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May 31, 2011

Marilyn Monroe

from here

Have you ever judged a person by his or her words? I did. I can sometimes be right as often as I can go wrong. Well, this lady is one of the people I admire the most even with all the ups and downs, the drama and the labels people threw on her. I classify her as a hot mess genius. You don't have to agree. But I know I am right on this one.

May 26, 2011

S#*! My Dad Says

S#*! My Dad Says ? The title has nothing to do with my Dad. But yes this book hypnotized me. What?... another post about book? Call me bookish! I am juggling 2 books at the same time because I cant decide which one to go first! They are both too interesting. This one is hilarious and real as it is edgy and somehow like a brilliant idea. It actually came out from this twitter account! Almost one million people follow Mr Halpern’s philosophical musings every day on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his sayings. What emerges is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father and son relationship from a major new comic voice. As Justin says at one point, his dad is ‘like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair’; and this is the sort of sh*t he says..like: " You worry too much. Eat some bacon...What? No, I got no idea if it'll make you feel better, I just made too much bacon." OR " The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain't like he knows the cure for cancer and just ain't spitting it out."AND " I don't give a shit what time you get home, just don't wake me up. That's your curfew: not waking me up."

Well, whether or not your Dad is quite the "character" , this book is a worth the treasure. 



The Halpern boys with their father in 1983



All images from amazon .

Dance First. Think Later. (If you must think anyway)

An interesting book. I got this from my sister who actually is not a bookish like me but somehow attracted by the cute title by Kathryn and Ross Petras. Dance First Think Later is a collection of the greatest life wisdom from an unexpected group of speakers, doers, and thinkers. There are 618 rules to live by—funny, sly, declarative, thoughtful, offhanded, clever, and always profound. Some of my favorites:

“If everything is under control, you are going too slow.” —Mario Andretti
“Never make a credit decision on a beach.”—Victor J. Boschini
“Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.”—Oscar Wilde

I will add some more as I go through the pages.
So, you agree with the title? I say, dance first, think later... oh wait, dance first, have a gin and tonic then, think. If you must.



May 25, 2011

Coming Home

Yes. I am back at the airport. Destination? Bali. Yes, my meetings went well. Yes, I got to meet my Nephew and read him books. Yes it was good seeing the capitol again and as much as I cursed the traffic and the grey sky, I had a great time too. I got tons of new dvds and I got a new book from my sister. Yes, some part of me still belong to the city. But I am so looking forward to be breathing in Bali's air again. Yes, There may be time where I get to chose, or if fate decides I have to be in the city life again... but now... I say.. Bali, I am coming home to you.

this is is taken by my friend. an awesome photographer



May 22, 2011

Jakarta Enroute

Hi there! This is to let you know that I am writing this at the airport while waiting for my flight to the so called hustle city I used to call home, Jakarta. A business trip which gets me very nervous on several areas. Other than I have so many clients to meet, I don't know if I can handle the traffic well. Jakarta is a place of many-many options, not to mention all the gigantic corporate establishments, entertainment, historical places and yes... shopping centers. But, I have been spoiled with the beauty of the little paradise ;Bali, where I don't have to spare 1 or 2 hours to be "just fine" with the traffic, where the first things I want to find out when I wake up is; how blue is the sky today?, am I going to get a chance to feed a squirrel again today? Is the water will be warm enough for me to take a dip by the ocean?
Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against the city I am heading to, I even look forward to some spots. But, anyhow, wish me luck. Business trip, commute issues and a chance to kiss my Nephew and read him a new book I just got him! As for Jakarta, please be nice to me. 

 the source states this image is from the 70's

May 19, 2011

Baby Talk

Do you baby talk? I know its not advised but sometimes I cannot help it. I think I automatically switch to this tone whenever I got a chance to snuggle with a cute baby. So far, my Nephew and baby Cousins.
Apparently, babies, even as newborns, mimic their parents' accents. For example, German babies' cries gravitate to lower pitches, and French babies melodically lilt up at the end of their cries. How adorable is that?. Find more info about it  here .
I am not a Momma yet, so I guess i can goo..goo..gaa..gaaa...as much as I want. Till then.
2 y/o Joseph. talks in a very high pitch. Like his Mom :)

May 18, 2011

World's oldest panda dies in Chinese zoo at age 34

Chinese state media say the world's oldest panda has died at the age of 34.
The Global Times reported that Ming Ming had kidney failure. She had been living at a zoo or preserve in Guangdong province.

The China Panda Protection Center in Sichuan province said in a statement she died May 7, but it was reported only Tuesday in local media. More details about her were not available. The newspaper said wild pandas live 15 years on average and captive ones 22 years.

Giant pandas are among the world's most endangered species, with about 1,600 in the wild. More than 300 are in captivity in China, most in a breeding program aimed at boosting the population. The country also loans pandas to zoos worldwide.

Source :Associated Press, Beijing | Tue, 05/17/2011 9:29 PM | World 

Ming Ming during her stay at London Zoo in the 1990s. Photograph: Glenn Copus/Rex Features

 

May 17, 2011

Snap shot or Cake?

My sister sent these to me. I am guessing she knows that I will like it and I do! They are pictures from the birthday celebration of my Nephew. Yes, he is that little dude turning 4 this year and the girl posing next to him is actually my Cousin, Audina Simanjuntak. 

Can you see that expression on Joseph Kiyoshi? A mischievous smiley face- pretending that he cares about the photo taking while his cuddly fingers are reaching for the cake's icing. Nice!


Second attempt. better- although J.Kiyoshi seems to be in a hesitation :p

Saya dan Sepeda mini dari majalah Bobo

Saya punya banyak pengalaman indah masa kecil. Kenangan pahit juga tak kalah banyak, tapi itu kurang menarik untuk dibahas. Salah satu kenangan yang tiba-tiba terlintas adalah mengenai betapa saya sangat menikmati lembar demi lembar majalah anak-anak, Bobo. Saya lupa, hadirnya setiap hari apa. Mungkin Selasa. Selain cerita mengenai keluarga kelinci yang menurut saya manis, saya juga selalu terpesona oleh cerita Nirmala dan Oki, bahkan tips-tips yang berkaitan dengan prakarya sekolah atau hal berbau PKK lainnya. Cerita pendek didalamnya juga sering saya baca berulang-ulang. Saat itu, Bobo sarat pesan tapi tidak terlalu berlebihan. Saya tidak tahu bagaimana bobotnya sekarang. Semoga semakin baik.

Hal lain yang selalu jadi penyemangat saya adalah majalah ini memiliki rubrik kuis yang mengharuskan kita menjawab beberapa pertanyaan, mengirimkan foto atau cerita singkat. Hadiah utamanya… Sebuah sepeda mini!
Setiap minggunya, akan ada foto seorang anak sekolah- seusia saya saat itu- berpose di depan sepeda mini barunya bersama kepala sekolah (karena Bobo mengirimkan si sepeda mini ke sekolah, mengingat kampanyenya sebagai teman bermain dan belajar).
Hmm.. sepeda mini yang cantik mengilap, dengan boncengan di belakang dan keranjang di depan.

Jadi saya punya mau. Saya mau tampil di majalah, bersama kepala sekolah saya yang galak, memegang sepeda mini hadiah dari majalah Bobo. Semua kuis dan sayembara, pertanyaan dan macam-macam lainnya saya ikuti. Jawaban pertanyaan cukup kita tulis diatas selembar kartu pos (saya ingat warnanya oranye pucat dan tipis sekali), tempelkan perangko, kirim lewat kantor pos. Beres. Tinggal berdoa, berharap mujizat berbentuk roda dua dengan boncengan di belakang dan keranjang di depan itu hadir di hadapan kita. Hadiah lain juga ada, “bingkisan”misalnya (entah isinya apa). Tapi tak ada yang lebih berkilau dari sebuah sepeda mini! Tak ada yang pakai embel-embel bonus berfoto bersama kepala sekolah.Menabung di celengan ayam saat itu bukan menjadi pilihan, karena itu artinya saya harus beli,bukan menang kuis, dan tidak bisa masuk majalah Bobo. Jadilah saya melahap kuis-kuis tersebut.
from flickr
Bisa ditebak, tidak pernah sekalipun saya memenangkan kuis tersebut. Pun sebagai pemenang hiburan. Sepeda mini pertama saya adalah hadiah dari Ayah saya, yang harus saya pakai bergantian dengan adik saya. Dan pastinya, tidak bisa saya bawa ke sekolah untuk sekedar difoto. Sepeda itu saya dapatkan setelah melewati tahun demi tahun trial and error untuk mendapatkannya lewat kuis berhadiah.Anehnya, tahun dimana saya berhenti mengirimkan jawaban kuis bukan di tahun saya mendapatkan sepeda gratis, tetapi sesudahnya.

Saya jadi berpikir,kalau saya berkarunia anak nanti. Kalau mereka memiliki wish list, akankah wish list itu disertai bayangan akan proses yang harus dikerjakan? Seperti contoh sepeda mini impian ( harus isi kuis atau TTS dulu, tulis jawaban di perangko, tempel perangko, jalan kaki ke kantor pos)  yang dilakukan setidaknya beratus kali. Kecil kemungkinan mereka akan menginginkan sebuah sepeda mini.  Gadget terbaru lebih masuk akal. Tapi, apakah mereka akan meminta saja dan menunggu saya sebagai orangtua untuk memberikannya secara cuma-cuma?. 

Jelas, bukan dosa kalau kita memberikannya secara gratis, untuk anak, darah daging. Tapi, apakah tidak lebih baik kalau kita tidak membatasi imajinasi, kreatifitas, usaha anak dalam mendapatkan apa yang diinginkannya? Melatih ketekunannya bahkan sebelum kita melepas dia menjadi manusia dewasa? . Banyak yang menerapkan; nilai sekolah sempurna adalah syarat untuk dapat barang A atau B. Dan itu tidak salah. Jengkelnya, dulu saya hanya dapat senyuman jika nilai saya sempurna, atau jika peringkat tiga besar di tangan. Karena orangtua saya percaya namanya pelajar ya sudah seharusnya belajar, sudah seharusnya dapat nilai bagus. Bukan mereka tidak menghargai, tetapi karena mereka mau anak-anak mereka meraih potensi yang lebih lagi.  Yang saya maksud orangtua disini adalah Kakek, Nenek dan Ayah saya. Kalau Ibu saya lebih santai. Ibu saya adalah tameng saya kalau saya sedang malas dan sesekali mau bolos. Dan saya mencintai dia untuk itu. :)

Kartu pos yang saya maksudkan
Saya punya banyak kakak sepupu, Paman dan kerabat yang saya tahu menghadapi pilihan-pilihan atau jalan hidup yang tidak semudah yang saya alami. Sekarang, betapa mereka menjadi teladan dan tidak jarang menjadi berkat bagi orang lain. Jangankan mimpi soal sepeda mini, bisa makan telur saja hanya kalau sedang ada ujian di sekolah. 
Mungkin saya bisa pakai cerita mereka sebagai contoh bagi anak-anak saya kelak, supaya mau berlatih menempakan usaha pada impian, melakukan tindakan sebagai proses pencapaian harapan. Bukan hanya berharap.

Apakah saya tidak tergoda untuk memanjakan mereka nanti? Bisa jadi. Tetapi saya mau belajar menjadi orang tua yang lebih kreatif, lebih menantang. Saya bukan tidak ingin memberikan seluruh isi dunia ini pada mereka, tapi saya lebih tertarik mengenalkan mereka pada esensi kerja keras dan kegigihan. Dan jangan lupa, belajar tertawa saat gagal. Bohong kalau saya bilang saya tidak pernah menangis saat sadar saya lagi-lagi tak jadi pemenang. Tapi ada saat dimana saya akhirnya bisa menghela napas, tersenyum, bahkan tertawa menghadapinya.

Karena menurut pengalaman saya sampai hari ini, itu adalah bekal terbaik yang pernah diberikan kepada saya. Sedangkan si sepeda mini, bisa terabaikan kapan saja.

Semoga saya bisa.

Majalah Bobo saat pertama terbit di tahun 1974




May 15, 2011

A Cute little Old Story of a Broken Heart

Most of the people I know in life understand that I had a really close relationship with my Dad. It has been years since he passed on to Heaven, and I don't think there will ever be a day that I can go through without thinking about him. Not in a sad memoirs but in love and honor. Our relationship was more like two friends from different generations -not trying to make it work but it did. We talked about everything. One thing that I know for sure I can treasure to be a parameter of knowing how close we were is that I happen to know his "broken hearted" story! 

Yes, a cute little story from back when he was in Junior high- he fell for this girl, wrote the girl a love letter and got a total rejection. We were sitting in our dinning room- I  remember vaguely- and he actually made this cute expression when pouring the story to me- his oldest daughter. He was so broken hearted ... The 13 years old self of my Dad actually cried because of this girl...:(( .
It was his first crush.
I remember saying that I am actually happy that the girl turned him down; because he then met my Mother (well years and years after), the love of his life. 

Well, I don't know if many of people can get to know some little facts about their parents. If you do, consider yourself blessed. If not, why not finding out now? Do you know how your parents met? Their favorite date? Who cried at their wedding?

This post is just to celebrate that today; I am reminded of my Dad with a fond and graceful heart.
Bapak, Luther Hutasoit, 1973

Give Thanks

I got some great news this week. Yes, some. Hard work, perseverance-pays off indeed. I also got an inquiry on a project that I am so longing for. Well, that is not wrapped up yet, but I know it will.I cannot get into details now ( hint: one to thank for is my boss ;)) but here's to say how thankful I am. Heart.heart.
from Etsy

Happy Sunday, loved ones

It is only 8 AM and I already have 5 things to be thankful for;
  • A beautiful blue sky that greets me as I open my drapes.
  • I ran out of coffee, so I get to walk for a few minutes to get some- unscheduled exercise can do you good.
  • I still hold a dearly fun short conversation over a gin and tonic and pizza (oh well) from last night with my friends. Yes I mean you Tine and Silvia.
  • One of my sister texted that she misses me and cannot wait to spend time together in Bali.
  • My one irritating acne is starting to blemish.... OK.. that's 5 already. So I got to stop, at least for now.
also from dear colleen

Perempuan Pembelajar

Sedikit berbagi.
Banyak yang mempertanyakan dari mana ide-ide saya berasal, dan lebih jauh lagi menebak bahwa saya memiliki kepahitan di masa lalu dan hendak menyuarakan lagi soal feminisme, atau bahkan mencurigai saya akan membentuk komplotan sexist di masa yang akan datang.
Saya jadi membayangkan, akan mengundang Eve Ensler sebagai pembicara, menyebarkan traktat karya De Beauvoir dan meminta semua perempuan jangan berdandan cantik dan sexy lagi . Lucu juga.

Tapi begini….
Terlepas dari mana yang benar dari semua dugan diatas, tidak pernah terlintas di benak saya untuk mewakili suara seluruh perempuan di dunia ini. Perempuan sekarang jauh lebih kompleks, jauh lebih berwarna-warni dan saya tahu pasti saya belum punya cukup pengalaman, kebijakkan ataupun pengetahuan untuk bisa merangkum semua itu menjadi satu atau dua alinea dalam puisi pun cerita pendek yang saya lahirkan. Saya masih terlalu mentah untuk bisa menggurui, dan saya termasuk Perempuan yang berbahagia dengan kehidupan ini. Mungkin karena saya sudah terbiasa menyuarakan pendapat, mungkin karena saya memang hidup di tengah-tengah keadaan yang menyenangkan, yang kalau dipikir-pikir, memang kita sendiri yang menentukan.

Semua tulisan ini, adalah proses pembelajaran. Bisa dari kehidupan saya pribadi, teman, lawan, atau kejadian terkecil sekalipun atau bahkan binatang dan alam. Tidak ada usaha men doktrin, karena bisa saja saya akan sampai pada kebijakkan atau pemahaman baru beberapa tahun mendatang. Dan semua catatan ini hanya akan jadi pengingat saya akan apa yang sudah, belum, atau yang harus saya pelajari berkali-kali macam mata pelajaran Matematika dulu.

Kadang sedikit nyeleneh itu perlu, supaya hidup tidak membosankan, asal jangan terlalu sering. Bicara sedikit keras juga dibutuhkan, kalau sekitarmu memang menunjukkan tanda-tanda tuli. Tapi saya tidak mengatakan inilah bentuk dunia keseluruhan, tidak mengatakan pengaplikasiannya bisa dilakukan dimana saja. Banyaknya Lelaki yang melecehkan Perempuan mungkin sama banyaknya dengan Perempuan yang tidak menghargai Laki-laki (atau paling tidak Perempuan yang membiarkan pelecehan itu berlangsung), dan artinya persamaan itu menjurus pada masih banyaknya mahkluk bermutu dari kedua habitat Adam dan Hawa tadi. Saya percaya itu. Hanya karena kita mahkluk yang berbeda, jelas ciri dan indikasinya lain. Dan bukan itu yang sedang kita bahas disini.

Saya masih belajar. Mungkin kamu juga. Dalam proses pembelajaran ini, bukankah lebih menyenangkan kalau kita tidak saling terlau banyak menganalisa dan menghakimi?.
Salam.


"On the day when it will be possible for woman to love not in her weakness but in her strength, not to escape herself but to find herself, not to abase herself but to assert herself--on that day love will become for her, as for man, a source of life and not of mortal danger."
— 
Simone de Beauvoir

May 11, 2011

Paris or New York?







Graphic designer Vahram Muratyan calls it a "friendly visual match between those two cities." Have a look on some other series here: A Tally of Two Cities .
Can you decide which one you like best? I have never been to any of the two, but I will someday. Where to go first? Hmm... J.D Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye is one of my favorite and I like my coffee long and black. So, I guess I have to get on that big yellow taxi first before walking around with a long shawl and a striped french like navy dress. Another reason of course because I speak the language and have no problem on rocking the accent. Thanks to those NYC setting series :). Whilst French? Trop difficile!

May 10, 2011

A Loser like Me

Are you a Gleek? I may not watch every single episode of it, but this one, I admit- has this astonishing song performance. In the 2nd season regional episode, the New Directions glee clubbers decide to write their own original songs for the competition, resulting in this little gem of an anthem, “Loser Like Me.”
What do you think of Glee’s “Loser Like Me?” .To me, it sends just a perfect message to those feeling like one- loser. I've been there. Well, maybe not exactly like being treated bad by the mean girls. I've been labeled loser- for some of the actions and choices I made, labeled useless for my past, and for who I am. I care much?... Back then yes. I tried so hard to prove them wrong, for .. Nothing. Now, I embrace, celebrate, appreciate all the flaws, bits and pieces of mistakes that are taking  the shape of who I am now.

watch the video here


Yeah, you may think that I’m a zero
But, hey, everyone you wanna be
Probably started off like me
You may say that I’m a freakshow (I don’t care)
But, hey, give me just a little time
I bet you’re gonna change your mind
All of the dirt you’ve been throwin’ my way
It ain’t so hard to take, that’s right
‘Cause I know one day you’ll be screamin’ my name
And I’ll just look away, that’s right
Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth
So everyone can hear
Hit me with the words you got and knock me down
Baby, I don’t care
Keep it up, I’m tunin’ up to fade you out
You wanna be
You wanna be
A loser like me
A loser like me
Push me up against the locker
And hey, all I do is shake it off
I’ll get you back when I’m your boss
I’m not thinkin’ ’bout you haters
‘Cause hey, I could be a superstar
I’ll see you when you wash my car
All of the dirt you’ve been throwin’ my way
It ain’t so hard to take, that’s right
‘Cause I know one day you’ll be screamin’ my name
And I’ll just look away, that’s right”

May 9, 2011

My Cup of Tea

Apparently the blocked nose has decided to get worse, bringing this strong headache, aching body and a very repetitive sneeze. Not good. I hate being sick and I refuse to get sick... And since I am not a big fan of drugs- I am counting on the traditional cajuput oil and a cup of hot hot tea for a true remedy. I already had a chicken broth for dinner. So this should work. Fingers crossed. Namaste.

looks a bit too dark. but i love it.

May 8, 2011

Happy 4th Birthday Joseph!8 May 2011


I remember being all teared up when I first saw you. Not because they gave you a pink blanket, but because you were so made- 8 May 2007-

Well... That was 4 years ago. You rock any color anyhow. Stay blessed my dear nephew.

The Secret Garden- cover by Jillian Tamaki

Growing up, this is one of the books I read over and over again. I still have one copy at home. Now, Jillian Tamaki has finalized a newly embroidered cover for the book- published by Penguin books along with some other titles. Is it worth having to buy the same book just for the sake of the cover? Oh hell yes! And may I remind you that grew up with many-many favorite books... So if Jillian is working on some others from the list I am favoring to, I am so going to buy more:)

Coming out this fall.... Oh..oh cannot wait!


Sunny Sunday

I tried to get at least a 30 minutes walk under the sun today. I got a blocked nose and I know a little sweat can make me feel better. Well, not only that I am feeling so much better at the end of my walk, I also got to witness these views. 

some color huh?

shady walk to the nearest convenient store
clouds looking like a vanilla cotton candy

a bird having some "me time"

What's your Sunday views?

Celebrate, Mothers!

Happy International Mother's day to all the women with this great noble role!

Mother and Child by Louis Toffoli

May 7, 2011

Papa can you hear me?

My dear cousin post this video of Charlotte Chruch on my profile. One amazing song by a truly talented woman. But since I have such adoration in words, I am here to post the lyric. It has touched the very inside of me. "Papa, Can You Hear Me?" is a 1983 song, performed by Barbra Streisand for the film Yentl. The song was composed by Michel Legrand, with lyrics by Alan Bergman and Marilyn Bergman.

God 
Oh God 
May the light,
Illuminate the night, the way your spirit illuminates my soul
Papa, can you hear me? 
Papa, can you see me? 
Papa, can you find me in the night? 
Papa, are you near me? 
Papa, can you hear me? 
Papa, can you help me not be frightened? 
Looking at the skies, I seem to see a million eyes 
Which ones are yours? 
Where are you now that yesterday 
Has waved goodbye and closed its door? 
The night is so much darker, 
The wind is so much colder 
The world I see is so much bigger 
Now that I'm alone 
Papa, please forgive me 
Try to understand me 
Papa, don't you know I had no choice? 
Can you hear me praying, 
Anything I'm saying, 
Even though the night is filled with voices? 
I remember ev'rything you taught me 
Ev'ry book I've ever read 
Can all the words in all the books 
Help me to face what lies ahead? 
The trees are so much taller 
And I feel so much smaller 
The moon is twice as lonely 
And the stars are half as bright 
Papa, how I love you 
Papa, how I need you 
Papa, how I miss you 
Kissing me goodnight... 


Just Because

woke up this morning and thinking bout you guys :)

May 6, 2011

Surat cinta untuk Mama

my mom and dad

Dear Mama,
I don’t always understand you. But then again, I also don’t think that it was easy for you to handle my “know it all” attitude, my mood swing, and my tendency to rebel almost everything you said. Back when I was a walking hormone in a growing 16 year old girl body.

Then time travels. And here we are. I am in my 30-ies, well 31 to be exact and you are gracefully reaching 53. We are no longer the same women who keep fighting over our most lovable Man. My Dad, that is. We no longer judge each other choices and decisions. We accept our differences.We stepped out from our long dwell on the past, we embrace future- no matter how shady it sometimes seems.

We don’t see each other as a competition no more, I see you as a personality. You see me as a friend. I see us grow.
Your say, your tears, your grief, your happiness…and the fact that you stand still, even though I know your hardships is eating you out most of the time... Elevates me…

You used to give up easily. Now that you are alone, you grow stronger everyday.
You used to be the weak one, now that you are a grandmother; we cannot imagine how that beautiful grandson of yours ever life without your crazy yet strong strong love.
You used to contra every single thing I do. And now, even at my lowest moment, you got my back.

Happy birthday, Mama. Let us celebrate every bits and pieces that God has placed around you.

Don’t give up. Not now. Especially, not you.

Love,
Proud daughter

ps: And remember, we have a full 4 days tour in Bali arranged for you at the end of this month!

Children's book for grown-ups!

from amazon

Go the F#ck to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don't always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, California Book Award-winning author Adam Mansbach's verses perfectly capture the familiar--and unspoken--tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. In the process, they open up a conversation about parenting, granting us permission to admit our frustrations, and laugh at their absurdity.
With illustrations by Ricardo Cortes, Go the Fuck to Sleep is beautiful, subversive, and pants-wettingly funny--a book for parents new, old, and expectant. You probably should not read it to your children.

May 4, 2011

Menyoal Lelucon yang tak Lucu

Berteman dengan orang dari berbagai kalangan memungkinkan kita belajar banyak. Baik mengenai karakter, budaya, latar belakang pendidikan ataupun bahkan soal kepercayaan dan atau nilai-nilai lain. Saya penikmat proses pembelajaran. Proses pembelajaran yang bukan melulu harus saya kenyam dibangku instansi pendidikan, atau semata-mata hanya lewat buku ilmiah, atau biografi orang kenamaan yang dulu sering disodorkan oleh kakek saya.

Satu hal yang saya pelajari; titel, posisi sesorang ternyata tidak selamanya bisa saya jadikan parameter kecerdasan budaya atau estetika manusianya. Mungkin saya yang terlalu mengkotak-kotakkan orang, mungkin saya terlalu naïf, atau berharap terlalu banyak dari penghuni-penghuni dunia yang ada di sekitar saya. Yang jelas, saya mengira pertemanan saya sudah cukup tersaring dan tertata dan saya tidak akan memiliki baik satu atau dua teman yang punya kebiasaan : Mengirimkan lelucon yang mengandung mengandung unsur pronografi.

Satu atau dua lelucon , saya masih bisa mengabaikannya. Buat saya, pilihan "end chat”pada fitur pesan singkat di ponsel pintar sangat berguna adanya. Tapi lama kelamaan, setiap lelucon yang semakin sering dikirimkan bukan hanya menjadikan saya mulai menilai si pengirim ini seorang pervert, tetapi juga membuat saya mampu memvisualisasikan dia sebagai orang yang kurang punya pendidikan soal etika dan bukan tidak mungkin- kurang menghargai perempuan. Mungkin dia lupa, mahkluk yang melahirkan dia itu, perempuan.

Jangan salah, saya penyuka lelucon. Bagi saya, tanpa selera humor, dunia ini bisa jadi lebih panas daripada kenyataannya. Tapi sayangnya lelucon mengandung unsur pornografi hanya akan menjadikan perempuan sebagai objek seks semata, sebagai yang diminta, sebagai yang di eksplotasi dan seperti tidak punya jiwa. Bukan urusan saya jika selera humor kita berbeda. Bukan masalah saya jika hanya hal itu yang ada di otak mereka.  Tapi, menjadi pemikiran saya jika hal itu disebarkan, dan bukan tidak mungkin kalau kita bisa mengkategorikannya sebagai bibit-bibit pelecehan, cikal bakal tindak kekerasan.

Tidak sedikit perempuan yang memilih untuk menjadi praktisi dalam dunia prostistusi, terlibat cinta terlarang, atau jadi "simpanan". Ya, ini soal pilihan. Dan saya tidak berada pada posisi untuk menghakimi. Saya bicara soal saya pribadi yang memilih untuk tidak mempermudah semakin besarnya komoditas perempuan jadi barang dagangan. Sekecil apapun efek dari catatan pribadi ini.

Catatan ini juga bukan untuk kaum pria. Cara memberhentikan- atau paling tidak mengurangi "pemakluman" dunia ini menjadikan perempuan sebagai objek, tidak cukup hanya lewat wacana. Perempuannya yang harus bersikap. Saya memilih untuk tidak terlalu mengakrabi pribadi yang menggembar –gemborkan lelucon soal perempuan, saya memilih untuk tidak tertawa jika lelucon seperti itu disampaikan, saya memilih untuk bersuara kalau tersakiti, saya memilih untuk lebih sedikit memiliki teman tapi saya tahu;  saya, perempuan, menempati tempat yang benar di mata mereka. Bukan minta diperlakukan sebagai putri raja, … hanya diperlakukan dengan benar.Itu sudah cukup untuk jadi landasan. Walau sepertinya saat ini, itu sudah terdengar sebagai permintaan yang berlebihan?

reducing violence against women