Feb 22, 2015

How old(er) would you go?

This post is about dating. Not wine.
I have been around long enough to know and understand the many dynamics of relationships. That, combined with paying attention to dating scenes of my surrounding (aka:being a nosy parker) for me to observe, learn and sometimes over-think. 

For the very first time in life, I am now seeing someone who is 12 years older than me. At first, it sounds like a whopping one as I used to date guys my age (and wonder why it did not work, not even close. Doh!)
I did not realize that the gap was that far before he actually mentioned it. I mean, that handsomely cute face of his!

They say age is nothing but a number. Maybe true in some cases. My friend is dating a girl who is 5 years older than him and they seem to get along just perfectly. And not all old wines are up to your liking as it is also very much depending on the dish you are having, and what year it is being uncorked! 

But,  I am so overjoyed with the new feelings and discovering I have never knew of before. I am lucky, I guess. 
  • Different cultural and or social references can be tricky. However, in my case, as I am pretty much an old soul, I love most of the things he likes; books, movies, and vinyls. I also spent most of my childhood with my then teenage uncles and aunt. Which explains why my first ever pin-up poster was… The.Axl.Rose. (One of him biting a single rose? Ya, that one)
  • Wise advice. Or sensible quietness. When I'm upset about something, he will have enough life experience to hand me feedback and insight without sounding preachy. He will also be sensible enough to hand me NO words but comforting hugs and or kissesPs: This can happen ONLY if you are with a good old(er) one. If not, chances are, you’re just getting one with long drugs prescriptions caused by gross habits when he was younger which I need to explain here; smoking, drugs, free sex. Thanks but NO thanks. 
  • If you caught the best one, he can be your walking encyclopedia. Ask away and do not be shy if he thinks you are acting like a 7 year-old. I think I do. But, I like having his knowledge at my fingertips. This pushes me to broaden my horizons in many aspects of life. Many. Including ... 
  • Intimidated? Not in his dictionary. And it makes me feel so comfortable in sharing my opinions. As you know, I always have one. This also shown in how much of a support he is in my career life. He's been through enough to not be afraid that I will cast a shadow. In fact, he's going to help me make mine. While one failure relationship once got me: "You make men feel like they are not man enough." Grow a pair.
  • If he is well traveled and well read, that... my friend,  is a Jackpot. Cha ching! 
  • Best of both worlds. If you and him are from different parts of the world, it will make every conversations, discussions, ideas exchanging even more interesting, stimulating, and mind boggling.
  • Acceptance and deeper understanding on things that seems "Imperfect". "If we met ten years ago, we probably wouldn't have linked. I have not made enough mistakes to be the person that I am now." He once told meThat's true. I was even more opinionated in my twenties, and I have not read as many books, only started to fall for the CURE 10 years ago. I was skinny and had bags under my eyes because of partying and late night to dawn studies were all forced in one week. There's no way he would be into me.
  • I'm (not so) secretly psyched that I'll always be younger than him. This leads to the idea of how healthy I should still be when it comes to taking care of our family in future.
  • Different approach. When we met almost a year ago, texting was not his opt for courting. He emailed (we discussed books, animal welfare, death of Robin Williams, songs, history, peanut butter sandwich), sent hand written letters, postcards, simple gifts which are my kryptonite ; books and old albums, then phone calls, dates, lunch dates, book store, late night talks, dinner and yadayadayada... breakfast in the morning.  Good call, I must say. 
  • Chivalry. Oh Baby, yes. He wont show up in flip-flops, board shorts and or "funny" printed teesHis taste in shoes and music is just impeccable. Opening doors, pulling chairs, not because am a lady but because he's just a gentleman. A swag my age might proudly say "I do not do those." And that's not something I can tolerate. Monochromatic idiocracy. And why guys are like that today? Because ladies, honestly, we let them be. 
  • If you are in your thirties like me, you would find it acceptable for guys to text you day and night. From asking you out to discussing heavier matters. I do not. There are things you can communicate via texts, there are things you cannot/just not acceptable to do so. Men (the good breeds) from a generation older than us know when to use their energy to actually dial. And talk. 
  • And the icing on the cake... They are an Amazing Lover. 
In this age of online dating (oh how I have to bite my tongue as am typing the next phrases here…), it's easy to be drawn to a new level of low in the art of communication. You need more effort than just swiping a guy's profile pic on an app. All the above are just the tip of the iceberg that I can only experience, taste, feel, learn and explore from a real face to face, head to head, phases of dating. And maybe, there's a prize for sticking to your guns.

That was me, trying to tell all of you that I did not meet this man on any online dating app. Nor I am on any of them. *wink.

ps: I talked about this topic a few years ago in this post :). Are you dating someone younger? Same age? Mind to share some stories?


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