Strong Woman

This is to celebrate my 4th year being a Balinese.
May His blessings always be with me.
Amen.

Goodbye Kiss

Run along like I’m supposed to, be the (wo)man I ought to
Rock and Roll, sent us insane, I hope someday that we will meet again...

Ps: You know who you are...

Toss a coin

I actually have tried this before, and asking my friend to do the same. Being a realist, this does not compute to me at all, but I did  it anyway. 

And I might do it again.

How much you love to...

A dear friend just told me this... In another words, of course. But the message conveyed by her is now filling my heart up to the rim!

Someday, I will stop this keep-my-head-above-the-water act and just swim my way to... you know what.

ps: I cannot even say the word. I am that hopeless!

Immeasurably More

I asked for a little house in the middle of nowhere. Because that was what my understanding can measure and compute, based on what I think I can afford.
He gave me a beautiful home with a backyard... In Bali.

I asked for friends. He keeps giving me families.

I asked for a job that pays the bill. He gave me passion in doing it too. And some extra for me to share.

I asked so that every one of my siblings will finish college no matter how hard the situation is... Not only that He made it done, He also blessed them with jobs just right after graduation.

I prayed for forgiveness... for a break-through after my darkest times... He said "Everything is done."

I asked for a normal life, He showed me that His work is larger than ordinary, bigger than average, greater than life itself.

For a child of my own, I did ask for that too... And He gave me strength to overcome the suffer from loss and the patience to wait on His timing, because He knows that it will take more than a submissive heart and a parenting blood to raise one.
I begged for a perfect health... He gave me a chance to show gratitude in taking care of my self... to have faith in His miraculous work.

Now... I am asking for something I have never asked before. Something I never thought I need. Something I almost could never believe.

And with a pounding heart, I am telling you, I just cannot wait to see His answer.

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory. — Ephesians 3:20-21.

Enough said.

Kasabian- LSF

One of the hottest song ever made. In my opinion.

And when it comes to music (just like in any other cases), my opinion is always right.

Have a great weekend sweethearts!

Banana Bread Idolatry

As a 'not a big fruit eater', I have a strange soft spot for... carrot cake and banana bread!
I do not have many friends sharing this particular fetish so imagine my euphoria when I found out that this beautiful little girl is sharing the same palate! Her name is Cilla, and she is the daughter of my good friend -and a neighbor- Ami.

Last week, on a ladies-only-coffee-date, Cilla told me that she believes in fairies and asked me what I believed in. I told her... I believe in Nutella. She laughed!

Here's some photos of me in a making believe scene and with Cilla after wolfing two slices of banana bread with my "secret" recipe: Add a spread of Nutella and Peanut butter on it! Trust me!

Fear no Storm

My storm is health related. Not easy to do. But I am doing it.
So help me God.

What is really in your bag?

Let us do a pop quiz this Sunday!

Emily McDowell, one of my favorite illustrators; is asking us one pressing question every month. My first attempt to join her in her randomness is to answer the above question:

So, I will let you to take a snoop in to my hand bag:

• You will always find a pair of shades. 
• Hmm... aspirin and my pink pills. Such a bad popper!
• A small beauty kit. And I mean small. I am diligent in cleaning them up. I do not bring eye-shadows and or blush in many colors. But I will always have my hot-red lipstick. To make me feel all put up together whenever I needed to and my Tarte blush in peach.
• Wet tissues and hair brush.
• My mobile. One device only. As a not-so-much-of-a-gadget-freak, I can be very faithful to one mobile device. To the last day the machine gave up on me, I will never look for a replacement.
• My ipod touch. We have been together since 2009 and through a lot of ups and downs... 
• One book I currently am reading and or a copy of current issue of Reader's Digest.
• A bottle of EDP or body spray. Depending on what I have in the agenda after work.
• One notebook and a pen.
• A pair of extra-just-in-case earrings.
• One tube of Xylitol.
• Receipts...

Just Breathe

One of the songs I know I want to be played in my funeral.

I will never get tired of your work, Mr. Vedder.

Intimidate much?

Well I never felt that way before... but my best girlfriends (and some guy friends!) starting to nudge this out of me!

So, I can come across as intimidating to the guy that I am with. Not to friends nor colleagues because I pretty much let my hair down when I am with them. But relationships get me nervous and I always put one shield before another to protect myself from getting hurt. The best way to do that is to be... cocky, bossy and to be "Miss-I-always-have-an-opinion-about-anything", or as my best friend Ria would say"Miss-Whoever-You-are".

Guilty. I do that to any guy that I was with.

I am not here to speak for all the ladies with this post, obviously... But just in case you are the type that will not enjoy being too close to an intimidating lady, I will give you a hint or two to recognise them instantly.

These are their (or, my species) symptoms and I am taking the liberty to use the word "we"

• We will always have an opinion about something. And the deeper we are in disagreement, the more we will enjoy it. It does not matter who will win the argument (oh yes, we look for one), we just enjoy being stimulated that way
• There will never be a day in which we say "Up to you." when a guy asked where to go for dinner. Isn't that why you asked? To get our answer? The closest thing I do to being submissive is to narrow down the option by saying this "Well. I am down with almost anything but NOT restaurant A, B or X..." 
• When we feel like it took the guy ages to pick what he wants from the menu, we will fearlessly make suggestions as in telling you what to order exactly. Not every guy appreciates that... apparently. 
• We will say bluntly if we like you or if what you did make us feel special. But we will also look you in the eyes and say "I do not like what you just said/did...". You do not have to fish for compliments nor a complaint
• If you show respect to your parents, elderly and a waiter, we will praise you for that.
• When we say "I will support you." we mean it with all our heart. Same goes when we say "You are amazing." We mean that
• Taking notes on chivalry gestures is one of our specialties. So yes, we did notice when you wait to take the first bite of your meal after we have ours. Thank you for that.
• We will make sharp feedback if you asked us about work, personal life, or a football match. And we can be soft-spoken about it... but sometimes, maybe... we forget. Not that we do not appreciate you, but it feels enthralling to know that someone that we like and or love wants to know what is on our mind
• This is my personal biggest sin: Around a month after my wedding, I got invited to a dinner event in which my assistant RSVPd with my name that she changed with liberty to my then husband's last name. I did not blame her, she was just making an assumption. But when my then husband and I arrived there, I could not help it. I asked them to change my last name back to my maiden name in the guest list. I did not mean anything to hurt or offend him, no way.. but that's not my name... and nothing can change that
• You can almost hear our eyes roll when you used the so-called pick up lines. And our eyebrows will reach our tip of forehead when you wear ugly shoes. Raising eyebrows! Cannot help it
• If you get sick, we can take care of  you like a protective mama. But do not nag. Just drink that drops, and get better
• We buy our own stuffs and like to point that out to the guy we are in a relationship with. Especially if they are good stuff. No means to be a snob there, we just want them to know that we do not need them to worry about that part in our life. Yes, a beautiful watch can be a nice gesture for our birthdays, or a designer-labeled hand bag. But we will not judge you if it is not a vintage-oyster Rolex or Marc Jacobs. We have that covered. Do not freak out.... 
• It can happen 5 years from now. Or 2. But going back to college is most likely in the agenda
• We know if whether or not we want kids. We know. Just like we know where we want to be in 5 years. Or what to have for dinner
• No matter in what century we are now living, we still expect you to open the door for us. No room for negotiation here
• Befriending us is easy. We can go with friends to a thrift store and we go for cheap lunches. But when it comes to dating, we will judge a man by how much they tip the waiter. This.is.true
• Mortgage of our very own house. Check
• Chanel hand bag, well-taken-care pet. Check. Check
• Vibrator? Oh yes... check
• We secretly think we are smarter than you are. And here's the last one...
• Asking for your opinion in our big life decisions? Only if you survive the above. And that means you are in the safe zone, baby

Those are the one(s) I can see and admit so far
Now I have a question, would you change something about yourself to fill up... let's say, someone's ego? 

Will you go out with a man that is going to tell you to be submissive when you are not?

Is there a safe meet-half-way line in between so you can compromise to keep the relationship? Or to build a solid one?