last week, 11th January. With no intention of making resolutions, I am posting this as a journal of gratitude and if I'm being honest, a nervous list of hopes and plans.

Two things:

1. Business (or, the lack thereof)

Some new strategies are to be implemented. The last 10 months was a topsy turvy one as we had to yield into a suffering demand. I have been reading articles from The Economists to feed my starving mind and cannot help but feeling mind boggled about it. It will not be an easy one, surprise surprise... But I need to gear myself up, physically by going back to training, emotionally by keep writing, and spiritually by drawing myself even closer to Jesus.

2. Relationship

I want the real thing, or nothing at all. Like I wrote here: THE relationship





Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...