Jan 19, 2026

Our Baptism Story


April 2025.

At the time, Yovan didn’t feel the need to be baptised again, though he understood why others did and promised to support me. A week before the baptism, he gently said, “I believe I need to be baptised too.”
Here's the thing: many congregants hold different views on baptism. While this post isn't a campaign to any particular values, we hesitated to share our story. I shared my experiences, but those involving Yovan were to remain private for the right moment.


Yovan had a good reason; he wanted to show his growth before sharing his baptism story. I, however, felt differently—I wanted to express how much I loved Him and how He saved me. Both agreed not to offend anyone or create unnecessary drama.

But why are we more concerned about offending the world than pleasing God?

There was much to endure after the baptism. Yovan and I have been in a long-distance marriage for nearly six months. He devoted himself to his mother, who was entering palliative care. From afar, I watched him care for her—preparing meals, administering medications, cleaning her colostomy bag, and being by her side as cancer took her memories, up to her last breath.
There were nights he called me at 2 AM to cry and worship, the sounds of his mother’s pain in the background.

Then, a few weeks after his mum passed away, Yovan said, “Without the baptism, we would not be able to stand the test."

So, that was my cue. I'm sharing this with immense gratitude.

(Galatians 3:27) For all of you who were baptised in Christ have clothed yourself in Christ."

Jan 14, 2026

On Mothering and Being Mothered

 


The other night, I was feeling hot and bothered and just battling my way to sleep (hot flashes?). Feeling even more depressed from doom-scrolling, I decided to sleep on the floor with the air-con blasting over me.
Marilyn's spot was on the other side of the room, but despite being deaf, she noticed my hassle and inched her frail body to sleep next to me.

Her sweet powdery face, her gentle breath. A warrior who's been fighting epilepsy yet still decided to be with us with all her strength and grace, 

I teared up a bit, telling her thank you. She knew I needed that. But maybe after 13 years, you can't help but just...know? 


Yovan thought something was wrong but when he spotted us like this, he knew the assignment and took this picture. 

It felt like motherhood. I said to him in the morning. A brief moment, simple, yet brims over my heart, heals my deflated spirits. But at the same time, I was also tasting a hint of being mothered by her. 
The world may scream no. It's not motherhood. Not even close.

But my heart, with my armour lowered, whispers yes ❤️

And that, is enough for me.

Mother in Law Love

 


My late mom in law often started our video call convo with a gleeful "Hello. Oh wow you look so beautiful (fresh, cute, chic)!"
No matter what I was wearing, with make up, or just woke up.

Then I started to realise something. It's not really about my look. It's her and her words.

I always knew she would compliment me so I always always smiled even before the line was connected. Always. 


She will forever be missed. 



Jan 1, 2026

5 Buku Terbaik Tahun 2025

Dalam unggahan ini, saya hendak berbagi judul buku favorit saya di tahun 2025. 

Bukan buku yang terbit tahun 2025, melainkan 5 favorit dari 10 buku yang tamat dibaca tahun kemarin ❤️


Dearly oleh Margaret Atwood- Bukan penawar dari “The Handmaids’ Tale”, ini adalah suara puitis seorang perempuan tentang luka, renungan, dan politik. Banyak tokoh dongeng yang tiba-tiba muncul. Cocok untuk santai atau jadi teman perjalanan.


Ragam Ni Si Marian oleh Kartini Sjahrir- Kisah hidup Marian, si boru Batak perawat, mengingatkan saya pada novel Marga T yang saya curi baca dulu. Deskripsi ringan dan harmoninya dengan sang Bapak memberi harapan di tengah nilai patriarki Batak yang cadas ini.


The Thing Around Your Neck oleh Chimamanda N. Adichie- Saya membaca empat buku Adichie tahun ini! Dan tahun 2025 adalah tahun dimana saya membaca buku ini untuk kedua kali. Kaya akan kerisauan dan pemikiran visioner, ini adalah buku tepat untuk mulai menjelajah karya Adichie. Setelah itu, coba “Purple Hibiscus”!


Invisible Women oleh Caroline C. Perez- Siapa sangka banyak penelitian mengabaikan perempuan? Buku ini mengungkap bagaimana gadget, obat-obatan, dan kebijakan sering diciptakan tanpa memperhitungkan fakta biologis, fisiologis, maupun fungsi sosial perempuan. Ever wonder why some drugs don't work for us women? Read this one.

Perempuan oleh Mochtar Lubis- Kumpulan cerita pendek dengan perempuan sebagai pusatnya. Favorit saya? “Sinyo Brandi” dan “Pak Siman dan Bini-Bininya.” Siap-siap tertawa (dan meringis) dengan buku ini!

Teman-teman baca buku apa saja 2025 silam?
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