Mar 30, 2024

Beribu Surat

Setelah melewati proses penyuntingan yang cukup panjang, akhirnya buku “Beribu Surat” terbit! 


Buku ini adalah antalogi tulisan dengan pesan beraroma feminisme dari bumi Indonesia.
My work, karya saya berjudul “Surat Dari Janda” bisa ditemukan di halaman 297.


Tulisan tersebut sarat akan cerita dan harapan untuk mendobrak stigma negative kaum janda yang masih negative di mata masyarakat.

Pesan lewat @peretas_id atau @marjinkiri


Penerbitnya, Peretas (Perempuan Lintas Batas) dan Marjinkiri serta semua penulis yang karyanya dimuat dalam buku ini, berderap bersama untuk menyuarakan feminisme lewat sastra dan seni.

Pemesanan bisa lewat @peretas_id atau @marjinkiri
Kiranya bisa dinikmati.

#rewritetherules


Mar 6, 2024

Bukan Hanya Kartini

Nama harumnya memang pas sekali menjadi lirik lagu ciptaan WR Supratman, Ibu Kita Kartini. Dan tentu, jasanya jelas bisa kita nikmati. Keleluasaan saya menulis artikel ini adalah salah satunya. 

Bicara mengenai Kartini adalah baik, merayakannya adalah lebih baik lagi. Namun yang terbaik adalah juga membicarakan berbagai hal yang nyaris tak terdengar.

  1. Yang jarang diakui, Kartini adalah exhibit A dari sebuah kenyataan: Pengetahuan perempuan dan kesohorannya sangat bergantung pada politik lokasi, budaya, dan kelas. Untungnya, Kartini menggunakan privilege yang Ia miliki dengan benar
  2. Bukan tidak mungkin Kartini juga tokoh yang “diciptakan” Belanda. Ia berani mengkritik karena berkat pendidikan Belanda yang dapat Ia kecap karena Ia adalah keturunan bangsawan
  3. Belanda saat itu gencar melakukan politik etis. A.k.a politik balas budi. Munculah “story” bahwa perempuan Indonesia kalau mau maju harus ikut pendidikan Belanda; harus memiliki pemikiran seperti yang diajarkan Belanda. "Public Relations." Belanda?
  4. Lewat sura-suratnya, Kartini berhasil mendokumentasikan pengalaman ketertindasannya sebagai perempuan yang hidup dalam kentalnya dunia patriarki dan iklim feodal. Pemikirannya revolusioner, tapi ia tidak sempat (atau urung?) melaksanakan apa yang menjadi pikiran-pikirannya
  5. Penentang poligami ini, juga akhirnya setuju menjadi istri ke empat Bupati Rembang


Tetap, Kartini layak masuk dalam jejeran pahlawan Indonesia. 

Yang perlu kita kritisi, kenapa hanya ada Hari Kartini? Kenapa bukan Hari Pahlawan Perempuan Indonesia?


 

  1. Di Tanah Rencong yang cadas, ada Cut Nyak Dien. Ia adalah panglima perang yang strateginya licin dan sulit ditaklukan Belanda
  2. Rahma el Yunusiyah dari Sumatra Barat mendirikan sekolah untuk perempuan karena dan menolak subsidi karena tak ingin adanya influence dari bangsa penjajah. Di tanah Minang banyak perempuan pendidik yang menolak bantuan dari Belanda dalam mendirikan sekolah-sekolah
  3. Dewi Sartika di ranah Pasundan. Ia mendirikan sekolah-sekolah khusus perempuan yang di dalamnya mengajarkan nilai-nilai kesetaraan
  4. Berapa banyak dari kita yang tahu bahwa Rasuna Said yang namanya dijadikan nama jalan protokol, adalah seorang perempuan pejuang emansipasi yang orasinya keras menentang ketidaksetaraan?


Kartini, seperti bukunya, memang seperti terang yang terbit setelah gelap. Namun, siapa lagi yang sesungguhnya juga membawa terang tersebut? 


Hari ini, kita punya kesempatan untuk memakai terang tadi sebagai pelita yang menyoroti cerita dari perempuan-perempuan lain.


Thank you for your service, Kartini. We’ll take the torch from here… 


Ilustrasi Lee Man Fong




Feb 28, 2024

In search of a chaotic mind remedy

The first two months of 2024 have been a comedy of mishaps in our household. 

I have no details to dispense, but I am here to let you know that it's okay to take a break and lament for a while. 

What I am trying to do now is to look around just within my arm's distance. Look at something I like, someone I love, and take a deep breath. It's that cliché  mantra; "Not everyone has what you have."  

But I cannot say that it will always work its magic. I wish. What's going on in my mind now is a twister of chaotic worry, anger, and sadness snowballing with no ends to be seen.

Have you been in this situation? Have you tried my method, or do you have another trick to handle it?

Zara Picken's illustrates it well here.


Illustration by Zara Picken




Feb 12, 2024

Talk a little nicer

to yourself...

Isn't that a simple yet powerful thing to do? How often do we actually do it? Or have we done it ever?

Isn't that a simple yet powerful thing to do? How often do we do it? Or have we done it ever?

With the Indonesian Presidential Election coming (two more sleep, eeeeeks!), the media platforms have been flooded with news about all three candidates and their vices. Sadly, thanks to social media and its bullet-like speed, so much of the news is either hoaxed or heavily edited to benefit a certain party. They all had a fair share of doing this practice!

Then there's the heartbreaking genocide, the constant domestic abuse and crime news, and more... and more. 

I admit, I have been consuming them all more than I should and it has taken its toll on my sanity. There's this weighing amount of anger, anxiety, and agitation in me and I just do not like the person that I am becoming. So I am pressing a pause button on social media for a few days and see how it goes.

Have you ever taken such an approach? A much-deserved break from the world that does not stop talking just so that you can hear yourself better and talk to yourself nicer?

Did it work?





Feb 5, 2024

A Better Way to Thrift

It has been a minute since I last talked about fashion. I am surprised that I do not write about it often, while it's one of my biggest passions. 

So here's a pop quiz to start the week:


Thrifting, yay or nay?

If you remember my post about Conscious Fashion and our wedding theme;

A Conscious Love Story, you'll know I will forever vouch for thrifting and trying to minimize shopping from fast fashion brands. 

I am not 100% there yet, hence this topic. 


I recently learned a few things:


  1. Here in Indonesia, we have somehow exported second-hand clothes from countries like Korea and China to then be sold on the thrift market. Not sustainable after all isn't it?
  2. Knowing the source is the key to sustainable fashion. Now that I question my first method, I try to buy second items from familiar communities friends, and families
  3. Cost per wear is easily overlooked, but prioritizing quality can get you there. The more often (and longer) you wear the piece, the lower the cost is
  4. Here's a trick to make your fashion items worth more: When you're eyeing a particular item (jeans, blouse, jacket, anything), try to think of at least three styles that you can rock in it. Picture your wardrobe and scan through it with your mind if you already have something similar (chances are, you do). After that, think of at least three items you can pair with the new item. Not two, but three. Got it? If yes, then you can go to the cashier
  5. Organise a garage sale with your group of friends, book club, or church friends? Making "clothes swap" a birthday theme is also a way to make birthdays feel more priceless. 

Illustration by Grace Farris




Jan 23, 2024

Sticky Notes from Dogs

If your dogs could leave you sticky notes, what would it say? 

This illustration by Grace Farris got me beaming! I can imagine it would be Marilyn who wrote: "A new day! How great is that." 

But instead of saying this every morning, Marilyn would feel this way every time she came back from a seizure. It is bittersweet to see her condition these days, but we are holding on to the good ones. 

If you are reading this, I hope you are being gentle to yourself and the people around you. 

The world needs more of that, and it can come from us. 


by Grace Farris



Jan 21, 2024

The waiting room


by Ponomariova_Maria

To the woman holding back her tears behind closed doors

To the ones squalling with fury and those who have yet to hold another stick that says: "It is a no."

A deep breath and a tight hug

To the ones waiting and those who, with all their hearts, are convinced it is time for a different plan, a pivot, or a full-stop
To the big-dark-eyed ones trying to look away as she spotted another woman's glow 
Here’s a smile that signs “I do that too.”


To those who've collected children's books for years hoping that someday, on a perfect day, she gets to read them together with someone she's been waiting for
someone small, all smiles, and smells so sweet, someone uniquely part of her and her loved one
A limerick and a song or two 

To all of you out there
I am here, shelving another hardcover classic and saying that I am thinking about you.




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